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What do you value most from accommodation

Cheap
(vote for this option) (18 Votes, 42%)

Comfortable
(vote for this option) (7 Votes, 16%)

Central Location
(vote for this option) (3 Votes, 7%)

Must be a Hall
(vote for this option)

Quiet
(vote for this option) (4 Votes, 9%)

Lots of Room
(vote for this option) (4 Votes, 9%)

Warm
(vote for this option) (4 Votes, 9%)

I live in a cardboard box by the sea with a pet seal calledDave
(vote for this option) (2 Votes, 4%)


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Andrew Melville Hall

 

Well, let's start with the obvious and get it out the way. It looks hideous, doesn't it? Apparently designed to resemble two ships passing each other, it looks more like two monstrously large bricks with windows. But, as is always said, it's what's inside that counts, and beneath the ugly exterior, it isn't a bad hall by any means.

Andrew Melville Hall (less than affectionately referred to as "Smellville" by pretty much everyone who hasn't yet lived in it) is where I lived in first year, and where I met many of my friends. I'll be honest here and admit that at first, I hated it - the "block" arrangements and plain small rooms make it resemble a prison or some sort of government installation (pipes running across the ceilings!) than a comfortable hall of residence. Indeed, a guide for Americans arriving in St Andrews sums up AMH with a deft "You will hate it". However, it wasn't more than a few weeks before I grew to like it more, and now I'm going back there for my second year, along with most of the rest of the Melville crew I met. Heroes, the lot of them.

The blocks of rooms are divided in to A and B (male), D and E (female), and C (mixed). Block C also has the laundry room at the bottom of it - more on that later. In your room, you're provided with a large desk, small bedside table, sink, wardrobe/cupboard, various shelves, and the all-important bed. Thanks to the layout of the building, every room is a corner room, and you even have reasonably-sized windowsills on both your windows so that you can keep milk cold out there - at least, that's what I used it for. Apparently, the water from the sinks isn't suitable as drinking water, but the people who drank it haven't suffered any hideous mutations as yet. Some rooms also have an extra shelf behind the sink - I think these are mostly in blocks C, D and E, but I could be wrong. Anyway, I wasn't one of the lucky ones.

For brightening up your room you're provided with a pin-board on one wall - officially you're not allowed to have anything up on other walls as it presents a fire hazard, but many people have found that they can pretty much decorate their whole room without any complaints from the cleaners. Of course, candles and smoking are prohibited in your room, and indeed anywhere within the building. You're given two wall sockets which can easily be extended using a four, six or even eight socket adaptor if you're power-hungry.

Each room also has a phone and socket for connection to ResNet. Internal phone calls are free, and I think next year the payment for using the external phone service and connection is going to be compulsory anyway, so there's not much point in moaning about it here. The D-block had some connection problems near the start of the year, but these were eventually rectified. Up in B block, I never had many problems apart from the occasional disconnection.

The rooms on each block are arranged in corridors of sixteen, divided in to two groups of eight by the stairwell. At one end of the corridor there are two toilets and a shower, at the other end there's a toilet, shower and bath. Three toilets and two showers between sixteen doesn't sound much at first, but I never had any problems. Maybe I get up too early. There are also small pantries provided on each floor, which should contain microwaves by the start of next year with any luck, but maybe I'm being too optimistic. Anyway, it's from these rooms that you're supposed to get your drinking water.

It helps to have a varied musical taste in AMH, as you'll be hearing your neighbour's music a lot of the time - the walls aren't that thick. Actually, I never had any problem with those around me, but it was rather the room directly below mine that had rap emanating from it until the early hours of the morning. I don't think I was much better, though. After a couple of weeks, you get used to it - particularly you can also hear the phones going off in other rooms. I live on the High Street anyway, so it didn't bother me much.

Of course, having only spent one year there I've only stayed in one room - in the B block - so all this probably varies depending on where you are in the building. Heating is another thing that isn't constant all round the hall, getting better as you go upwards. One floor above the main corridor, I never turned my radiator on all year and was fine (I couldn't have turned it on even if I wanted to, the knob's covered in glue for some reason). However, down in the basement it can reach sub-Arctic temperatures even with the heating on full blast, so bring a blanket with you.

On to an important aspect of hall life - fire alarms. These are nowhere near as frequent as they are in the nearby New Hall (I think we only had five or six last year, most of which were in the first semester) but you still have to be prepared for them. The cause of all your problems is stuck to the wall above your door - the siren. This could best be described as "bloody loud", and it gave me a massive shock every time it went off while I was happily in the Sinner chatroom. In a way I actually preferred being woken up by it, which only happened twice, as it's less of a surprise. And being the first one dressed and down the stairs and being able to kick the fire door open to break the safety lock Bruce Willis-style is always an attraction. (Is that what you would call it? Safety lock? Never mind - you can call it what you like, I'll call it that.) It's advisable to keep clothes out beside your bed rather than waste time having to hunt through the cupboard, unless you enjoy standing outside in the Scottish freezing cold rain wearing only a dressing-gown, that is. Personally I've never been caught by one while in the shower, but I can't imagine it's very pleasant. Anyway, the alarm is tested for a few seconds at 11am every Wednesday - fortunately for me I've always been away at lectures at that time. It might be an idea to bring a pair of headphones, come to think of it.

Having said more than enough about the rooms themselves, I'll move on to the facilities provided. The laundry is perhaps the one you'll be using most often. As said before, this is located in Room 101 at the bottom of C block, and is obviously just another identical room that was converted for the purpose - you can see where one of the windows has been boarded up and the sink removed. Four washing machines and four dryers are provided - one set of machines for about every 75 residents - so often you'll have to wait your turn. A wash costs £1.20, or £1.40 if you select the Super Cycle option, but I'm yet to find out what difference this makes. The standard cycle lasts 37 minutes according to the machines, but in reality can last anything from 40 minutes to an hour, as the laundry room appears to be caught in some sort of bizarre twisted timewarp (or the timers could just be wrong, I don't know). As for the dryers, the cost is 20p per fifteen minutes - 60p should really be enough to dry anything, even though a couple of dryers can be slightly dodgy at times. Eight plastic bins are provided on the walls, so if someone's left clothes in a machine you can dump the clothes in there and commandeer the machine for yourself.

Irons are provided in the utility rooms on the middle floors of blocks B and D, though as I'm male, ironing seems unnecessary to me. I should mention this, though - there are no shaver sockets anywhere in the Hall to my knowledge, so bring an adaptor.

Post is delivered via a set of pigeon-holes in the lobby. This seems simple enough as long as you realise that your slot is the one below your room number rather than above it as you would expect at first glance - a week after arrival I realised that I'd been taking someone else's junk mail rather than my own.

There are two reading rooms, situated at the end of each "leg" of the building. The Block E reading room has a mini-library in it that's about six feet square and is open for roughly five minutes a week, and at the other end of the building there's a computer suite, or electronic wasteland. There is one relatively modern computer in there, but if someone's using it then it's best not to bother unless you're the technical type who can assemble a working machine from components strewn around the room. To sum up, bring your own computer, even if it's underpowered - that way I might not have the worst computer in the Hall.

The three common rooms are well furnished. The lower common room has a DVD player and video player, and newspapers are provided at the start of each day. The upper common room also has the two players, along with digital TV, a table tennis table, and a wrecked pool table. (The ridges on it just add to the fun of the game). There's also a "Shoppe" for buying some real food after a particularly nasty dinner.

Three modern kitchens are provided, with everything you'll need to cook with (although admittedly the most complex meal I made last year was a plate of bacon rolls). Lockers are provided where you can store your utensils. More importantly, there are also fridges and freezers for food storage - these are relatively secure. I used the tactic of labelling all my groceries, and only had one thing stolen - an elderly bottle of Schloer that had previously been standing in my cupboard for eight months. Whoever stole it probably got what they deserved.

As for the meals you're provided with in the canteen, they reminded me of primary school meals. They're not absolutely hopeless, they're just not incredibly good - I just supplemented my food intake with a few glasses of milk a week and I was fine. Food in most halls is of sub-standard quality, but it's quite nice on the rare occasion that they get something right - it's more of a treat. (Sticky toffee pudding!) Breakfast is provided at 8 if you can be bothered to get up that early, lunch is at 12.45 and dinner at 6, conveniently an hour before the customary watching of The Simpsons down in the common room. Mealtimes change at the weekends, just to confuse everyone who isn't on the ball.

Outside the building, there's The Mound at the front, a handy place for displaying trophies gathered from a hard night's drinking (everything from armchairs to sets of roadworks have found their way up there). And you're provided with a handy staircase up to the Sports Centre, which is almost literally situated on the doorstep, so it's useful for actually getting some exercise as opposed to sitting around on the computer all week. There's also a lake nearby - a few rooms have a view of it, and it's the source of the bad-tempered swans who occasionally wander around the car park. The North Haugh is also home to an immense number of rabbits.

The Hall itself is situated a short walk out of the town - about a mile according to the hall leaflet, but I think that's an exaggeration. It might be slightly inconvenient if you have classes on The Scores, but for scientists it's pretty much ideal as the buildings are just down the road from it. As for "hall spirit", it was the hall that lasted longest without getting any votes at all on the "Which halls have the LEAST atmosphere and friendliness" poll, here on this very site. It's cheap - but that's no reason to assume it's nasty.

Relevant Links:

http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/services/resbus/tour.html - University Tour of Residences

Posted 13:14, 17th Aug 2002 by  Wong  in section Sinner's Guide  (suggest an article in this category)


Readers' Comments
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  Posted by Greebo at 23:28, 15th Jun 2003





less than affectionately referred to as "Smellville" by pretty much everyone who hasn't yet lived in it

And by everyone who has!


http://greebopichost.netfirms.com - Loadsa drunken photos and suchlikes.
  Posted by Sleigh at 16:11, 18th Jun 2003





Also known as Hellville by one witty chap I was talking to.
  Posted by Mr Comedy at 18:46, 25th Jun 2003





you have failed to mention that C block is an all guys block, with the warden blocks (ST and DW, or something like that) are full of chicks.
And where is the section on Kenneth Royce Moore?
  Posted by MercuryAnna at 02:13, 3rd Jul 2003





Some comments/addendums...

The blocks of rooms are divided in to A and B (male), D and E (female), and C (mixed).

Comedy is right - C is all boys. It might also be prudent to mention that each block has about 50 people, making for a grand total of 250. Despite the large size (and perhaps aided by the common dining room), you'll know a surprising amount of people. I hardly ever walked through the lobby without seeing at least one person I knew.

every room is a corner room, and you even have reasonably-sized windowsills on both your windows

In most rooms, only the larger window opens. If you're in the basement, you can crawl out of your window (just don't get caught)... but it's quite a risk to leave things on your window sill/leave the window open - there are some unsavory characters out there. As for the room itself, it's rather spacious and you're guaranteed a single.

The D-block had some connection problems near the start of the year, but these were eventually rectified. Up in B block, I never had many problems apart from the occasional disconnection.

Actually, it was half of the building: C, D, and E blocks. They had some piece of equipment (the router?) in what became a kitchen. Apparently this was not a good situation. But it did get much better as the year progressed - it was really only a problem when it went out on weekends, as no one was around to fix it.

There are also small pantries provided on each floor

These have a hot water heater-upper... especially useful for ramen, pot noodle, coffee and hot chocolate. Oh, and tea for you tea-lovers (I know you're out there).

However, down in the basement it can reach sub-Arctic temperatures even with the heating on full blast, so bring a blanket with you.

A blanket IS provided, but it's pretty scratchy. They give you a sheet, duvet, duvet cover, and two pillows with cases. Also (if you can remember), bring your linen down at the appointed time, every two weeks, and get fresh ones. The bins are also emptied about three times a week, and your room "hoovered" and sink cleaned every week. This may be expected by some of you, but it was a new experience for me. What service!

There's also a "Shoppe" for buying some real food after a particularly nasty dinner.

As far as I know, the Shoppe only sells candy. But the New Hall store is very close by, and while it's not open 24/7, it does have more "actual" food items. New Hall has a cafe, too.

Three modern kitchens are provided, with everything you'll need to cook with

Not everything... remember to bring pots, pans, and dishes. There's no dinner on Saturday and Sunday nights, so unless you've got loads of cash, cooking is the best option. The kitchens do get tropically hot, but in general, they're not terribly crowded. Bring a lock for the lockers. The refrigerators aren't top class and can get a bit stuffed/smelly, but just label your stuff "tofu" and you'll be fine.

As for the meals you're provided with in the canteen

Soup or juice! Soup or juice! You can't have both!! In general, the soup's no good anyway. There's usually three options for the main meal (the plates are already made up), with one being vegetarian. Be prepared to be inundated with potatoes - sometimes you get three varieties on one plate. There's no hope for vegans. Turn back now.

Well, that's all I can think of for now... sorry I went on so long. I have to say that yes, I HATED Melville even before I got to St Andrews, and even more after I saw it for the first time. After trying very hard to get transferred, I thought I'd just tough it out. An excellent decision, as I grew to love it. You get used to the walk, you get used to the food, and you get used to the annoying layout. A hall isn't about the posh amenities or the first class food, nor is it about the square footage of your room, the location, or the building's architectural beauty. It's about the people you meet and the good times you have.

I miss Melville a lot and I'm incredibly jealous of those who are going back (I was a JYA)... what more can I say?

Posted 13:14, 17th Aug 2002 by Wong

Wow, David... before you had even matriculated! Now THAT's dedication.

  Posted by Wong at 10:37, 3rd Jul 2003





Hmm, I don't know how that happened. Thanks for the addendadadaadada.
  Posted by Mr Comedy at 21:59, 6th Jul 2003





A little known fact about melville is that its 63% cooler than JBH!
  Posted by Wong at 14:56, 7th Jul 2003





And 88% of statistics are made up on the spot.
  Posted by SiouxieSioux at 11:47, 19th Jul 2003





Everyone forgot to mention Comedy dave and Anu
  Posted by liliputian at 16:00, 22nd Oct 2003





less than affectionately referred to as "Smellville" by pretty much everyone who hasn't yet lived in it
apparently to be placed into melville now has its own verb and noun!
to be melvillised (v)
melvillisation (n)
  Posted by Unregistered User Tim Morten at 17:52, 3rd Feb 2004



Glad to see that life in Melville hasn’t changed too much over the last twenty years. One improvement seems to be in the heating. If you were lucky you used to have under-floor electric heating, running for about six hours a day. In 30% of the rooms this had failed, and you had to rely on the expensive electric radiant heater above the wardrobes. The lower floors were then largely uninhabitable, with ground water flooding them several inches deep in the winter. I believe they installed pumps to lower the water table. It was not just in appearance that Melville was like a ship.

I’m amused to see that ‘fire risk’ is the reason given for not allowing posters on the wall. It used to be ‘the blue-tac ruins the paintwork’.

No smoking in your rooms? Poor things, you all must be suffering from Hypothermia, hanging your heads outside the windows for a quick drag. Maybe you are all clean living, and do not smoke (natch).

As you mentioned, there never was too much of a problem with the number of showers. A sneaky trick on Raisin Monday was to turn on all the showers and lock the doors from the outside (this could be done with a coin) before the Bejants returned to de-gunk themselves.

I had a two great years at Melville (and one rotten one, but that’s another story). Hope you all have fun, do some work and stay warm.

If they still have the old group photographs hanging up in Reception, I can be seen somewhen around 1982..83 sitting in the front row with a large whisky bottle and a cheesy grin, about to be assaulted by the Warden’s baby.

  Posted by Unregistered User Tim Morten (again?) at 13:08, 5th Feb 2004



I have to admit to being in disagreement with most people about the architecture of the building. I think it is stunningly beautiful, and is by far the finest building of its era in St Andrews, and possibly Scotland. I appreciate that those who are drawn to St Andrews by its antiquity, find Melville a shock and a disappointment. However, for many, the disappointment soon evaporates. The shock often lingers.

It is clear that James Stirling, the architect, was inspired by some great ocean liner when designing the building. In later life I was involved, in a minor way, with one of his last works, No 1 Poultry in London (built posthumously). This is clearly inspired by a German warship of the Second World War.

CF


Several other theories emerged over the years to explain the shape of Melville. One of my favourites was that it represented the mother of Academe, pouring forth students from between its legs every morning, and tolerating their drunken advances in the opposite direction at night.

One of the simple, often overlooked, but great features of the building is that all routes through it pass through the lobby. Sit there for a short time and you are sure to meet someone you know, or would like to know. This, I am sure, underpins the reputation for friendliness that Melville had, and I hope still has.

  Posted by Wong at 19:04, 17th Feb 2004





"No 1 Poultry" does look interesting - I still maintain that Melville is less than a pretty sight, though.


When you play with fire, you must anticipate some burns
Chasing for desire, it's just a different way to learn

Edited: 2004-02-17 19:18:44 by User, 2004-05-28 12:57:33 by User

  Posted by Unregistered User Andy at 10:00, 25th May 2004



Andrew Melville Hall

Looking back, it was perfect. I should have stayed 4 years and studied 15 hrs in the library and the remainder in my study bedroom and I would have got a 1st class degree from St A.
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