UNIVERSITY OF ST ANDREWS
STUDENT SUPPORT SERVICES
FIRST DATE CONVERSATION
Student Support Services
Students’ Union Building
St. Andrews KY16 9UZ
Tel: 01334 462720
E-mail: sss@st-andrews.ac.uk
Web: www.st-andrews.ac.uk/services/sss
FIRST-DATE CONVERSATION
You have done the hard work. You have approached someone and not only talked to them, but secured both their telephone number and a date to boot! So now comes D-Day – the Date! There is a lot you can do to prepare, to help things run smoothly and, hopefully, help you get a second date.
Where to go on a First Date
The first thing to think about is the best place to go. Lunch is a good option: it usually lasts between one and two hours and there is no pressure to stick around. If, however, things are going really well, you can always go on somewhere else.
If choosing to go out to dinner, then take care with the restaurant you choose as some might dim the lights and soften the music, which can make it look like you are on a romantic date – before you have worked out if that’s the way you would like it to be.
Pre-Date Preparation
Awkward silences often panic people but a little preparation can go a long way. By reading a couple of newspapers to brush up on things like showbiz gossip and current affairs, you will have plenty of material to chat to your companion about. It might even help to pick four or five interesting topics, jot them down and keep them handy. Nine times out of ten, just knowing they are there is enough – you will probably find that you don’t need them anyway.
Conversation on the Date
To take the pressure off the date and to guarantee that the chat flows freely, you can prepare a loose plan of what you would like to talk about. You will probably find that you don’t need it but, as any tightrope walker will admit, the experience is a lot more comfortable with a safety net.
So prepare yourself with a conversational beginning, middle and end. You could ask questions about the menu, food or wine your companion likes, the journey he or she had to make to get there, his or her work and whether they enjoy it:-
What shall we have to drink?
Do you fancy wine with the meal?
Let’s check out the menu. Is there anything on the menu you haven’t had before?
Where do you live? Did it take you long to get here?
What sort of work do you do? Do you enjoy it?
You could ask questions about hobbies, travel or anything he or she has mentioned previously that could be expanded on:-
What do you do in your spare time?
Have you travelled much? Where have you been?
Are you going on holiday this year?
Is there somewhere you have always wanted to go? Why?
You could also throw in an offbeat question to lighten the mood:-
If you could cook for any 3 people in history, who would they be?
What would you cook for them?
As the date is progressing and a second date has not been agreed or has not come up, you could ask:-
What was the last film you saw?
Is there anything on at the moment that you would like to see?
Would you like to go with me next week to see it then?
Of course, he or she might have picked a film that you have already seen. You don’t need to worry about that at this point – you have got a second date agreed. But when it actually comes to the second date, you could say, “I am not in the mood for the cinema. Do you fancy going for a drink instead?”
Five Tips for Success:-
1.Have a few questions and conversation topics prepared in advance.
2.Listen to your date with genuine interest.
3.Ask questions, talk about the food you are eating, share the conversation.
4.Be positive and remember you are selling yourself on this first date.
5.And finally, you wanted this date, so think happy and enjoy yourself!
For more help and information about this or about anything else, why not speak to Student Support? Or if you have, then why not speak to them some more!
BBC
2007
http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/students/safety/Leaflets/
Posted by 
