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Nirvana turned shit the second Kurt wallpapered his living room with his brains (God please noone reply with 'actually it was his kitchen' or any such pedantry), their legacy the ever expanding wallets of Chad Kroeger, Puddle of Mudd and the rest of those powerpop-picking poofters. Oh, and if The Wh...

OK Prince Pedantic, they didn't WRITE it, but they still fucking PLAYED it.
Could someone get him a glass of water for crying out loud?

John Entwistle died in a Vegas hotel room of a heart attack induced by lots of coke and a prostitute. The Who's best album is Quadrophenia, although Mark'll probably say it's Tommy, or something daft like that. Anyway, The Who were the best band of all time and piss all over The Beatles and The Ston...

Fret ye not! We do not know yet how many future rock stars were born in 2002, although by the time they're old enough we'll hate them anyway. In fact, fuck it, let's start hating them now.

I HATE YOU ALL, FUTURE ROCK STAR BABY CHILDREN!

My favourite insult is 'RockSoc message boarder'.

Freddy will ALWAYS win, simply because there's not enough Pro Plus to go around.

No, it's the Undertones that are best, and the best Clash song was Punky Reggae Party in collaboration with Lee 'Scratch' Perry. You'll have to take my word for it though, 'cos if you can find it you're obviously no spending enough time looking for porn

Oh, and I've just thought up some WORSE song lyics:
I have become a silent movie
The hero killed the clown
Can't make a sound

Deep, dude.

Oh, and it does rain all the time, I know 'cos I'm omnipresent.

The Coral are the best band going at the moment if you compare them to any bugger on your lists.
But why is noone mentioning 'The Parkinsons'? For christ's sake, they're called 'The Parkinsons', they MUST be cunts!

Saves a bit of time...

No, Oli! the reason people have stopped posting is that nobody has anything to say! I mean, look at this two here: all they're doing is a subtle form of mental mutual masturbation (try saying that standing upside down with your head in a bucket while the macho king Randy Savage violently fists you w...

Yay! the musical vultures descend on yet another thread! How many is that now? Have you managed to bitch about your nonsense on the screaming thread yet?
Go ye boys ye.

Damn, and I was going to send mine in on wax cylinder.

My god! In front of my very eyes I have seen Michael Myaers ressurected on the telly! And...Jamie Lee Curtis has been ressurected too! Yay, the best-looking hermaphrodite I've seen yet (and I'm still looking). Pressure darts, Wes.

The pirates wouldn't take Quavers, but I got round them with an ancient packet of tubes.

It was that fat police officer. although it would have been neater if dr. loomis would have been beheaded at instead, but he's already dead....or is he??? lol

Since I've been fingered on this thread already (her-her) I would like to point out that the new Oasis album is as good as anything they've done (yes, even Definitely Maybe) and anyone who says otherwise either isn't a fan, which is fair enough, or isn't 15 anymore. Sorry, Liam, but the one person w...

Sex? Do you want some, are you offering, or did you post your message wrong and sex is actually your name?
The floor demands an answer.

I heard the pirates were organising a dance spectacular, at the Eden Court theatre in Inverness. Friday night only, £7 in.

Freddy will always win, 'cos Wes Craven is a bottomless pit of implausible ways to never kill off your implausible Indian-dream-state child molestor. Jason's mum would be in with a shout, though, and Michael Myers died in H20, presumably so he could be in the new Austin Powers movie (her-her). Not s...