how to get over love

[soontobeheartbroken]

So dearest sinners you seem to have opinions about most things so i was wondering you would be able to help me out.

When summer comes around i'm going to be left in St Andrews alone and heartbroken. He's graduating, i'm not and we don't want to have a long messy long distance thing. I'm already dreading it although i am making the most of the time we have together. But how can i make the inevitable pain go away? What is the best way to mend a broken heart? And why on earth does it hurt so much?

Give me your opinions please!

[FATOO8]

Ben and jerry's ice-cream whilst watching ladder 49 and crying till there is no tomorrow!

[bobluvsu]

http://www.rainymood.com/ listen to this non stop

but srsly, love prevails

[fluffy]

break it off now. dragging it out will make it worse in the long run.

[Meilinda]

- force urself to see and comprehend the inevitable
- get lots lots lots of activities
- find a good rebound

U pick ..

[the Empress]

I find being cold and emotionally distant is the best thing. Or so I gather from the page long text I just recieved complaining about how cold and emotionally distant I am by not caring that they're moving to Scotland.

[standysguy]

To be honest, if you're that broken up about it, then don't finish. Make it work. I've had to manage a long term relationship and I feel it's actually strengthened our bond. But if you've decided that you don't want to do that, then the relationship should be that much easier to get over anyway. If you're upset about finishing, then don't. It probably means your relationship is strong enough to survive the distance.

[Senethro]

To be honest, if you're that broken up about it, then don't finish. Make it work. I've had to manage a long term relationship and I feel it's actually strengthened our bond. But if you've decided that you don't want to do that, then the relationship should be that much easier to get over anyway. If you're upset about finishing, then don't. It probably means your relationship is strong enough to survive the distance.

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[wild_quinine]

To be honest, if you're that broken up about it, then don't finish. Make it work. I've had to manage a long term relationship and I feel it's actually strengthened our bond.

She is totally doing someone else.

But if you've decided that you don't want to do that, then the relationship should be that much easier to get over anyway. If you're upset about finishing, then don't. It probably means your relationship is strong enough to survive the distance.

Uh, sorry about the facetious comment. I'm such an asshole. But I have something serious to say.

I do not think that you should measure relationships like this. Or judge their tensile strength like this. People do change, despite everything I've come to believe to the contrary, and they change based on the lives they lead, and living a life with someone can mean changing with them. Likewise being apart means different changes, which send you in different directions. You won't be more bonded by this, and it's almost inevitable.

If a relationship can survive indefinitely at great distance, devoid of shared experience, then I don't know what that says about the relationship but it doesn't say much about your growth as people, and life is growth. No offence intended, but at best long distance puts you on haitus, as people not just as lovers. If you're that much in love, go with them. If not, hell, it's up to you what you do, but I'd say that if you're not willing to sacrifice your life for love, then don't sacrifice your life for love.

- QW

[big_phil]

Well as someone who left St Andrews at the same time as his gf of 2.5 years I can tell you it becomes hard work at long distance. You start leading separate lives and (as in the case of my now ex-gf) one of you tends to stop making the effort. It can happen immediately or gradually.

Now some people can make long distance work if there is going to be a time you can see where you'll both be together again (I'm not just talking about a weekend). However, in your time apart people do change and not always from the better. My opinion - having gone through long distance myself -is to start ending it now as, from what you said, he obviously doesn't want to attempt it. Save yourself the hurt that you can see coming in the long run.

[soontobeheartbroken]

Hey guys

Thanks for your words. I know it seems weird to a bunch of you but i see it that we should enjoy the time we have together. Hence why we're still together just now. It's fun to be with someone you care about even though ulimately you know it has to come to an end. After all i'm only 21 for goodness sake, i'm not looking for a husband. However, having said that i do still care about him and breaking up is going to be hard because i care about him. We don't want to try a long distance thing because we're not in that place just now and i'm sure it would fail very quickly. Just because we don't want to try long distance doesn't mean our relationship isn't worth anything or as much as those starry eyed people who actually believe long term long distance could work.

I know that it's going to be hard in a few months but right now it's fun and happy so surely you should hold on to the things that make you happy for as long as you can? You can't be happy all the time but for now we are so shouldn't we keep these feelings of happiness for now??

[starchild]

It seems you've made your own mind up by now, without the advice of other people (although sometimes it's nice for people to tell you that you've made the right decision). Good luck to you