Home

TheSinner.net

Be nice

If you're panicking about anything, ask your question here and someone will be happy to help. For more serious issues you'd rather discuss in confidence, visit Student Support Services.

Be nice

Postby Guest on Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:20 am

Does anyone else new to the university find people rather unfriendly?

People here seem to be very hostile to strangers. It seems everyone has their circle of friends and they don't want anyone to interfere with their routine. Most people barely respond to a , 'hello'.
I don't understand, why be so negative?
What are you achieving?
Does it make you feel superior?

I think I've reached the point of giving up trying.
Guest
 

Re: Be nice

Postby Archie on Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:46 pm

It can feel that way at first; most new people feel the same. Don't give up, one day it will all just click into place for you and you'll be glad you came to St Andrews.

Hi btw.
Archie
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 2:23 pm

Re: Be nice

Postby wild_quinine on Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:41 am

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt if they seem cliquey.

It's easy to overinterpret signals when you're feeling vulnerable, for one thing. But also, it's quite natural to take a little while to adjust to someone new. And it's very easy to ignore someone new in a group when you don't really know what to say to them, or don't know what you've got in common... it's a fault, there's no denying that. But it's not your fault. Sometimes, you just have to be the bigger person to start something off.

So give people a few chances to welcome you, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable. Don't give up after one or two bad experiences. Good people come round.

If not, move on. No harm done, and the experience will make you better at meeting other people who will give a damn.

Note: There are some, very few, people who do care very deeply about the quality of the company they keep, and will actively try to keep others out. Don't worry too much about them. They're not as common as you might think, and they'll get theirs. They maybe don't realise, but the quality of the company they're so interested in keeping is uniformly lousy.
wild_quinine
User avatar
 
Posts: 216
Joined: Sun May 10, 2009 11:57 pm

Re: Be nice

Postby stripedtights on Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:14 pm

Dont give up!
im from south africa and generally find people here very closed and unfreindly on first meeting. Just give them time and almost everyone will eventually talk to you, They just dont seem to like putting themselves out there! Unless you are trying to break into very particular circles *cough FS cough* then i think if you are always smiley and chatty it should be fine. Join a sport club=instant freinds. I recomend cycling..
Alternativly walk around town carrying a conspicously strange object and people WILL stop and chat!
:P
"he who hides his private parts will never have children(or fun)"
stripedtights
 
Posts: 49
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:28 pm

Re: Be nice

Postby MLZ on Wed Feb 16, 2011 2:51 pm

To be honest I have found exactly the same thing! And Im now in second year.
But keep trying! Hope you meet some more friendly people soon!
MLZ
 

Re: Be nice

Postby ANewFriend on Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:00 pm

Hello!

I am sorry to hear you have found this. I won't pretend I haven't too at one time or another, however, please don't give up! I may not know you, but I do care. I hope things turn around for you soon! :)
ANewFriend
 


Return to Advice Please!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

cron