10 Things New Star Wars Film Taught Me

[Prophet Tenebrae]

1. Greatly advanced technology still requires huge numbers of people to run at each other in the style of 18th century battle.

2. Mandalorian armour does not include a neck piece - oops!

3. In 10 years any species can grow a beard.

4. Being a midget muppet with a walking stick doesn't stop you from being a master of 80's style rap saber technique.

5. Bounty hunters like to keep their kids/ clones running around their feet with such useful advice as "shoot them".

6. Doors and other such safety features on spaceships are really out of fashion in Star Wars.

7. You're much safer hanging around on a planet that everyone knows you're on instead of - say - a random location in space.

8. Jedi's carry spare lightsabres of the appropriate colour for their buddies.

9. The only effect of falling out of a ship travelling at speed is to be stunned for a while.

10. Regardless of leaving part of your ship behind, no one will ever steal it.

[Emma]

11)Even after enduring a harrowing and life-threatening nightmare ride on a droid conveyor-belt and then being dragged out to be executed your hair will still remain glossy and perfectly styled in the manner it was when you left the ship.

12) 'I've been dying a little every day' is a great chat-up line. (attributed to Kensson)

13) Even dropping 500 feet through insane space-traffic will not harm you, and when you hit your master/partner's ship you will not so much as rock it.

14) Executing monsters will tear your clothes but not your skin (again, Kensson)

15)Fry chefs with multiple eyes can always identify bullets better than sophisticated military technology

16) Having slabs of heavy metal repeatedly stamped on to your arm will leave it undamaged

17) Sonic explosions happen in space (that was me, not the solar theorist, honest)

18) Space ships composed of God knows what elements always burn with a yellow flame and exude black smoke that never seems to harm anyone.

19) The walls in royal palaces on Naboo are so thin that people at least a suite away can hear when the people down the corridor are masturbating, sorry, having nightmares.

20)Syntax scrambling cool is, and mighty intelligence indicates (Good for marketing am I. Mmmm)