Londinium

[flarewearer]

I have to go to an interview in the village of London, I believe it is located somewhere in the South of this sceptred isle. IT is my understanding that some of you chaps know this place better than I, who has only ever had the pleasure of it once when I was about 10.

What is the best way for a novice such as myself to traverse this megalopoplis? I need to get from Kings Cross to Liverpool Street station with minimum amounts of being robbed / set upon by pigeons / getting congestion charged.

[hr]

[Lid]

Take the Circle, Metropolitan, or Hammersmith and City line Eastbound from Kings Cross to Liverpool Street. It's only 4 stops along.

If you're doing any extensive travelling on the tube, get an oystercard, much cheaper.

[hr]

We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires

[Jim]

Reminds me of this...

Some people might like to get a train to work,
Or drive in in a beamer or a merc.
Some guys like to travel in a bus,
But I can't be bothered with the fuss.

Today I better take my bike,
'Cos once again the tube's on strike
The greedy bastards want extra pay,
for sitting on their arse all day,
even though they're on 30k.

So I'm standing here in the pouring rain,
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING TRAIN?

London Underground, London Underground,
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts.
London Underground, London Underground,
They're all greedy cunts, I wanna shoot them all,
With a rifle...

All they say is 'Please mind the doors',
And they learn that on the 2-day course.
This job could be done by a four-year-old.
They just leave us freezing in the cold.

What you smell is what you get,
Burger King and piss and sweat.
You roast to death from the boiling heat,
The tourists treading on your feet,
And chewing gum on every seat,

So don't tell me, to mind the gap,
I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY BACK!

London Underground, London Underground,
They're all lazy fucking useless cunts,
London Underground, London Underground,
They're all greedy cunts, I wanna shoot them all,
With a rifle...

La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,

The floors are sticky and the seats are damp,
Every platform has a fucking tramp,

But the drivers get the day off when
WE'RE ALL LATE FOR WORK AGAIN!

London Underground, London Underground,
You're all wankers! You're all wankers!
London Underground, London Underground,
Take your Oyster Card, and shove it up your arsehole.

[Paranoid]

If your only down for a day dont bother with an Oyster, just buy a Travelday card, gives you multiple trips throughout the day of purchase within zones 1 and 2.

Longer than a day then yeah your better off with a pay-as-you-go oyster.

Kings Cross to Liverpool street is pretty straight forward on the tube.

[hr]

..I've got this pain down all the diodes on my left side...

[bdw]

Alternatively, if you're being fully comped on expenses, cab it.

[Magus]

Be careful in Kings Cross - run for the tube as soon as you get off the train, otherwise the evil pigeon brigade will hunt you down, mwhahahahaha!!!
Seriously, there are loads of pigeons in that station...

[hr]

When I would pray and think, I think and pray to several subjects.

[Lid]

Jim, for my own sanity, tell me that you copied and pasted the lyrics to 'London Underground' by Amateur Transplants from a website and didn't listen and re-listen to it to write that.

[hr]

We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires