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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby jollytiddlywink on Sun Mar 25, 2012 2:26 pm

macgamer wrote:You and others on The Sinner may be interested to know that I, like Milo Yiannopoulos, am one of those 'gay' Catholics. Although I do not adopt the 'gay' or 'homosexual' identities. It is only very recently that I've made sense of what same-sex attraction means to me and so have become more open about. So there's something else to talk about right there. This revelation from me probably explains a few things now...


Congratulations on your coming out. I'm glad to hear that you've recognised and acknowledged your sexuality, and that you are much more at peace with yourself as a result. It's a big step in life to come out to yourself, and then to come out to your friends, as you have done. I'm sorry to hear that you feel your parents' love for you is not unconditional.

Obviously these are topics on which we have crossed swords before, but I don't want to address marriage except to ask that just as you have your beliefs and wish to be able to live by them, so others have their beliefs and wish to be able to live by them.

Beyond that, I'd like to speak as one gay man to another. I know that you don't like the labels 'gay' or 'homosexual' but they are really nothing more than a way of pointing out that we are attracted to other men; no more and no less. There is no 'gay lifestyle' or 'gay identity' any more than there is a 'straight identity' or a 'straight lifestyle.' There are just lives lived by gay men. I promise you that there's more than enough room in the gay tent for both a celibate catholic like yourself and an atheist with a long-term boyfriend like me. But if you don't want to identify as gay, that's up to you. Indeed, however you want to identify is up to you.

The LGBT community, overall, tries to avoid imposing labels on others because we don't like being labelled ourselves, and just as I resist being labelled as having 'same-sex attraction' so I suspect you resist being labelled as 'gay.' So beyond pointing out my thoughts, and the thoughts of most people I know about what identifying as gay means to them, I'll leave it at that.

It seems like you've done a fair bit of searching around to understand how your sexuality and your religion interact. I'm not best placed to offer my thoughts on this, given my distinct lack of belief, but I do have friends who see no disconnect between being gay, lesbian or bi (and not just celibately gay, lesbian or bi) and fully participating in their churches. Their churches see no disconnect, either. These friends of mine are protestants rather than catholics, but I believe that there are groups of gay catholics around as well who would doubtless welcome you, and I'm sure you'd feel at home with them. If you ever feel like you want to come out to your parents, or indeed if they ask you and you don't want to lie to them, there are lots of people to talk to and resources online for that kind of situation, some of which I can point you towards if you want.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby macgamer on Sun Mar 25, 2012 3:11 pm

jollytiddlywink wrote:Congratulations on your coming out. I'm glad to hear that you've recognised and acknowledged your sexuality, and that you are much more at peace with yourself as a result. It's a big step in life to come out to yourself, and then to come out to your friends, as you have done.

Thank-you, for your kind sentiment. Hmm, 'coming out', that's term I was a pains to stress to friends was not happening in my case. Words and their attachments... For the non-Catholic friends especially, it was important that they understood the details of my situation. For them, 'coming out' would have had specific connotations.

jollytiddlywink wrote:I'm sorry to hear that you feel your parents' love for you is not unconditional.

It would be too much for them. The way they are treating my brother just because they disapprove of his girlfriend is disgraceful. I shudder to think of their reaction if they knew the truth about me.

jollytiddlywink wrote:Obviously these are topics on which we have crossed swords before, but I don't want to address marriage except to ask that just as you have your beliefs and wish to be able to live by them, so others have their beliefs and wish to be able to live by them.

Indeed we have. I hope you understood the difference between 'robust debate' and me being a git. Catholics are a minority in this country and have been for 500 years, I'm well used to having people disagree with me and relaxed about that. If a gay friend of mine were to invite me to his or her wedding it would be a difficult one for me. I'd actually have to politely decline, but hopefully they would understand that it wasn't because I disliked them.

Anyway, I'm sure I've apologised in the past for coming across a git, but I'll apologise again. Although, not for my beliefs you must understand.

jollytiddlywink wrote:Beyond that, I'd like to speak as one gay man to another. I know that you don't like the labels 'gay' or 'homosexual' but they are really nothing more than a way of pointing out that we are attracted to other men; no more and no less. There is no 'gay lifestyle' or 'gay identity' any more than there is a 'straight identity' or a 'straight lifestyle.' There are just lives lived by gay men.

You'll find me in agreement with you on that one, but I do not sense that is how it comes across generally. To whom I am predominately (it's not exclusively same-sex, but almost) attracted is just a facet of me as a person. I find the sub-culture embraced by some homosexuals rather off-putting.

jollytiddlywink wrote:I promise you that there's more than enough room in the gay tent for both a celibate catholic like yourself and an atheist with a long-term boyfriend like me. But if you don't want to identify as gay, that's up to you. Indeed, however you want to identify is up to you.

I wish I could believe you. There's one gay colleague I've discussed this with and he doesn't really understand my position.

jollytiddlywink wrote:The LGBT community, overall, tries to avoid imposing labels on others because we don't like being labelled ourselves, and just as I resist being labelled as having 'same-sex attraction' so I suspect you resist being labelled as 'gay.' So beyond pointing out my thoughts, and the thoughts of most people I know about what identifying as gay means to them, I'll leave it at that.

I don't see a 'gay' person, I just see another person with his or her own intrinsic worth and dignity. A person, who like everyone else wants the security of being loved. How this latter bit is sought or achieved is where we diverge.

jollytiddlywink wrote:It seems like you've done a fair bit of searching around to understand how your sexuality and your religion interact. I'm not best placed to offer my thoughts on this, given my distinct lack of belief, but I do have friends who see no disconnect between being gay, lesbian or bi (and not just celibately gay, lesbian or bi) and fully participating in their churches. Their churches see no disconnect, either. These friends of mine are protestants rather than catholics, but I believe that there are groups of gay catholics around as well who would doubtless welcome you, and I'm sure you'd feel at home with them. If you ever feel like you want to come out to your parents, or indeed if they ask you and you don't want to lie to them, there are lots of people to talk to and resources online for that kind of situation, some of which I can point you towards if you want.

There's more progress to be made, but I'm feeling much more comfortable about it my faith and attractions. I have been thinking about helping to restart or contribute to a group for Catholics with SSA who wish to live by the Church's teachings. Although, I'm slightly wary that it might just be potential for uncomfortable and awkward emotional attachments to form. I think that such an endeavour is premature for me. I need to be stronger and more comfortable with dealing with passing infatuations.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby wild_quinine on Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:10 pm

None of which are sufficient leverage to explain (yet again) why feminism isn't about egalitarianism. Go read that thread again if the concept still baffles you.


This is everything you needed to say.

It shows that:

a) You know exactly to what I'm referring: your own views on feminist theory, and the mode of their expression
b) Your position from that thread remains completely unchanged, even though
c) you still, quite clearly, don't understand - or don't care to understand - the complex, nuanced objections to your position.

The position you hold, that feminism (by semantic definition!) is not an egalitarian movement is logically correct, of course. And I have sympathy for your ire against 'positive' discrimination.

But your total failure to sensibly engage with any of the subsequent points, objections, evaluations, comments and criticisms on this entrenched view, have marked you out as a fundamentalist on sexual politics.

You're clearly not stupid, but you are terribly blinkered. I know damn well you won't like hearing that, but I also doubt you'll pay much attention this time around, either. You seem to think you're progressive in your opinions on sexual politics, but actually the way you made your case was nothing short of patronising. (All wordplay intended.)

Your position could be boiled down to 'I have worked it out! The conclusion is obvious! No dissent can be brooked!' with
worrying shades of 'Don't worry your pretty little head about it'.

The fact that you thought you thought you were advertising for Humanism throughout was the only bit I kind of enjoyed.

RedCelt69 wrote:I'm left with a few possible conclusions as to why you posted this comment ... It's one of those three.


OK, so what actually happened was your further criticism of sexual politics in religion finally broke the camel's back.

I wasn't criticising the content of your post nearly so much as reacting to the hypocrisy of your position. It was meant to be a throwaway comment at the end of a more serious post about Macgamer's exciting revelation, but I got carried away because I was so peeved.

My regret is not getting carried away today, it is in not getting more carried away at the time, when you made all those obnoxious posts. All I can say is that I had other stuff going on.

Yes, the Catholic Church discriminates against women. Yes, it's terrible. Yes, they can and should be specifically criticised for it.

But coming from you, that really grates.

There are at least two solid reasons why I doubt even the pope ever put the cap on a losing argument with the phrase "Jesus Christ but I hate feminists so very very much," and only one of them is the blasphemy.

And if anyone reading this has forgotten what kind of reasoning evokes that kind of response from RedCelt, I invite you to read one of the most insightful posts ever presented on The Sinner.

I don't necessarily agree with everything that G13 said throughout the course of the discussion, but if you can find a more concise, practical, honest, fairminded appeal to have your beliefs re-evaluated than that, let me know.

That post was everything Humanism was ever meant to be, and watch as the most active proponent of Humanism on this board takes a huge, manly shit all over it without even stopping to wipe.

Because he already knows best.

RedCelt69 wrote:The pre-Christians would (I have little doubt) have failed as humans can fail, in one way or another. But it wouldn't have been a matter of dogma, following the word of a holy tract.


No, it is *always* about dogma.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby The Cellar Bar on Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:06 pm

"Those that continued to practise homosexuality later into adulthood were shunned..........."

again macgamer - not to labour the point too much but you will need to go back and review that notion. "Homosexuality" wasn't regarded as "sinful" or "reprehensible" in Biblical terms. Go back and look to even the most worn-out of arguments in support of its denigrators and you will find that not even aAul regards "homosexualtiy" as a sin. Like I said, what he regarded as a sin was the "fornication" nature of it. The notion of heading for the "forni" - the arches at places likethe Colosseum where the hookers hung out. That's where the word "fornication" comes from! From the act of going "over the wall", of indulging in a pratice OUTSIDE of marriage. And the "sin" applied to both parties. Women hiring the services of a man or another woman or a young boy or a young girl. Just as it did for men. NOT the practice, not the "life style choice" - but the act of taking part in it outside of a marriage. Of essentially adulterating the marriage.

The Bhoys in the Vatican even achieved the same with the "Sodomy" story. In that instance, the "sin" invoked was not the group of young homosexuals arriving at Lot's door and encouraging him to allow two visitors to go out and party with them. The "sin" for Lot would have been in allowing two strangers in his house and his care to go out on the town with total strangers whom he had no cause to trust with the well-being of his visitors. Homosexuality was not the issue. The issue was the breach of hospitality rules that prevailed then. They even manage the misinterpretation of his daughter being a "virgin" to up the ante and to highlight his apparent dismay at the idea of homosexual practice. Lot's daughter was a virgin in the ACTUAL sense of being unmarried. That's ALL that "virgin" means. In ANY context - unmarried. Not "sexually knowledgeable" - but straightforwardly essentially available because she wasn't married.

And from all thise blatant deliberate misinterpretations comes your present dilemma - that anyone of any deceny can sympathise with. There is in fact no real proper condemnation of "homosexuality in the Bible. They were then aware and apparently tolerated a variety of "sexualities" and had done for millenia. The reservations they had were in respect of how it affected the future of both the marriage itself and the well-being of the children involved in terms of legitimacy to inheritance claims and the rest. But not - absolutely NOT - the sexuality of any person.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby RedCelt69 on Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:14 pm

wild_quinine wrote:It shows that:

What it actually shows is that I remain tired of pissing in the wind, explaining my position to people who were unable to concede the remotest of ground. G13, from memory, included some anti-male comments in a familiar pattern of feminist tropes, but don't let that put you off from your polishing of her halo.

wild_quinine wrote:OK, so what actually happened was your further criticism of sexual politics in religion finally broke the camel's back.

Riiiight... so, stating a truth broke the camel's back. OK.

wild_quinine wrote:...so much as reacting to the hypocrisy of your position.

Yes. Calling me a hypocrite when I am the very reverse is a very dickish thing to do.

wild_quinine wrote:My regret is not getting carried away today, it is in not getting more carried away at the time, when you made all those obnoxious posts. All I can say is that I had other stuff going on.

I am obnoxious to the obnoxious. I couldn't give a flying fuck that my obnoxiousness peeved you, if the obnoxiousness that I received didn't also peeve you.

wild_quinine wrote:Yes, the Catholic Church discriminates against women. Yes, it's terrible. Yes, they can and should be specifically criticised for it.

But coming from you, that really grates.

It grates coming from someone who is more egalitarian than... you? Or more egalitarian than the people who were obnoxious (yet you weren't peeved at)? Either way, that's your problem. It certainly isn't mine. And whether it grated or not, tough shit.

wild_quinine wrote:There are at least two solid reasons why I doubt even the pope ever put the cap on a losing argument with the phrase "Jesus Christ but I hate feminists so very very much," and only one of them is the blasphemy.

I wasn't trying to win or lose an argument when I said that. I was stating a fact. If being non-factual wins more grace from you than being factual, your grace isn't something that is worth winning.

wild_quinine wrote:That post was everything Humanism was ever meant to be, and watch as the most active proponent of Humanism on this board takes a huge, manly shit all over it without even stopping to wipe.

You know my philosophy. You know that comments like that are very dickish. Don't be surprised about how I treat you hereafter. Not that I expect you to care, because I'm sure you don't. But keep in mind the reason.

wild_quinine wrote:No, it is *always* about dogma.

You sound so very certain about that. You mock those who are very certain. But I'm sure that you can excuse your own position from that of others... can't you?
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby Senethro on Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:09 pm

RedCelt69 wrote:
wild_quinine wrote:It shows that:

What it actually shows is that I remain tired of pissing in the wind, explaining my position to people who were unable to concede the remotest of ground. G13, from memory, included some anti-male comments in a familiar pattern of feminist tropes, but don't let that put you off from your polishing of her halo.

wild_quinine wrote:OK, so what actually happened was your further criticism of sexual politics in religion finally broke the camel's back.

Riiiight... so, stating a truth broke the camel's back. OK.

wild_quinine wrote:...so much as reacting to the hypocrisy of your position.

Yes. Calling me a hypocrite when I am the very reverse is a very dickish thing to do.

wild_quinine wrote:My regret is not getting carried away today, it is in not getting more carried away at the time, when you made all those obnoxious posts. All I can say is that I had other stuff going on.

I am obnoxious to the obnoxious. I couldn't give a flying fuck that my obnoxiousness peeved you, if the obnoxiousness that I received didn't also peeve you.

wild_quinine wrote:Yes, the Catholic Church discriminates against women. Yes, it's terrible. Yes, they can and should be specifically criticised for it.

But coming from you, that really grates.

It grates coming from someone who is more egalitarian than... you? Or more egalitarian than the people who were obnoxious (yet you weren't peeved at)? Either way, that's your problem. It certainly isn't mine. And whether it grated or not, tough shit.

wild_quinine wrote:There are at least two solid reasons why I doubt even the pope ever put the cap on a losing argument with the phrase "Jesus Christ but I hate feminists so very very much," and only one of them is the blasphemy.

I wasn't trying to win or lose an argument when I said that. I was stating a fact. If being non-factual wins more grace from you than being factual, your grace isn't something that is worth winning.

wild_quinine wrote:That post was everything Humanism was ever meant to be, and watch as the most active proponent of Humanism on this board takes a huge, manly shit all over it without even stopping to wipe.

You know my philosophy. You know that comments like that are very dickish. Don't be surprised about how I treat you hereafter. Not that I expect you to care, because I'm sure you don't. But keep in mind the reason.

wild_quinine wrote:No, it is *always* about dogma.

You sound so very certain about that. You mock those who are very certain. But I'm sure that you can excuse your own position from that of others... can't you?


You didn't argue, you restated your opinions ad nauseum without engaging with anything anyone else in that thread posted, then acted surprised when we continued not to agree with you and concluded we were being deliberately rude. You're doing it again now.

By the way, what have humanists done for minority rights recently?
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby wild_quinine on Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:29 pm

macgamer wrote:How free was I or is anyone in that situation? Mortal sin requires full freedom of action, I'm not sure whether a suicide victim had that.

To be quite fair to RC for a change, despite my baiting you slightly on the topic of Mortal Sin, Catholic doctrine does recognise the point you make.

(No surprise there, I suppose. Do you disagree with the Church on *anything* MG?)

macgamer wrote: That makes me a little sad that you think I'm doing wrong or harm in the world.


Well, I’m sorry, but I really think that’s the case. You need to hear that.

As a disclaimer, yes, there are many, many good Catholics: out of a billion people, you’d have to hope so. And you’re probably one of them, more or less. You seem to follow your conscience right up till it meets your faith, and then you’ll apparently follow that faith to the end of the world. If Catholicism is completely true, then there’s definitely a special slot for you in the dinner rotation.

But it’s almost certainly not completely true, for several reasons, most pertinently that a lot of Catholic doctrine was made up by ordinary, flawed people, which is something you’d conclude even if you believed the Bible was the precise, literal word of God.

So on the matter of Catholic doctrine, while I know that you’re only following orders… see that’s never been much of a defence.

There are *consequences* of the beliefs that you hold, small and large, and you need to accept that some of these consequences are real, and true.

It is possible, even likely that homosexuality is compatible with the word of God as written down in the Christian bible, in a hundred other ways than the narrow way your (admittedly large) sect overinterprets it.

But some significant proportion of a billion people have to deny their essential selves because of this interpretation – their pain, confusion and doubt leading to who knows what other sins, destruction and misery?

It *hurts* to be put in that position. You nearly killed yourself. I respect you for admitting how bad it got, and that's not something I judge you for. But follow the breadcrumbs - millions of other young, gay people probably feel the same. You can’t say that’s not harm as a consequence of faith.

The best you can say, as a Catholic, is that it’s for the greater good. That would be the intellectually honest argument.
But there are a lot of very, very strong counterarguments to this that can be made even from a position of respect for your faith.


macgamer wrote:That quotation from C.S. Lewis had a great impact on me.


I would argue not enough of one.

John 7:24. Still the most under-rated verse in the bible.

macgamer wrote:You'll note that I don't reference the bible much when it comes to homosexuality. I find natural law philosophy convincing, which is appeals to my scientific background.


Your natural law argument is not scientific at all. It’s just… awful. It's one area in which I can't go any distance with you at all, not even hypothetically.

My main problem with it is that you use it precisely to justify what you already believe, and only that. It boils down to “If it’s not natural, don’t do it. But if it’s natural and it’s abhorrent, also don’t do it. For advice on what is actually acceptable, see pre-existing Catholic doctrine.”

It’s not even pseudo-science. It’s meets the very definition of ad hoc.

macgamer wrote:Not for a moment have I thought about joining another denomination. Jesus', 'You are Peter and on this rock I shall build my Church' is pretty convincing to me.


That line is one of the ones that made it over to the Protestant Bible. It's convincing for those guys, too.

macgamer wrote:if I wasn't Catholic I'd be an atheist / agnostic. It's either true or complete nonsense. It's also about humility and faith in the Church.


Heck, my whole problem with Catholicism is that it significantly adds to the theology of Christianity from a decidedly imperfect source, for decidedly imperfect reasons.

Do you hang on to the complete Catholic faith so doggedly only because you're afraid it isn't true? And that, under any real scrutiny, this would be obvious? I agree, that under any real scrutiny parts of it don't hold up.

But people ruin everything, that's my view. If there was one perfectly true religion, it would have been at least a little bit ruined a long time ago.

Look at it this way: God almost certainly accepts imperfect faith. He doesn't even put it at the top of his big three.

macgamer wrote:My Catholicism is my identity, you cannot understand or know me properly unless you have some understanding of Catholicism.


I understand that angle completely. It has always been a terrible justification for doing the wrong thing. This kind of identity to the culture is (literally) pharisaical. It’s such an important point that Jesus Christ himself had stuff to say about it. If you want to identify as a Christian, then you’re committing a categorical error if you place Catholic identity above duty to Christ.

macgamer wrote:It's an intrinsic human need to love and be loved… However, I realise that acting on the sexual impulses won't do me any good. I spoke about the sense of insecurity in masculinity and it is clear to me that having a physical relationship with a man will make that worse, much, much worse. Do I have to have sex to be fully human?


No. I don't mean to tell you how to live, or to suggest that you are necessarily doing the wrong thing by abstaining from sex. It is absolutely a valid choice to live without sex. Whether through faith, for medical reasons, or simply because you want to – the choice is yours, and I respect your right to that choice.

But you do want the sex. And that will get in the way of the other things that you want, at times. And it will be confusing. It’s not something that you’re always going to be able to put into a box. And if you cannot contain, it is better to marry than to burn. Even if you marry a dude.

But, no, you don’t need to have sex to be a whole and validated person. And yes, maybe the sex wouldn't help you, anyway. That's definitely not true for everyone, but it could be true for you.

I know a few people who will never, ever be able to have the sex, or even the kind of life, they would otherwise like to have because of things that have happened to them emotionally. You may even be one of them. Some people are broken. Some damage can never be repaired.

But I think your cultural background did that to you. And I think it did it to you for *no good reason*.

So you’ll pardon me if I pity the suffering, but not the fools.

I also think that in perpetuating a bad meme, you are risking and actually harming other people, as mentioned before.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby RedCelt69 on Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:41 am

wild_quinine wrote:As a disclaimer, yes, there are many, many good Catholics: out of a billion people, you’d have to hope so. And you’re probably one of them, more or less. You seem to follow your conscience right up till it meets your faith, and then you’ll apparently follow that faith to the end of the world. If Catholicism is completely true, then there’s definitely a special slot for you in the dinner rotation.


Image
Hello. My life is nearly at an end. My mother gave me a name, but I can't vocalise words yet - and I won't live long enough to be able to... so my name doesn't matter. I have known nothing but hunger and pain, but soon enough that will be at an end. My birth could have been avoided, if the Catholic sisters that educated my mother's village had also educated them about the practicalities of condom use. But they didn't, because a man who lives far away in a palace of marble and gold says that condoms are unnatural. He is able to say such things because those who follow him see him as infallible and value his word over my life. And other people call some of his followers "good Catholics", and sympathise with the depression and anxiety that they feel regarding the conflict between their sexual preferences and the non-sinful preferences as ordained by the infallible man in the palace of gold and marble. I don't know what depression is. I don't know what my sexuality is. I know what suffering is... and I am one of many. Who suffer. Due to the man in the palace, the people who follow him and the people who sympathise with those who follow him.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby wild_quinine on Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:57 am

RedCelt69 wrote:My birth could have been avoided, if the Catholic sisters that educated my mother's village had also educated them about the practicalities of condom use. But they didn't, because a man who lives far away in a palace of marble and gold says that condoms are unnatural.


I initially wrote a couple of lines about contraception as well, which I agree is one of the more significant areas in which harm is caused by Catholic doctrine. I decided not to include them because I couldn’t do justice to them in a quick overview, and because I thought the argument was tighter where I could show harm in Catholic doctrine relating directly to the matter at hand. But I don’t think we disagree much over this issue.

RedCelt69 wrote: And other people call some of his followers "good Catholics", and sympathise with the depression and anxiety that they feel regarding the conflict between their sexual preferences and the non-sinful preferences as ordained by the infallible man in the palace of gold and marble.


As opposed to… what? *Not* sympathising with people in that situation?

A gay person from a Catholic background doesn’t deserve to be brought up at odds with their nature any more than a starving child deserved to be born to a short life of poverty and brutal hunger.

At most, you can criticise such a person’s unwillingness to engage with the issues after the fact – but where have I not done that?

And it’s not inappropriate to recognise that this is difficult. Even if I was as down on Catholicism as you, I’d recognise that an upbringing is not something that can simply be dropped like a hot stone, just because it’s wrong or inconvenient.

In fact, the damage that can be done to people by obstinately raising them in a way which causes them to suffer for who they are, is part of the very reason many people are against religious upbringings. If a person could simply 'change their mind' later with no fuss at all, the list of objections to religious upbringing would be a lot shorter, I think. So it's just completely disingenous of you to suggest that there's something wrong with sympathising with someone in this position.

Heck, even ignoring any lasting damage, it’s often incredibly hard for people just to admit that they have been wrong about something. Try it yourself some time, you’ll see.

What I must grant you is that there’s a definite separation between ‘good person’ and ‘good catholic’. The two are only identical where Catholicism is true, which as I said is almost certainly not the case.

But I did too much conflate the too ideas before that. So, to clarify, I think MG is a 'good catholic', in as much as that he is (too) faithful, and I think he's probably a 'good person' as far as his catholicism allows him to be, which is not nearly far enough. On that, I should have been a lot clearer.

Whilst I think being morally good and being Catholic are compatible up to a point, there are clearly places where I think that following the doctrine blindly departs from moral goodness for at least two reasons:

a) because following any doctrine blindly almost always leads to a bad outcome (even for very positive doctrines) and as moral agents we have the ability to avoid this.

b) because there are, as I see it, clear examples of Catholic doctrine being way off the wall, outright wrong, and at odds even with its own source material.

And, yes, there are harms which arise from this. Real, significant ones.

RedCelt69 wrote:What it actually shows is that I remain tired of pissing in the wind, explaining my position to people who were unable to concede the remotest of ground.


Are you really that unaware of what you’re saying here?

If anyone was intractable, it was you. Continually, and obtusely.

Plenty of ground was conceded to your points. There was lots of evidence of people giving you the benefit of the doubt. There were plenty of people who liked - or at least respected - parts of your point of view.

But, by contract, *you* wouldn’t take any new ideas on board. You didn't even engage with them to appropriately refute them. And you ended the argument by saying that you hated feminists, and by comparing the people who didn’t completely submit to your superior viewpoint to insects.

Here are a few definitions of a word.

Oxford: having or revealing an obstinate belief in the superiority of one’s own opinions and a prejudiced intolerance of the opinions of others

Websters: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices

Chambers: someone who is persistently prejudiced, especially about religion or politics, and refuses to tolerate the opinions of others

Collins: a person who is intolerant of any ideas other than his or her own, esp on religion, politics, or race

Which word is it?

RedCelt69 wrote:It grates coming from someone who is more egalitarian than... you? Or more egalitarian than the people who were obnoxious (yet you weren't peeved at)?


Egalitarianism is the pursuit of the equality of opportunities, but the questions of which opportunities are available (to all) and whether such provisions as are made do meaningfully provide an equal opportunity, are both vitally important to, and an integral part of, the project as a whole.

If you refuse to listen to minority opinion in your society, even where you happen not to like it, then ‘egalitarianism’ can quickly become nothing more than a tool to maintain the status quo.

RedCelt69 wrote:I wasn't trying to win or lose an argument when I said that. I was stating a fact. If being non-factual wins more grace from you than being factual, your grace isn't something that is worth winning.


If your factual statements include hating feminists for suprious reasons, then your facts aren't worth respecting.

You continued to insist that decent so-called feminists should just identify as humanists instead, but there are multiple pragmatic flaws with this idea, some of which were pointed out to you, and all of which you ignored.

And then you said you hated feminists, even though you hadn’t nearly refuted any the ideas that were put forwards in to suggest why you might be wrong, or at least not wholly correct.

RedCelt69 wrote:
wild_quinine wrote:No, it is *always* about dogma.

You sound so very certain about that. You mock those who are very certain. But I'm sure that you can excuse your own position from that of others... can't you?


I am not one of the great writers of this world. I have a limited vocabulary and little sense of rythym. But one thing that I do well is irony.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby RedCelt69 on Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:52 pm

wild_quinine wrote:Plenty of ground was conceded to your points. There was lots of evidence of people giving you the benefit of the doubt. There were plenty of people who liked - or at least respected - parts of your point of view.

The number of people involved was small - from start to end. Some gave no ground. Some gave a little. All failed to understand the central message... including you if you saw some sort of hypocrisy in anything I said, above. There are different ideas of what humanism is. I painted a picture of mine; one that treats all humans as humans. It is egalitarian, to the extreme, seeing no grounds for discrimination whatsoever. That isn't what feminism is.

I hate feminists just as much as I hate racists and homophobes. They all judge others on a birth-trait, including their own. If you can't understand that (or slip into some backwards position of thinking that I equate all of them to the same degree of intolerance) then you're completely missing the point... which is exactly what most of the contributors did: missed the point.

As much as you admired it, G13's contribution wasn't helpful. I've been on this planet 42 years and I've encountered a shitload more feminist-ideology in that time than you and G13 combined. Some feminists think that other feminists can't be feminists if they don't condemn the sex trade. Others think that you can't be a feminist if you're heterosexual. Others will refuse to acknowledge the existence of male feminists, regardless of how insistent they are, or however many copies of The Guardian they've read. There are all sorts of brands of post-modernists who cling to the label... and it is an isolating one: both against other feminists and against men... but particularly against men. It has a long history of being anti-male and, away from the extremes, excluding men.

I believe women have rights. I believe men have rights. Whether women are more in need of them than men ignores the issue that men do have rights. Feminism ignores that completely. Humanism (as I described it) certainly doesn't.

A couple of weeks ago, during a philosophy lecture, the lecturer included the line "...and I certainly hope that everyone here is a feminist...". Afterwards, I made it very clear that I wasn't a feminist. The knee-jerk reaction of "oh, a misogynist" flickered across their face until I quickly added that I was a humanist. The reaction? An instant recognition of my position and an explanation that the term "feminist" was an old-fashioned one which could be described as "one who believes that women have rights" (which is a country-mile away from the definition that some would apply to the word). It's the same reaction I have most of the time when I explain my position... most people just get it, without any confusion.

On TheSinner, however, I was faced with a small group of people who completely missed the point. And still do. If you condemn me for growing bored of explaining the obvious to (apparent) idiots, then go ahead. I don't care what you think of me, as you obviously don't care what I think of you.

wild_quinine wrote:comparing the people who didn’t completely submit to your superior viewpoint to insects.

Jesus fuck. I didn't explain, because I'd hoped that an explanation wouldn't be needed. If you wonder why I came to the conclusion that I was dealing with people less intelligent than me, you really need to wonder if I had good grounds. If your ego will allow the possibility.

I likened Senethro to a moth; a creature that kept swatting itself against something much brighter than itself... refusing to pay heed to the repeated self-abuse it was inflicting upon itself, while the light bulb kept shining unperturbed. It was a very simple metaphor.

wild_quinine wrote:Here are a few definitions of a word.

None of that applies to me. You might think that it does, and that your position is a stronger one because of it... but it doesn't and it isn't. In a closed environment, one person is going to be more intelligent than everyone else. In that instance, it was me. Bring on fewer fuckwits and I'll happily concede points when such is merited. In that case, it wasn't... and I grew tired of trying to work with poor material in a room where abuse was thrown my way. Abuse that you haven't condemned once, by the way, when you were quick to scorn me for returning it.

C'est la vie.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby Senethro on Tue Mar 27, 2012 3:09 pm

Did you smugly tell everyone else that they shouldn't identify as feminists either and that they should be a humanist like you? Did you tell the lecture room you hated feminists?

Maybe you didn't explain your position clearly. It sounds initially reasonable until you start going on about how other people, particularly those with more experience of being less privileged, don't conform to your superior views.

Pretty much the only way you could think feminism wasn't egalitarian (with a few fringe exceptions) is because you're indoctrinated in the status quo as being fair, causing you to perceive seeking equality as being anti-male.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby wild_quinine on Fri Mar 30, 2012 3:36 pm

RedCelt69 wrote:That isn't what feminism is.


Feminism is predominately defined in terms of the equality of the sexes. Not just ‘slightly concerned with’, but predominately *defined* in those terms. As such, it is *necessarily* concerned with the rights of men.

Don’t believe me? Go check any major dictionary. I guarantee you’ll have to cherry pick like hell to form any other kind of impression.

But that is not only what the word means according to the dictionary. It is also what the word means according everybody else on this forum. It is how it is defined on Wikipedia. It is how it is defined by the Feminist Majority Foundation. Even the main entry on that wretched hive of scum and villainy the *Urban* fucking Dictionary says: “[Feminism] does not only aim to make women equal to men, but all people equal to each other in rights.”

Where are you getting *your* information on Feminism?

Because the only counterexample you’ve offered so far is from your (42 years of) experience, and according to the smartest person on the forum, that’s a lesser form of argument.

RedCelt69 wrote:[RedCelt’s Own Personal Humanism™] is egalitarian, to the extreme, seeing no grounds for discrimination whatsoever.


But regular Humanism is not necessarily so, as you yourself admit. It is usually defined in terms of the prime importance of ‘Human Values’.

If those values happened to include sexist policies, as distinctly Human Values, then that would be A-OK with Humanism as a conceived entity.

Maybe it wouldn’t be OK with most Humanists, but that’s kind of a different thing. It’s more like a lucky coincidence of contemporary social mores that most Humanists are also liberal, and egalitarian, than any defined facet of the movement. Egalitarianism is common within, but not canonical to, Humanism - if you see what I mean.

So, what’s funny here is that you have argued that people who identify as feminists are wrong or stupid for doing so. But actually, when you look at the definitions, you are claiming a lot of personal values under your own Humanist label which are decidedly core to Feminism, but not core to Humanism.

Hey, you can call yourself whatever you like, and I’ll respect your personal label… but I think you know what this looks like.

In fact the only reason I have to think that *other people* wouldn’t label you a Feminist on the basis of your stated views, is the way that you state them: you’re rather too fond of ignoring what Feminists have to say, and hating on them for having a difference of opinion. (What a bunch of bigots!)

That’s where the hypocrisy comes in, in case you wondered.

You’re setting everybody else straight on the issue of equality, without even engaging with what they’re saying, because you’re so completely sure of yourself.

You cannot do this and be part of an actively egalitarian process.

The problem is that presenting a genuine equality of opportunities revolves around a complex set of concerns, not a simple binary selection of rights and privilliges.

If you ignore an alternative, but valid, viewpoint due to your own preconceived notion of what constitutes an equality of opportunity, then you have diminished your own cause as an egalitarian.

This is not to say that there aren’t some invalid positions on equality! That's not to say that all ideas are worth the same!

But by categorically failing to engage with plausible alternative approaches to egalitarian theory, you are risking not only the disenfranchisment and marginilisation of a minority within your set, which in itself might very well be enough to destroy any pretence of equality, but you are also missing opportunties to better understand the nature of equality itself. This kind of development of thought doesn't happen in a vacuum, doesn't happen a priori, no matter how smart you are.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby RedCelt69 on Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:03 am

I'm bored with the discussion (I was bored with it long before the other thread ceased) so I'm unlikely to want to resume it here, now, in an unrelated thread just because you want to resume it. It grated with you because I made a comment about Roman Catholicism creating (or greatly emphasising) a homophobic and sexist society, which is the very reason that macgamer is in such a mess as a human being. He is an advocate of what it is that is fucking his mind; metaphorically, he forged, burnished, polished and attached the chains that bind him. But for some strange reason, you went off on an attack on me for mentioning that. It is reasonable to conclude that (despite everything I've already repeatedly said) you think that I don't have good grounds for speaking up against the suppression of women. And that is a very stupid thing to think, what with me thinking (and loudly stating) that women and men are two sides of the same human-shaped coin.

But you started (and maintain) an attack on my values. Hey ho.

The whole purpose for my creation of a blog was so that I could state my case once, rather than several times. Life is finite. A stated position doesn't need restating every time you encounter someone who disagrees with it.

I've already posted 2 short items on humanism & feminism. I have an uncompleted item on feminism, a very little of which I'll share here. And then you won't get another word out of me on the subject, regardless of what threads you (or anyone like you) hijack. Any questions you see here are rhetorical, because I'm not interested in replying to anything else you have to say on the matter. I wasn't joking when I said I am bored of the discussion (in this place, with these people).

There is no one true clearly-accepted definition of what feminism is; there are different sects of the awful religion. The one core element is female rights (and that is the part I share with them, as does the humanism that I champion). Beyond that, however, if you are trying to claim any other commonly-shared component about what feminists believe, you're going to have a lot of angry feminists jumping up and down on your phallus-worshiping corpse.

Do you think that every woman is a feminist? I mean, disregard that tiny element who would prefer the female role of some Downtown Abbey (pre Emily Pankhurst) institution. In the modern world, amongst women who don't want to be kitchen ornaments or status objects, adorned by rich men... in the modern world of women living normal lives, like any other human... do you think that they are all feminists? The answer is "no, they sure as fuck aren't". Feminism entails so much more - and not universally amongst the practicioners.

The strongest (most loudly heard) feminist voice in my life has been Germaine Greer. However, thinking that her voice is the common feminist voice would be a silly thing to do. She has been told by feminists that she isn't a feminist because she isn't a lesbian. Being in a heterosexual relationship is no better than than a slave-owner agreement with the oppressing gender. But she would say that she is a feminist.

These days, one of the strongest feminist voices (in the UK, at least) is Kat Banyard. G13 had never heard of her, though, so perhaps she isn't as strong a voice as she (yet) would like to be. To Kay Banyard, feminism includes the attack on the sex industry. And... by "sex industry" I'm not on about hardcore porn flicks. A stripper taking her clothes off on a stag night is a violation of women, as it treats women as pure objects - as vessels of flesh, to be treated without respect. She won't use the same words of condemnation about male strippers on a hen night, because... well, I don't know. Why won't she? When she mentions the evils of prostitution, she has a lot to say about women selling their bodies. She says fuck-all about men selling their bodies. For Kat Banyard, everything is female-centric and she will wail at (what she perceives as) the violation of women... and never about the violation of humans. Men don't matter. Some might argue that she isn't speaking out for feminism. Kat Banyard would say that she is.

Produce your own list of feminist voices, if you like. On the St Andrews episode of BBC's Question Time, Janet Street Porter (for the first time in my own memory) actually didn't produce a fly-away comment along the theme of "it's all mens' fault". She is consistently anti-male. Some would argue that being anti-male isn't what feminism is about. Janet would say that it is... or she sure as hell thinks that it is.

This is a tiny proportion of a life-time's witnessing of feminism. But none of this is what feminism actually means, is it? Feminism is about women's rights. Not about men's rights (regardless of what you claim). The rights of men is a by-product of the more savvy feminists who recognise that it is a dangerously empty path they walk, if they don't include the rights of men.

But why call it feminism if it isn't about female rights? According to what you claim, feminism is just as much about male rights as female rights (despite the name). Sure. So White Pride is just as much about black people being proud of who they are?

On a final note...

wild_quinine wrote:It is also what the word means according everybody else on this forum.

Everybody else? On this forum? Really?
1) "Everybody else" didn't get involved in the discussion. Unless you're claiming that the entire body of TheSinner's readership consists of the very few that contributed to that thread. In which case, a lot of you are suffering from extreme cases of MPD... and are (inordinately) fond of looking for accomodation and/or selling things.
2) Argument by numbers

Dictionaries reflect the usage of words in the world, rather than define how words should be used. Else, language has stopped evolving. (it hasn't).

wild_quinine wrote:according to the smartest person on the forum, that’s a lesser form of argument.

Smartest person? On the forum? Really?
I could repeat the above, but I'm hoping that the point has already established itself.

wild_quinine wrote:In fact the only reason I have to think that *other people* wouldn’t label you a Feminist on the basis of your stated views, is the way that you state them: you’re rather too fond of ignoring what Feminists have to say, and hating on them for having a difference of opinion. (What a bunch of bigots!)

That’s where the hypocrisy comes in, in case you wondered.

I don't do hypocrisy. It is a matter of personal pride that my values hold to a high degree of consistency. Not because I set out with consistency as a goal, but because inconsistency means that one of my values needs to be re-addressed. Or abandoned. Truth is much more important than ego... and I'll happily change my mind about anything. It just requires valid and sound reasoning. If you ever find such a thing, be sure to get back to me... rather than misunderstanding me and falsely throwing around labels like "hypocrisy". You dick.

wild_quinine wrote:You’re setting everybody else straight on the issue of equality, without even engaging with what they’re saying, because you’re so completely sure of yourself.

You cannot do this and be part of an actively egalitarian process.

You're on a ship cruising a remote part of the world when a terrible storm wrecks it and leaves you and some of your fellow passengers on a desert island. Contrary to their reported poor financial records (and their lack of a fondness of other parts of the world) all of your fellow survivors were on a BNP-sponsored holiday. They're all members.

Now. No matter how long it takes for you to be rescued, every conversation you have (involving race) results in you claiming that melanin isn't connected to morality and that black people aren't worse than white people. Your fellow survivors disagree every time. Are you engaging with what they have to say? I mean, you're completely sure of yourself, so (according to you) it would be a failing of some sort not to engage with them. Because you're so completely sure of yourself, aren't you?

You're using a strange definition of the word "egalitarian" if you think that I should think that everyone's opinion has equal worth. My interest is in the egalitarianism of our starting-point in life... in ignoring our birth-traits. Or (more accurately) not allowing one person's birth-trait to hold more value than any other person's.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby Senethro on Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:52 pm

Always desperate to get every last word while emphasising his opponents aren't worth engaging with. Using a blog as a pre-emptive last word is a tactic I haven't really encountered elsewhere.

You get that all you're doing is arguing against a very personal redefinition of feminism accompanied by anecdotes, cherrypicked examples and the bizarre belief that this conjured spectre of feminism is persecuting men? Its like your own personal theology thats less relevent and able to be engaged with by people than bloody Aquinas.


WQ: That was kind of sad to watch very specific parts of your post go over his head, but then a lack of self-awareness is a feature of hypocrisy.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby wild_quinine on Sun Apr 01, 2012 5:30 pm

RedCelt, this really *isn't* going anywhere. I feel like you've painted yourself into a corner, but I also feel like you've got a lot of paint and don't mind adding extra coats, and meanwhile everyone else is just watching it dry. And, for what it’s worth, I agree that it’s reached the point where I’m just painting, too.

I still feel like you haven't engaged with the arguments put forwards, by myself or others, but it occurs to me that I haven't really criticised your stated views on Humanism appropriately, either. I've focussed instead on your misconceptions about other movements, and not adequately addressed your purported alternative. Perhaps I'll try to do that, if you think it would be helpful.

In the meantime, I've had a bit of a think about where was the crux point in all of these arguments up until now that leaves me still unsatisfied.

And I think that if I had to boil it down to a single issue, it's the way in which you never directly answered any questions about privileged viewpoints (and correspondingly therefore don't connect this argument to the complexity of egalitarianism).

I think that's why my last post appeared to whoosh past you a bit, but if I just picked up from there we'd keep going around in circles.

So, if you have the strength, let me try to refocus this conversation a little bit, and look specifically at the issue of privilege.

Here’s, roughly, the argument as put forwards:

WQSummary wrote:A majority can assume that the prevalent viewpoint is the appropriate one, to such a degree that they don’t even realise that this viewpoint is a non-neutral position. From a privileged position, it is unfortunately very easy to take some fairly large assumptions as given.

If you’re in a minority, the world can seem to be stacked against you. You will probably be constantly, often incidentally, reminded that you feel a different way to the major demographic. You will probably constantly have to second guess and interpret the daily hum and buzz of the world, to make a living sense of it - or to find your own place in it.


OK. That’s what you didn’t address appropriately, to my mind.

Now in your initial reply to this argument, you assumed that the point of the argument was that, as someone from a strong demographic, there are certain positions that it is unacceptable for you to hold. (I won’t address that issue here, but only because it’s something of a distraction).

The question was actually about whether or not you understand the effect that a privileged position in society can have on the equity of one’s value judgements.

What I think was wrong with your reply wasn’t necessarily the points that you made about your right to hold whatever views you like, but rather that you made a question about the complex nature of equality for minority groups into an answer about your own personal rights. This is probably why the reaction against it was so strong!

As an aid to understanding, let’s turn the whole privilege argument on its head:

Our society is also stacked against young, straight, white men in one important way - they have far less opportunity to consider their place in the world. They have fewer chances to come to understand minority issues. They are not constantly caused to think about what they think, and what others think, and how those things interrelate.

That is not itself a value judgement about social groups. Feminists, LGBT activists, people with disabilities, pensioners – they shouldn't get some kind of free pass, by virtue of their demographic.

But what I am saying is that people who have lived outside of the default position of society are (often!) better able to answer these kinds of questions, because they better understand what they mean, how they mean it, and where they come from. They are likely to have developed insights which are not self evident, or discernable through a purely logical process.

It doesn’t mean that your thoughts are necessarily less valuable, because you have privilege. And it doesn’t mean that there are thoughts you aren’t allowed to think. And it doesn’t mean that you *can’t* understand those issues, either.

But it does mean that it is likely that it would have been harder for you to reach an level of understanding of certain issues - which, in turn, have direct relevance to egalitarianism.

Now, these are actually not concerns that you can’t address.

I feel like arguments could very easily be made by you, to make it clear to people who are concerned with the issue of privilege, how much of that understanding you share.

But in shrugging off such concerns you have made it easier for us to believe that you don’t understand. By inverting the argument and making it about you, you made it easier to believe that you don’t see things from other people’s perspectives. And by then comparing those people to insects and idiots, you made it seem like you didn’t care to try.

And, frankly, I think that’s where it got messy.

So do you understand all of this? If not, please let me know where I have not been sufficiently clear.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby RedCelt69 on Sun Apr 01, 2012 9:51 pm

Why? Give sound and valid reasoning why I should expend even more time explaining my position. To you.

Because, at the moment, I have zero motivation to do so. I've already said that some instantly understand my position; while others don't. Of the few who contributed to the previous discussion, I'll add them to the "didn't understand" pile and move on from there.

I don't have a duty to educate you. There is no pay/reward system. I mean, I hope that my position can be accepted more widely, because the world would be a better place if it rid itself of such illiberal thinking... but I'd sooner work with a bigger audience than the users of TheSinner. But that's for later, when my time at St Andrews is at an end and I can dedicate myself more efficiently to such things. Assuming I can get my writing published. I can but try.

None of what you wrote "wooshed" by me. I understood what you were trying to say and my answer to it has already been given (in the previous thread). I have no desire to repeat myself.

I haven't painted myself into a corner. I'm not in a corner. I'm not in a room. You are the one who is trapped in a room with closed walls. Can you even see the door?
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby The Cellar Bar on Mon Apr 02, 2012 4:10 am

Our society is also stacked against young, straight, white men in one important way - they have far less opportunity to consider their place in the world. They have fewer chances to come to understand minority issues. They are not constantly caused to think about what they think, and what others think, and how those things interrelate.


A statement that surely ranks up there pretty high on the Cartman/Nixon Scale. It reminds me of an episode of "South Park" where Cartman was beside himself with grief and despair on account of the fact that no matter how much he might try and no matter the efforts he might make, he would never be able to be a NASCAR driver. Practically inconsolable, he finally revealed that no matter how hard he might try he would never achieve such a goal.....because he would never be as poor and never be as stupid to fulfill that ambition.

Or Nixon's (in)famous declaration to the people of the United States that he "took full responsibility for the break-in at Watergate....and would leave no stone unturned until the guilty parties were brought to justice"

Starts out meaning one thing....and in one breath converts and twists into quite another.

And so it is with the argument that, reasonably, enough "young white and straight men" are faced with almost unassailable challenges in life. Most readers would take some solace with that observation and bring to mind poor educational opportunities, poor health conditions, poor social opportunities for advancement and perhaps with a straitened social attitude that might hold them back in life no matter how hard they tried. Except that the statement then goes on to argue that this "stacking" apparently consists in not belonging to one particular minority and therefore unable to relate to it in any effective way that might lead to them taking a stand and resolving an issue that seems repugnant or unacceptable to them.

I can't think of any other situation in which that can possibly apply. The argument seems to be that in not being poor, physically or mentally handicapped, living in a war zone, of belonging to an ethnic population that is constantly discrimintated against, they are not in a position to identify the basic injustice of such a situation and be prepared to commit to resolving the issue to the satisfaction or betterment of those directly involved. That no matter how much effort or committment they might make they will constantly remain part of the problem rather than part of the solution.

I've spent a useful(ish) ten minutes or so scouring down definitions of "feminism". I've come across a variety of them which, as you say, rightly focus on the determination to afford to women the same rights enjoyed by men. And you also rightly point to the fact that they also reflect the rights of men. My problem, having sorted out the notion of Cartman and Nixonian thinking, is that sitting within that view of the "rights of men" is a reservation on your part, and certainly of others, that those "rights of men" are unsatisfactory and excessive and should be revised downwards away from some perceived position of ascendancy. Take any of those other issues of race or poverty or health and the one element that relates to all of them is that there are those who perpetrate the "wrongs", those who would seek to end them....and the injustices themselves. There is a target. There is a goal of injustice that can be approached and resolved.

The disinction in terms of "feminism" and "sexual equality" however identifies one of the parties involved as being the perceived target. That these "young straight white men" are the problem and their almost congenital disposition to never ever be able to right their thinking in any constructive way and therefore will remain to the ends of time as the problem. A nice little earner if one is set on making documentaries, writing books and delivering telling arguments against the ills of social injustice but not particularly constructive in achieving an end to the injustices. Especially when some will continue to state, in the face of a great deal of evidence to the contrary, that anyone who might cavil at certain elements of "progress" is as a result of them being "indoctrinated in the status quo as being fair, causing you to perceive seeking equality as being anti-male." Which if suitably repeated as a mantra becomes a "fact" and is perceived as a damning indictment. No matter anyone's efforts to deny it.

And in terms of "feminism"always equating to "egalitarianism". There is a battle of sorts raging in the States right now in which some "feminists" are arguing that the refusal on the part of employers to include contraceptive pills as part of their Health Insurance to women employees in "anti-women" and sexist. That employers are controlling women's fertility and the right to choose when to have children. That this is yet another assault on the Human and other Rights of women and proof that tis is still a mle dominates, anti-woman world in which women can only have a family when men decide and is typical of the chauvanistic, chattle owning state of mind that men have so notably failed to remove from their mind set. (Not honestly) The question would be whether or not, in the spirit of "egalitarianism" whether or not it would be reasonable for instance for men to demand the same rights. To essentially say to their employers, "I have no intention of becoming a father in the near future and I therefore feel it is your responsibility to pay for my condoms".

Or "maternity leave" versus "paternity leave". Is it "egalitarian", is it reasonable to accept the fact that women are entitled under law to take say 11 weeks maternity leave before birth and a total of 52 weeks in all. But men are restricted to something like two weeks in all? Would it be reasonable, in the event of divorce where the woman is the sole earner that a man would be entitled to half of their "estate" and her bank balance on the grounds that he contributed to her success by remaining at home while she worked. Would it be reasonable that on retirement, she would then be liable to pay half of her pension to him on the same grounds. Because both apply in the case of a man working.

Like it or not, there is indeed a wide spectrum of social and political debates that involve the prionciples of "feminism" and I have not yet been able to find too many defining elements that draw all the strands together. 40 plus years of argument and debate and discussion have seen divides and schisms develop between women authors and campaigners as to what "feminism" does actually mean. Go back far enough, and you have no idea the sort of righteous outrage you could generate by stating, as a guy, that you were a feminist. Now, apparently, we have reached a place where everyone is expected to be one on pain of being branded something akin to the anti-Christ if you don't. I can accept the drive towards egalitarianism, of a better developed perception of both the rights of women and the opportunities that they deserve put in front of them. My basic problem probably is that that's because I happen to see them as human beings first. But as a straight white guy, I sure as hell object to the notion that my genetic disposition, in some eyes, makes me part of the problem rather than part of the solution.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby wild_quinine on Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:54 am

The Cellar Bar wrote:
Our society is also stacked against young, straight, white men in one important way - they have far less opportunity to consider their place in the world. They have fewer chances to come to understand minority issues. They are not constantly caused to think about what they think, and what others think, and how those things interrelate.

A statement that surely ranks up there pretty high on the Cartman/Nixon Scale. It reminds me of an episode of "South Park" where Cartman was beside himself with grief and despair on account of the fact that no matter how much he might try and no matter the efforts he might make, he would never be able to be a NASCAR driver. Practically inconsolable, he finally revealed that no matter how hard he might try he would never achieve such a goal.....because he would never be as poor and never be as stupid to fulfill that ambition.

Well, quite. That’s why I introduced that line of argument as ‘an aid to understanding’. It’s not that I think that this, of all things, is the true inequality, and woe, let us resolve it. It was a device of the argument – a way of showing how, specifically in the debate for equality, people from a position of privilege are likely to be at a starting disadvantage. And of course, it’s not intrinsic to the fact that they’re white, or straight, or male. It stems from that position of privilege that they enjoy. And of course, it’s a *starting disadvantage*, not an outright block - it doesn’t mean something like that ‘the value of a man’s opinion is worth less’, period.

I can't think of any other situation in which that can possibly apply. The argument seems to be that in not being poor, physically or mentally handicapped, living in a war zone, of belonging to an ethnic population that is constantly discrimintated against, they are not in a position to identify the basic injustice of such a situation and be prepared to commit to resolving the issue to the satisfaction or betterment of those directly involved.

It doesn't mean people with privilege cannot spot inequalities, or will spot no inequalities. But they will probably spot less of them, may fail to understand the significance of some of them, or may fail to draw other important connections.

There are many daily issues for someone who is, for example, physically disabled which are simply less obvious unless you are facing them daily. And there are many effects and side effects of that kind of casual discrimination which are also non-obvious unless you’ve experienced them.

That doesn’t mean that you can’t understand the issues, from the outside. It just means that it’s harder to do so. And I don’t actually think that this is a terribly controversial point: no more so than the idea that a joiner is likely to be able to build a cupboard faster, and better, than I can.

That no matter how much effort or commitment [the privileged] might make they will constantly remain part of the problem rather than part of the solution.

No, I don’t believe that. The point is that it is likely to be more difficult for people from a privileged position to appreciate some of these issues, and easier for them to be overlooked: not that it can’t be done.

My problem, having sorted out the notion of Cartman and Nixonian thinking, is that sitting within that view of the "rights of men" is a reservation on your part, and certainly of others, that those "rights of men" are unsatisfactory and excessive and should be revised downwards away from some perceived position of ascendancy. Take any of those other issues of race or poverty or health and the one element that relates to all of them is that there are those who perpetrate the "wrongs", those who would seek to end them....and the injustices themselves.

No. Although revising to the lowest denominator may technically be an egalitarian position, it’s not a liberal one, so I don’t personally support it. I think we should work to maximise rights, to the extent that is reasonable.

Some states of affairs obviously are really detrimental to others in this balanced equation, so need to be reigned in: Where it’s purely a question of finite resources, which one party have more of than another, then obviously that needs to be balanced down. But only because there’s no other way to achieve equity.

Where it’s a question of fundamental access to the same opportunities, I personally think that it is more helpful to us if we can open those opportunities up for everyone, not take them away from everyone.

There is a target. There is a goal of injustice that can be approached and resolved. The disinction in terms of "feminism" and "sexual equality" however identifies one of the parties involved as being the perceived target.

Yes. I think that this is an important point.

The constitution of Feminism (mostly women) and the motivation behind Feminism (often discontent with specific inequalities that women are more likely to face) are not significantly in question. That does not mean Feminism is not an egalitarian project. It does not mean that Feminism does not work towards egalitarian goals.

Or, if it does, it means there are NO egalitarian projects. Anywhere.

We are all motivated selfishly. It has been argued, and argued well, that there is no such thing as altruism. I don’t believe that’s necessarily the case, but I do believe that there’s probably no such thing as altruistic motivation. We are *motivated* selfishly, but through the application of reason, we can pursue unselfish ends.

As such, whilst both men and women who identify as Feminists may have been motivated to do so because of something that directly affects them, that would no less be true if they identified as, for example, Humanists. The question is still one of whether they act as good moral agents and of whether they rationally choose to pursue egalitarian goals.

I can’t speak for all those moral agents, but I struggle to think of a movement which has taken more pains to identify egalitarian goals than Feminism.

That these "young straight white men" are the problem and their almost congenital disposition to never ever be able to right their thinking in any constructive way and therefore will remain to the ends of time as the problem

There are some Feminists who believe that. I don’t defend that viewpoint. I don’t think that viewpoint is a core part of Feminism, and I don’t think you can show that viewpoint to be a core part of Feminism.

There is a battle of sorts raging in the States right now in which some "feminists" are arguing that the refusal on the part of employers to include contraceptive pills as part of their Health Insurance to women employees in "anti-women" and sexist.

The formulation of this argument that I think was more important was where there are specific medical conditions that certain contraceptive pills could be used to treat, and that these medications were off the list to those people, because of a blanket ‘no free contraceptives’ rule. That is clearly a poor state of affairs.

That employers are controlling women's fertility and the right to choose when to have children… The question would be whether or not, in the spirit of "egalitarianism" whether or not it would be reasonable for instance for men to demand the same rights. To essentially say to their employers, "I have no intention of becoming a father in the near future and I therefore feel it is your responsibility to pay for my condoms".

This one is a massive can of worms. I don’t think it can easily be used as an example, it would instead be a massive conversation, and a lot of it would be about your economic position. In Scotland, we don’t have to pay for contraceptives explicitly, it comes out of national insurance. I prefer that situation.

Or "maternity leave" versus "paternity leave". Is it "egalitarian", is it reasonable to accept the fact that women are entitled under law to take say 11 weeks maternity leave before birth and a total of 52 weeks in all.

That is another interesting question, although your information is a couple years out of date.

I am currently taking a period of what is known as ‘Additional Paternity Leave’, but is in effect the beginnings of a right to share the Statutory Maternity period.

It will probably always be the case that more women will take long-term Maternity leave than men will take long-term Paternity leave. The egalitarian question was one of whether, when circumstances made it favourable to an individual family, the men would be permitted to do so. And there is a law in place now, which though restricted in some ways, makes this possible to do. And there is a plan to revise and extend this law before 2016.

Now whilst this new law clearly expands parental rights upwards for men, it also has positive effects for women. You should have seen the outrage the law generated amongst small businesses, when it was introduced. It was almost as if they’d constantly been discriminating against women for years, and now didn’t know who to employ… Many of them suggested they would no longer bother to employ people under 40 at all.

Go back far enough, and you have no idea the sort of righteous outrage you could generate by stating, as a guy, that you were a feminist. Now, apparently, we have reached a place where everyone is expected to be one on pain of being branded something akin to the anti-Christ if you don't.

No. I think people should identify however they like, or refuse labels if they want to do so. I personally think that RedCelt’s lecturer saying they ‘hoped everyone was a feminist’ was wrong to do so. The lecturer was almost certainly using this as careless shorthand for ‘hope everyone supports sexual equality’.

I think we should all be concerned with equality, but that doesn’t mean that you need to be in a specific grouping to do so. Although perhaps it’s a mark of progress that the two terms can now be carelessly conflated. As you suggest: memebership of an egalitarian group should not be cause for righteous outrage.
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby Frank on Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:17 pm

I'm not gay. I probably could be (as in I have no objections, it might suit me were it a choice), and as a teenage Catholic it was always something of a vague worry: "But what if I am?". After the tentative advances of many a chap over the years, I can happily (as in with a sigh of relief as it means I don't have to wrangle with it at all) say: no SSA here. It's curious, and I always did wonder whether it'd manifest, but so far there doesn't seem to be much going on there, so to speak.

Hooray for women, as it were. :love:

More to the point though, what Macgamer's saying rings true in a hell of a lot of other ways. Not 'rings true' as in 'therefore is sensible and valid' (as, unfortunately, I think there's some fairly misleading logical avenues being wandered down), but simply rings true to my experience of reconciling the notion and idea of the Church with...broader (err, narrower?) morality.

macgamer wrote:Not for a moment have I thought about joining another denomination. Jesus', 'You are Peter and on this rock I shall build my Church' is pretty convincing to me. No, if I wasn't Catholic I'd be an atheist / agnostic. It's either true or complete nonsense. It's also about humility and faith in the Church. My Catholicism is my identity, you cannot understand or know me properly unless you have some understanding of Catholicism.


Might I draw your attention back to the word Apostate.

It's the worst kind of person, really. It's effectively where I've fallen down to with my religious outlooks over the years. My cultural background, massive portions of my family, most of my day to day phrasing and even my name (especially if we include confirmation names in it!) is inextricably Catholic. My education 'til arriving in St Andrews was overwhelmingly Catholic. To say it's coloured almost everything about me is probably not an understatement.

That said, reconciling a strong (and enthusiastic) Catholic identity growing up with what the inconsistencies of the Church, my family, my own (former) creed 'dictate' (and it is dictate to most people, but even saying 'I subscribe to this creed' doesn't quite capture my earlier views on the creed - it's not a case of 'this is what I've picked', but 'this is it because it is, by definition, all-encompassing').

Or, to put it another way, if it's outside the remit of Catholicism to comment on, it's nothing to do with me. To that odd way I ended up weaving something of an elaborate narrative outlook in trying to force my religion to mesh properly with all other things in life. "God must have a sense of humour" was one of the big 'additions' to my faith. I never viewed the 'personal God' styles are really getting it right. 'Hippy' style pick and mix always frankly disgusted me, the point with the Church is that it is the legacy of the Jesus, the legacy of the Apostles all the way through and down.

Of course, that's what's believed. By 2007 it became far too much to bear, the massive, elaborate house of cards collapsed. I quickly lost faith. Fortunately, I didn't lose my identity.

You can still recognise the origins, the effect, the importance and personal significance of Catholicism, the cultural momentum of it in your life without wholly subscribing and forcing yourself to do the (frankly unnecessary [or should I say 'Frankly unnecessary'? :roll: ] ) mental acrobatics just to justify the facts of your existence (SSA) with vast, Byzantine edifice that's a massive hangover from two-thousand years of other peoples' existence (Church)?

There's a compatibility issue in there and, truth be told, I think Apostasy's the word you're in need of.

Join me, reclaim it. It needn't be complete renunciation of everything, it could be a temporary Heresy until someone on the other side meets you halfway and says "Well, it turns out that accepting SSA isn't the abomination we thought it was". When that happens, you can happily go back to not having to pick & mix your beliefs from the Creed and everything else that followed it.

Corrections have been made in the past. It's not to say that you're in charge of them, but that association with the Church is key. You can renounce parts of it (openly and in dialogue with the church, if you can) and de facto be renouncing the whole of it, but if you're able to recognise what's alright and what's not...I can't see the harm.

So, push comes to shove: good on recognising your own feelings. Don't sweat trying to force the beliefs/facts together -- there're other 'compatibility' issues that are (arguably) much less serious. Eat some fish on a Friday; rebel!

(Though you could consider the various Orthodox churches. Closer ties to Nicaean Creed, at least. The integral problem in belief, early on, for me was "The Creed is fine, it's all this other rubbish [no women priests] that seems odd." Nowadays the Creed itself is a major bugaboo, but not to worry.)
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Re: Gay AND Catholic?

Postby macgamer on Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:51 pm

wild_quinine wrote:(No surprise there, I suppose. Do you disagree with the Church on *anything* MG?)

No significant difference of opinion comes to mind. However, as with the issue of the immorality of homosexual acts and 'disordered' nature of the same-sex attraction, applying it to one's own life without become neurotic about it can take longer. Blessed John Henry Newman's Grammar of Assent[i] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illative_sense gives you an good idea of assenting to things which one does not fully understand.

wild_quinine wrote:It is possible, even likely that homosexuality is compatible with the word of God as written down in the Christian bible, in a hundred other ways than the narrow way your (admittedly large) sect overinterprets it. [...]
Your natural law argument is not scientific at all. It’s just… awful. It's one area in which I can't go any distance with you at all, not even hypothetically.

Catholics and the Orthodox have a different relationship with the Bible than do Protestants. We can't all be a St Jerome and create a concordance of the Bible on the fly. I do not read the Bible as a reference text, but as a record of the divine revelation through which God has made Himself known to us. I look to the Church for moral guidance since it draws its source from philosophy as well scripture.

wild_quinine wrote:But some significant proportion of a billion people have to deny their essential selves because of this interpretation – their pain, confusion and doubt leading to who knows what other sins, destruction and misery?

I'm not denying my 'essential' self. Sexuality is essential to our human nature, but its physical expression is not. The particular direction of my attraction is not essential to me, especially where it goes against the instrinsic function of the physical expression of sexuality.

It is a fallacy to say that if one is not expressing one's sexuality physically one is denying or repressing it. Yes, through denial and repression one can control sexuality, but that is not psychologically healthy. Furthermore, it denies a person the ability to express a deeper love for God and for friends and one's neighbour. I used to be like that, but no longer.

wild_quinine wrote:It *hurts* to be put in that position. You nearly killed yourself. I respect you for admitting how bad it got, and that's not something I judge you for. But follow the breadcrumbs - millions of other young, gay people probably feel the same.

It was painful and I would not wish it on anyone. However, I feel that I'm all the stronger for having gone through that trial. Much good came out of it. My relationship with God, myself and others was completely transformed at the end of it. I'm now equipped to experience human relationships more fully than I ever was able to before.

I'm sure other young people with same-sex attraction experience the same thing. However, I do not think it is possible to avoid the process I went through, but there are ways to reduce the pain. If I felt that I had unconditional love from my family that would have helped. Not having that made it harder, but it meant I had to rely on friends more, which strengthened my friendships. It made me reach out to others. There are two different results, either the young person can adopt a more conventional 'gay' identity or take my route which is to accept human sexuality as single entity, but flawed in different ways in every person.

wild_quinine wrote:You can’t say that’s not harm as a consequence of faith.

My faith didn't 'put' me in that position. I would say that I had a profound rejection of the same-sex attraction because deep down I knew those feelings were discordant with my masculinity. There was 'ego-dystonia'. What has changed is that I realise no amount of denial or repression will help. Instead, peaceful acceptance of the situation with gentle and small steps to affirm my masculinity will help to improve myself esteem and psycho-sexual integrity. This will allow me to feel more secure in my masculinity and benefit from love within close chaste friendships.

Moreover, I see plenty of evidence within myself latent of heterosexuality. I'm not expecting to become 'straight' necessarily, but rather I realise that there is only one human sexuality, which can be purturbed.

wild_quinine wrote:I would argue not enough of one.

John 7:24. Still the most under-rated verse in the bible.

Well you do not have a window into my heart. If you were a close friend or my spiritual director / confessor, then you'd be able to have a greater insight. You call me a Pharisee, hardly original. I've said before that I always try to hope for the best in other people and judge myself as being worse.

wild_quinine wrote:My main problem with it is that you use [natural law] precisely to justify what you already believe, and only that. It boils down to “If it’s not natural, don’t do it. But if it’s natural and it’s abhorrent, also don’t do it. For advice on what is actually acceptable, see pre-existing Catholic doctrine.”

That's not it at all. You are still misunderstanding the use of the word 'natural'. Natural law was what the declaration of independence referred to with, 'We hold these truths to be self-evident'. It is about philosophical form and function.

wild_quinine wrote:Do you hang on to the complete Catholic faith so doggedly only because you're afraid it isn't true? And that, under any real scrutiny, this would be obvious? I agree, that under any real scrutiny parts of it don't hold up.

As Jesus said, 'By their fruits shall you know them.' I also look at the fruits of competing philosophies.

wild_quinine wrote:But people ruin everything, that's my view. If there was one perfectly true religion, it would have been at least a little bit ruined a long time ago.

Despite all that human involvement, and plain incompetence and malice at times, the Church still stands after 2,000 years. As a German bishop retorted to one of the Nazis who threatened to destroy the Church, 'Good luck. We're been trying to do that for almost 2,000 years and not succeeded yet.'

wild_quinine wrote:Look at it this way: God almost certainly accepts imperfect faith. He doesn't even put it at the top of his big three.

I'd agree, but I'm sure He still expects me to try my best.

wild_quinine wrote:I understand that angle completely. It has always been a terrible justification for doing the wrong thing. This kind of identity to the culture is (literally) pharisaical. It’s such an important point that Jesus Christ himself had stuff to say about it. If you want to identify as a Christian, then you’re committing a categorical error if you place Catholic identity above duty to Christ.

Christ founded a Church on the 'rock' of Peter. That is the Church I am faithful to. I have many, many shortcomings as a Christian, by not loving Christ or my neighbour enough or being too focussed on the externals. However, motives can follow actions. Sometimes even the spirit isn't so willing either!

wild_quinine wrote:But you do want the sex. And that will get in the way of the other things that you want, at times. And it will be confusing. It’s not something that you’re always going to be able to put into a box. And if you cannot contain, it is better to marry than to burn. Even if you marry a dude.

I do not need sex to love or be loved. It depends on what you mean by 'want'. When we are hungry we want to eat, but sometimes we want food [i]too
much. The inordinate desires, if given into, are enslaving and when we give way, we hand over our freedom. Yes, I experience lust and fantasies, but that does not mean I want them on a fully conscience level. Call it cognitive-dissonance if you like, but I've decided that despite certain longings, I see what is and is not for my benefit.

wild_quinine wrote:I know a few people who will never, ever be able to have the sex, or even the kind of life, they would otherwise like to have because of things that have happened to them emotionally. You may even be one of them. Some people are broken. Some damage can never be repaired.

There are people like that, yes. The way I see it, we are all 'broken' to one extent or another. Jesus came to heal our brokenness. I've searched myself and concluded that a homosexual expression of my sexuality would make me very unhappy and reverse the progress I have made. I do not see how it would not inflict physical, emotional and spiritual damage.
"Progress should mean that we are always changing the world to fit the vision, instead we are always changing the vision."
- G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy, 1908
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