by ezra on Thu Oct 27, 2005 12:20 pm
I think I'll open a book on this one, with the following odds.
1. Goth squad puts on some eyeshadow and smokes a spliff, furtively, behind the bike sheds. Too stoned and miserable to beat anyone up: 2-1 [favourite]
2. Goths with eyeshadow, metal spikes, and black clothing (no-one told them that black just makes pasty white skin look even pastier - not "more evil and more corpse-like", just pastier) drink a couple of tins of White Lightning behind the bike sheds, mutter threateningly, and move towards the hardware shop to acquire a crowbar. Upon arrival, their anaemic constitution gets the better of them; they decide that they're too tired for pulping people, and settle instead for buying a fifty-pack of medium-sized safety pins, which they proceed to distribute liberally throughout their clothing, earlobes, etc: 6-1
3. Goth gets friends (sorry, 'confederates', or whatever you're supposed to call them) round for a drink and a few tunes, twitches uncontrollably to something with five-minute-long guitar solos, knocks himself out on the speaker: 10-1
4. Goth wakes up in the morning, opens the curtains, sees the sunshine, smiles, cooks a healthy breakfast, decides that there's more to life than listening to some fat old bloke offloading his unspent teen angst into a microphone, sits & reads 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being', goes for a drink, chats up the bartender, and spends the night locked in passionate embraces while Bach plays in the background. No time for pulping: 40-1 [rank outsider]
Gentlemen, place your bets.