by Mark on Tue Mar 18, 2003 3:25 pm
Q)What game do you play with a Wombat?
A) Wom.
Q)What's white and climbs up drainpipes?
A) Incy Wincy Fridge.
Q)What's red and sulks in the corner of the classroom?
A)A naughty bus.
-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Philip Glass.
Q)What do you call two raincoats in a cemetery?
A)Max Bygraves
Two biscuits are sitting on a plate. One turns to the other and says "So, where do you live, then?" The other turns to face him and exclaims "I'm not telling you that! You might nick my washing!"
-Big tampon, medium tampon and small tampon run into each other on the corner of the street. Which one says 'hello' first?
-None, 'cos they're all stuck up cunts.
An old man is going for a walk along a cliff-top path, when he sees a little boy sitting by the edge of the cliff, crying his eyes out. He asks the kid what's the matter. The boy looks up through bleary, tear-stained eyes, and bawls that "I've just seen my whole family fall to their deaths over this cliff! My mam, my dad, my little brother, my Gran...even my dog! They're all lying down there now in a pool of blood!"
The old man smiles wistfully, pulls down his trousers, and says "Well, then, I guess today just isn't your day".
Q)Why do golfers carry a spare jumper?
A)In case it gets cold.
Q)Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field.
That'll do for now.