Assassins 2007: Official Reports Thread

[Amorphous]

(That's right - my first truly awful pun of the game so far. VICTORY!)


Stalking the streets of St Andrews, Ark made his way to Beard's rumoured residence whereabouts and waited.

Time passed. He walked up and down the road for a bit, trying to subtly look into windows on the way past, and then waited some more.

After a certain amount of waiting he concluded that possibly Beard wasn't in and returned to his own residence, taking a lengthy detour through the Bute Building on the way back.

Still no sign of Beard.

Sighing, Ark made his way home properly to do some more plotting.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Wednesday evening.

Slipping through the streets of St Andrews, Ark once more made his way towards the Beard Residence while trying not to look suspicious. Having eventually made it to his destination without getting arrested, he carefully pulled an envelope out of his jacket and pushed it through the letterbox, ensuring first that there were no jagged metal edges that might rip the envelope open by accident. He was determined that no innocent blood should be shed (or poisoned) in this incident.

That done, he tried to leave as quickly as possible without making too much noise on the gravel path. It was a bit of a long-shot but hey, it might work.


Thursday morning.

Checking the doormat with a mixture of curiosity and, after the attempt a few days ago, trepidation, Beard was surprised to see another envelope for her sitting on the ground. Having invested in a pair of rubber gloves since the last time, she picked it up and turned it over in vain hope that the sender might have included a return address. There was no such luck, although it did have a small note saying that the envelope was only to be opened by Beard.

Ah. Definitely one for the 'to be encased in concrete and dropped into the North Sea' pile, then.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Wednesday morning.

Deep within the underground corridors of the Hit Squad, Squad Leader Wild Bill looked at The Big Board with concern and sighed. On it was a vast array of information about targets - photographs, last known place of residence, hobbies and interests, known contacts and so on and so forth. One half, however, had been dominated by a series of letters.

They'd started a few days ago, each written in cut-out newspaper letters and signed with a trio of Xs. The author was almost certainly Aspasia, and automatically Wild Bill's eyes flicked to the action plan elsewhere on the board. With any luck, the letters would soon cease to be an issue.


Wednesday evening found Elite Squaddie Spadge Mince on operations again, this time sitting outside the University's comprehensive gym-and-fitness building.

He was pretending to read a newspaper, having grown tired of the sniper rifle gig, and was acting as both a distraction and as a back-up. If the Hit Squad's man inside had not made a move by the time Aspasia left then Spadge Mince was to help delay her and, if possible, flank her; if the inside man had made an attempt and died in the process than Spadge Mince was to get the job done once and for all.

In the meantime he flicked through the pages of The Chihuahua, St Andrews' best-known and most hard-hitting newspaper, and waited.


Inside the building another squad member (who had been known to joke that he was known as 'Wildcard' in a previous life) lay in wait and tried to look like a staff member. Eventually his opportunity arrived; having tired of playing badminton, or possibly just physically tired, Aspasia was peeling away from the main group with a few friends.

Following them through, Ex-Wildcard waited until the small group had begun to spread out slightly: it was now time. In one smooth movement he reached into his sleeve and hurled a cluster of shuriken into the target's back, causing Aspasia to tumble to the floor instantly.

One of Aspasia's friends whom Ex-Wildcard recognised as Pegasus, himself an ex-assassin, was the first to react. "Aspasia!" he shouted with horror, apparently utterly unaccustomed to seeing dead bodies even taking his brief career as an assassin into account.

Ah. Now might be a good time to make a strategic exit. Charging for the nearest door, Ex-Wildcard managed to dodge Pegasus on the way past and ran outside.

As he sprinted from the exit he gave Spadge Mince a thumbs up on the way by, and Spadge Mince nodded seriously. It was done.


[Disclaimer: I don't work for The Chihuahua. No, really, I don't. None of my friends do either. It just happened to come up in a conversation earlier today.]

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Thursday afternoon.

Sticking to the walls and trying not to be noticed, ever-conscious of the weight of a gun in her pocket, Beard crept around the confines of Albany Park keeping a wary eye out for her target. After a short time of unsuccessful wandering, she figured it might be time to be slightly more pro-active.

Gaining access to the computer room, she scoped out those present and eventually sidled up to the most likely-looking computer user.

"Excuse me," she began in a low voice. The innocent and unsuspecting Gatty resident looked up at her expectantly. "Do you know of a man named... Butler?"

The computer user stared at her in confusion. "Um... no?" he guessed.

Beard nodded to herself and left swiftly without another word.

As the door closed behind her, another computer user in the room reached for their mobile phone. Butler would want to know about this...

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Thursday night.

Stepping into the Main Bar of the Union, Ark was immediately struck with the sensation that something wasn't right. It wasn't the look of the place, or how busy it was, or anything about the staff... his eyes passing over one table briefly, he was realised the source of the off-putting feeling. At the either side of the room, two darkly-clothed individuals were leaning over their drinks and talking in low voices with the air of people who were waiting - no, preparing - for something. As one of them shifted slightly in their seat Ark thought he might have caught a glimpse of a gun holster but it was hard to tell for certain in the gloom. Plans of looking again to make sure were immediately cancelled when one of the two suddenly looked over at him and directed the other one to do the same.

Ark moved away as quickly as he could while still maintaining a 'casual' pace, heading towards the bar. One drink would settle his nerves a bit, and then he could head upstairs.


Reaching the top floor of the Union a while later Ark was alarmed to find another two somewhat-shady looking individuals, also dressed in dark clothing, also studying everyone's faces carefully and also conferring with each other in low voices.

Eep.

Thinking about the situation a little bit more, Ark felt a sudden surge of determination; these people shouldn't pose any threat to him as he'd done nothing wrong. If his target happened to wander past then, well, that might change - they didn't look the sort of people to tolerate murder, or at least murders that they themseves weren't involved in - but he'd have to cross that bridge when he came to it.

Settling into a nearby chair, the only thing that remained for Ark was to keep an eye out for Turnip Farmer Man and hope that he could go there before the four unknowns did.

If he turned up at all.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Friday afternoon (yes, I really did forget about this one for 3 days - my apologies to the individual concerned)

Waiting outside, Ark shuffled around on his feet to try and keep them alive and quickly glanced around him before turning back to the building of interest - hopefully the current location of Penny the Poo Inspector (whose hobbies Ark did not want to give even momentary consideration to), if his painstaking calculations the previous evening had been correct.

As time passed, it was beginning to look more and more like they hadn't.

Sighing, Ark sauntered away to consider his next move.


Friday evening

The next move came fairly quickly; his sauntering took him past the Athletic Union, at which underground rumour had suggested that either Beard or Turnip Farmer Man (or both) might be present. True, there was a chance they'd be armed with bows and arrows which was never really a good sign, but Ark reasoned that for up-close combat he'd probably have the upper hand.

If they were there. They weren't.

Sighing, Ark turned his back and made his way back home. The next scheme would be more successful, he was sure of it.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

[Author's Note: get yourself a cup of tea or something for this one, folks, it's an epic.]


Leaning back in his chair, Hypercube sighed contentedly to himself. The past few days had been remarkably quiet; dull, even. There had been no attempts on his life in days, no suspicious-looking individuals lurking in doorways – it was as if his life an assassin was a distant (if slightly morbid) dream.

In other words, he'd become somewhat complacent. He was not, however, stupid.

Reclining in the Melville Common Room his ears detected the sound of stomping military-issue boots outside in the corridor that was somewhat at odds with the Australian soap opera playing on television. Reaching for his weapon with one hand, he grabbed the arm of the chair with the other and tensed himself for sudden action.

A moment later the door crashed open under the weight of a Hit Squad boot and four figures stormed in, while at the same time Hypercube threw his weight in the opposite direction and pulled the arm chair over with him to duck behind as cover.

The air was filled with bullets as Hypercube hid behind the chair and some of the more sensible, less engrossed Melville residents took to the floor. Spadge Mince, Spider Zakash and Wildcard charged straight towards Hypercube, Spider Zakash bearing a sword and the other two carrying guns, while Seti remained at the back to take a covering position and prepare to give back-up fire.

From behind the overturned armchair Hypercube took a deep breath, peered around, then knelt upright briefly to return fire; the first shot went wide but the second found its mark in the head of Wildcard. Now somewhat without cover, Spider Zakash standing behind his fallen colleague ducked for the nearest chair while Spadge Mince attempted to retreat to a safer position; another well-placed bullet from Hypercube ensured that cover need never be a problem ever again for him.

Ducking back behind the armchair Hypercube reloaded as fast as his fingers would move, hoping while he did so the death of their team-mates would give the two remaining Squad members reason enough to pause. From the sudden silence, feeling very strange after all the noise, it would seemed that Hypercube had been lucky in this regard. Straining his ears, he began to frown; was that the sound of someone trying to crawl forward?

Kneeling upright again into a shooting position, he scanned the scene quickly; there, Spider Zakash was attempting to recover Wildcard's gun. Possibly it was for sentimental value only, but Hypercube doubted it somewhat.

Spider Zakash noticed him drawing aim just in time and managed to roll out of the way, before gamely attempting to deflect bullets with his sword; after several successful rebounds it dawned on him that he was pinned down where he was and wouldn't be able to reach Hypercube with the sword from such a position. If he was going to pose any serious threat, he'd need the gun. Suddenly leaping forward in what he prayed was a good moment, he managed to get his fingers on the gun and then fumbled as he tempted to acquire enough grip to grab the thing properly and get it usable in his hand. Time seemed to slow as at last he moved it into the right position, felt his finger to begin to pressure on the trigger... and then felt nothing at all as Hypercube finally managed to get a steady aim and fired.


Still behind cover at the back of the room, and somewhat shell-shocked at having seen her three team-mates die in almost as many minutes, Seti tried to gather her thoughts. How the hell did someone recover from a situation like this? What were you supposed to do next, how did you move on?

In a moment, the answer dawned on her; you moved on by making sure the person who did it saw justice, which in this instance meant him never seeing another sunrise (or, indeed, another episode of Neighbours) ever again. She carefully crawled over to Spadge Mince's body, maintaining cover all the way, and diligently recovered all the weaponry and ammo she could find; for what she had planned, she'd need a lot.


At the other end of the room Hypercube noticed the more complete silence and didn't like it at all. Slowly, this time, and carefully, he peered over the top of the armchair and surveyed the destruction – he counted three dead squaddies and rather more Melville residents lying face-down on the floor with their hands on their heads waiting for the world to get a little bit less insane. He dimly recalled there being four squaddies at the beginning, so where had the fourth one gone? Not run away, surely?

In an event, he was at a disadvantage; the fourth squaddie knew precisely where Hypercube was while he, on the other hand, knew almost nothing about where the last squaddie remained. Moving would be a good idea, moreso if it improved his view. Gathering his things together he made a sudden run towards the centre of the room to the next closest chair; he made it without incident and realised to his pleasant surprise that the gun Spider Zakash had been reaching before was a) the same calibre as Hypercube's own and b) well-supported by spare ammo in Wildcard's vest, easily within reach from Hypercube's position. Having stocked up, he paused to listen again; still nothing, and the visibility here was worse than it had been at his old chair. Taking a deep breath he charged for nearby cover again, this time getting himself noticed and hearing a bullet chase his path. Ducking behind yet another chair, Hypercube counted to three and then sat up and shot wildly in the direction he hoped the bullet had come from; a tiny movement suggested that someone in that area had ducked for cover also.

Once again he ducked and reloaded, then prepared to crawl to a better position.


Seti was also on the move; a few of the last shots had come too close, and she was determined to see this out for as long as possible. Eventually she made it to a pillar – proper, impenetrable cover – and kept an ear out for sounds of motion. Drawing out a mental map of the room in her head, she imagined a big arrow pointing and saying 'Hypercube Is Here' and tried to aim for the same spot while briefly leaning out from behind the pillar; a male shout suggested she'd been pretty close to the mark.


Lying on his stomach across the way, Hypercube cursed his luck. He'd been too busy taking cover to see where the shots could have come from and, as a result, had no idea where his opponent was. Peeking out from the side, he was after some waiting blessed with good fortune – a motion in the corner of his eye attracted his attention to a pillar behind which someone was apparently reloading. He fired a few shots off in that direction in the vain hope that it might draw them out, the sound of the bullets embedding themselves in the pillar resonating throughout the room.


Hearing the shots collide with her cover, Seti decided she'd had enough. Hypercube shouldn't have had enough time to find new cover so with any luck he'd be in the same place; it was time to finish this once and for all. Taking a fully loaded pistol in each hand, she stepped out from behind her cover and advanced towards her target, shooting with both hands.


Hiding now from what could only be described as a hail of bullets, Hypercube wandered what on earth he was going to do next. Well, if this was a final showdown then there was only one thing for it...

Sitting upright suddenly, he opened fire and hoped that his reactions would somehow be fast enough to duck incoming bullets. After a time the gunshot noises seemed to lessen slightly and then be replaced entirely by the clicking noise of a pistol needing another clip.

Carefully opening his eyes, which he hadn't actually noticed were shut in the first place, Hypercube looked across the way – somehow, miraculously, Seti lay dead on the floor.


With the unsteady gait of someone who can't quite believe what just happened, Hypercube walked over to examine the bodies and then looked around the room at the few remaining Melville residents that hadn't taken the chance to crawl out the door as soon as possible. “You can get ypu now,” he told them in a loud voice. Slowly, they did – except for one.

With concern, Hypercube walked over and poked her gently with a foot. “You alright?” he asked the back of her head. There was no response. Walking to the other side, he opened his mouth to ask another question and then closed it again when he noticed the blood around the neck; no-one with an injury like that could still be alive, not when they'd been lying on the floor without medical attention for the past few minutes. Thinking back he tried to recall how she could have been hit and realised with a start when it must have happened – she was one of the dedicated few who had kept watching television, somehow managing to block out even the sounds of gunfire. And when he'd started firing wildly in the direction of Seti, she'd been facing him.

Oh.

The life of an innocent weighing heavy on his head, Hypercube picked up what remaining supplies there were and bid a quick exit.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Monday night (yes, I'm running late again)

Still guilt-ridden from the incident earlier in the evening, Hypercube was in no mood to go to a party - however, he'd been specifically asked to attend earlier in the week and his absence would lead to questions being asked... questions the police would be very interested in knowing the answers to once they managed to gather a little evidence.

Attempting to put on a normal front, then, Hypercube got himself ready.


A few hours later, lurking in the corner over a glass of whatever kind of alcohol had been immediately available to him, Hypercube reflected that anyone who knew the slightest thing about him would know his behaviour wasn't right. Luckily, however, or perhaps unluckily, he wasn't the only one there to be acting oddly - another guest, whom the host had vaguely described to him as "my cousin's boyfriend's brother-in-law's flatmate... or something", was lurking in the opposite corner in a similar manner to Hypercube and trying not to look like he was carrying a weapon.

Maybe it was for the best. Killing people who wanted to kill him, or would if given half a chance, was one thing but killing an innocent was another thing entirely - possibly it was right that he got taken down for it.

Not that it meant he'd go without even attempting to defend himself.

Judging that he's put in just enough face-time to avoid being shouted at, Hypercube abandoned his drink and, after giving his apologies to the host, left the party altogether. Closing the front door behind him, he was almost totally unsurprised when he heard it open again as he set off down the path.

"You, er, going Melville way?" called an unfamiliar voice.

Hypercube turned to see the cousin's-whatever standing in the doorway looking somewhat shifty. No point in hiding it, really, and if he lied the guy would probably just shoot him from the doorstep here: "Yeah, I live there."

"Cool, I'll come with you," the stranger announced with forced cheer. "You know what it's like at parties where you hardly know anyone..."


Five minutes later Hypercube found himself walking in uncomfortable silence alongside the stranger, the both of them having exhausted such popular Fresher's Week topics as 'what do you study' and 'where are you from'. As they moved into a less well-populated areas where the houses had fewer lights on, the stranger started rustling around in his jacket and Hypercube tensed himself, trying to find his own weapon without making as much of a scene.

He froze instantly on feeling a tip of metal pressed into the temple of his head.

"Hypercube," addressed the stranger, now much more serious in tone. "You're Wanted for the death of an innocent at approximately 5.50pm this evening, the 5th of March."

Hypercube swallowed, and removed his hand from his jacket to show it was empty. "Yes," he agreed.

There was a single gunshot, and Hypercube fell to the ground. Being of a suspicious nature, the stranger rolled him over with a foot and shot him twice more in the chest just to make sure.

That done, the stranger reholstered his weapon and darted back into the shadows.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Tuesday evening.

Somewhere within the confines of the Bute Building, Turnip Farmer Man leaned back in his chair and sighed contently. It had been a relaxing few weeks so far, and it only seemed right to round off the day by checking up on his favourite online newspaper, Turnip Farmer Weekly.

The peace was disturbed by an armoured person, moving too quickly for Turnip Farmer Man to see him clearly, charging in and throwing a dagger at Turnip Farmer Man's neck. The aim was true and it promptly embedded itself there, leaving Turnip Farmer Man to go from 'peaceful' to 'WTF!?' in under a second.

The armoured man nodded to himself with satisfaction and walked out again.

Falling to the floor and clutching at his throat, Turnip Farmer Man looked around the room desperately. There had to be a First Aid kit or something here, right?

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Still Tuesday evening.

Elsewhere in St Andrews, Beard was about to be paid a visit. Answering the insisting ringing of the doorbell, she did what any rational human being – assassin or not – would do when confronted with an armoured man standing on the doorstep; she slammed the door in his face, put on all the locks, then ran away and hid under the bed.

Outside on the doorstep, the armoured Hit Squad member reflected that the incident could have gone better. Oh well – time to find a secluded spot and wait. Beard couldn't hide indoors forever.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Continuing to be Tuesday evening.

In the growing darkness of the St Mary's Quad greenery, one of the squaddies who had been staring at the building for some time frowned with puzzlement. He reached for the radio. "Squad Seven, this is Squad Two, do we have a confirmation on the Turnip Farmer Man kill? Over."

There was the now-familiar crackle of static before the ensuing reply: "Negative, Squad Three left the scene to proceed to second target, over."

Squad Two sighed to himself while looking up at the window in which a silhouette – with some measure of success, against all the odds – appeared to be bandaging his badly injured neck. A moment like this required something profound.

In the darkness behind him, a rather more excitable squaddie who spent too much time playing Time Crisis 2 in the Union crawled forward. "He's... still... aliiiiive!"

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Yet further on Tuesday evening.

In the semi-impenetrable fortress of her room, Beard carefully crawled from her bed to the window. She'd amassed all her various weapons and had decided that if it came to a siege she'd probably do alright.

Easing herself up against the wall slowly, she tried to glance out the window without herself being seen. The street appeared empty, but... wait, what was that? Movement in the bushes? In another other situation she would have dismissed it as the window or a blackbird or some such thing, but as she continued to watch the movement became distinctly man-shaped. In a matter of seconds she drew the window open, aimed, fired, closed the window and dropped to the floor just in case.

The shouting outside, soon followed by some distressed female shouting, suggested that she'd hit a neighbour rather than a Hit Squad man bent on ending Beard's life.

Cursing her luck, Beard made sure all her best weapons were closest to her and hoped for the best.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Even more on Tuesday evening.

Outside the house, not far from where an elderly man had apparently been shot for trimming his hedge, the armoured squaddie came to a decision. He'd seen for himself now why Beard was a menace to society and, more importantly to his immediate situation, she'd just given away her position. Sneaking towards the building carefully he readied his weapons and prepared to storm the entrance. There would be less of the polite approach this time.


Upstairs Beard jumped as she heard the front door cave in under what could only be a lot of force. With a gun in each hand, she strained her ears for any sound of movement downstairs: nothing. Then again, she was in a bad position for hearing downstairs and the sounds of emergency sirens outside weren't helping matters in the least. Slowly she crept forward towards her bedroom door, pausing often to listen for the footsteps of her adversary and trying not to make a sound herself.

Suddenly the bedroom door swung open and slammed against the wall, revealing her unwelcome visitor behind it. Frantically she tried to aim and fire but the first shot went wide and there was no time for a second shot as the stranger marched forward with a knife and stabbed her in the chest, taking the chance to disarm her while she was still somewhat distracted with the pain. Moments later she passed out, never to wake again.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Tuesday night.

Back at the Bute Stake-Out, Wild Bill sighed to himself and grabbed the radio once more. "All teams, this is your Squadron Leader Wild Bill. I'm calling it. He might stay in there all night and we all have other things to be doing. We've left a little present under his car for when he finally leaves and attempts to drive away – we've done all we can for now. All teams fall back, I repeat, all teams fall back. Over."

A string of 'copy that's came back to him almost immediately, with one exception.

Scowling in a mixture of concern and irritation, Wild Bill snatched for the radio again. "Squad Eight, this is Wild Bill, do you copy?"

There was a long pause, and Wild Bill was about to repeat himself when suddenly a response came across, broken and laden with interference. "Wi---- ill, this is -------a-------urrently in purs---- -f----rget... HEY!" The last exclamation was followed by multiple gunshots.

With alarm, Wild Bill started shouting into the radio. "Squad Eight, this is Wild Bill, what's your status?"

There was another long silence and then a remarkably calm voice, now unspoilt by interference: "Wild Bill, this is Squad Eight, target Turnip Farmer Man has been neutralised. Repeat: target has been neutralised. I found him walking the corridors looking for a secret exit. Over."

Wild Bill smiled to himself. "Copy that. Good work."

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Wednesday lunchtime-ish.

Sitting in the sunshine in the Quad, Ark remained peaceful but physically alert as he waited for his target to come by. He had a good feeling about this one. Fish had to swim, birds had to fly, Sustainable Development students had to.. erm... sustainably develop, which meant attending lectures on the subject.

Presently his target did indeed walk through the archway and in a moment Ark went from sitting to charging, with weapon drawn.


Casting a glance around the Quad as he walked through the archway, Butler was - not unreasonably - highly alarmed at the sight of someone advancing on him with a sword at high speed. Bolting towards the nearest building, he tried to dig around in his pencilcase for his weapon and sprint at the same time - if he could just keep ahead, just run slightly faster than his pursuer, just long enough for his fingers to find it... there.

Stopping very suddenly, he span around and brandished the object threateningly and Ark skidded to a halt.

A tense second passed, during which both parties noticed that the object Butler was holding was not, in fact, a knife but instead was an ordinary Biro. It was slightly leaky, but not actually dangerous.

Ah.

In one sudden movement Ark leapt forward and slashed with the sword, catching him across the chest. Dropping the pen, Butler staggered backwards and fell against the wall.

Surveying the damage critically, Ark decided that if he was going to do it he may as well do it properly and stabbed Butler in the abdomen for good measure.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

Taking hold of the battering ram, the captain of the local force shouted to the rest of his men.

"Ready? ...Go!"

The ram slammed down on the doorhandle, doing a lot of damage in the process but bouncing off.

"Again!"

The battering ram rushed forward next door, this time forcing through the handle but still leaving the locking mechanism comparatively intact.

"Again!"

The third hit finished the job, obliterating the door lock utterly.

Kicking the door open, the group captain looked in suspiciously. The curtains were drawn and the room was utterly dark, save for the little light coming through the newly-opened door and the eerie blue glow of a computer screen. As he stepped forward the screen refreshed itself, attracting his attention further: the monitor displayed a page full of unread emails, from people wanting to know why the owner hadn't turned up to such-and-such a meeting or asking if they were going to a class tomorrow or - oddly - saying something about targets.

There was a faint clicking noise as one of the other men found the light switch, followed almost immediately by a collection of less-than-manly yelps.

Bracing himself, the group captain turned and did well not to yelp himself - there, lying on the bed, was a dead girl. The group captain was no forensic but at a guess she'd been there for days, if not weeks.

The group captain thought quickly. Bursting the door open would have attracted the attention of neighbours, as would their big black van outside. If they wanted to keep things contained, they'd have to move fast.

"Get the kit out of the van," he ordered the nearest available person. "We're taking her with us."

As the first person nodded and ran off, the group captain was already addressing a second man. "Get into the communications system and make sure no-one's called the emergency services. We can't have the police finding out about this."

As the second man left, a third approached the captain. "Sir... this isn't Hit Squad work. There's no sign of a struggle, no blood..."

"I know," the group captain interrupted him. "It's something Other." He turned to face the concerned underling and, for the first time, smiled. "But that's what we're here for, right?"

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.