Chit Chattan - Quotes

[Cain]

Chit Chattan - Quotes
There's only been two issues of Chit Chattan proper (not counting bejants' guides) released in the whole time i've been here. Since it can be such a hassle to get arses in gear to get submissions, get things printed, and so on, the sinner version is a good idea.

But... there was more to chit chattan than just gossip. there was the "quotes hopelessly taken out of context by people with dirty minds, and are therefore funny" (or maybe it was just called the quote section).

Here's your starter for ten:

Andrew - Kids' asses are too small.

[hr]It's now who you know, it's who who you know knows

[hopie's sister]

a comment was made by miss barros that she enjoyed going down.

it was made in reference to stairs but funny nonetheless.

[Cain]

Rachel Oh great; now my hands smell of penis.

[Cain]

Jessie - Wakefield? That's just like Pasadena!

[hr]
It's not who you know, it's who who you know knows

[a kela]

A conversation overheard between a pair of young medics returning from lectures:
medic #1: "Do you like it in the Bute?"
medic #2: "God-- I like it in the Bute so much. You can take me in the Bute anytime you want to."

[a kela]

Here's an old one:

"Andy": I like to screw!
"Jessica": If you want something to screw, come up to my room.

(they were talking about an actual screwdriver and a set of drawers, and somehow they didn't even see the hilarity of their conversation until someone pointed it out to them)

[Cain]

Jules - And thought... I'm not going to come first, so I'll pull out

[hr]
It's not who you know, it's who who you know knows

[Cain]

Cain, to Hopie: You're hot; you have hot hands.

[piglett]

"you're just too big, you'll have to go and burst yourself"

[Zombie Sheep]

How about today at dinner - "I'd do a good looking girl, if I could find one" (by a girl)

[hr]http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~snpsoc

[liliputian]

in a similar vein...

[s]source undisclosed[/s] "I would if she was male..."

[o_t4ng]

Jessie: I'm brilliant at sucking!!

(Yes really)

[little headache]

Night Porter Rachel: "I'm going to get off... with you two."

Ross: "I had such a vivid dream last night *points to Duncan*... about you."

"I'll leave here with a long-term husband."

[Tweedle-Dum]

[s]liliputian wrote on 10:53, 25th Nov 2004:
in a similar vein...

[s]source undisclosed[/s] "I would if she was male..."




That had to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

[a kela]

Sonia:
"I have penis hands; if I were a lesbian, the girls would be lucky."

[o_t4ng]

Andrew (re: Duncan)- "I think I'm actually going to try and rape him."

Oh, dear.....................

[Cain]

Cain, wearing his moderator hat - If you are going to refernce somebody else on this thread, make sure that they know that they are going to quoted, and get permission from them; it's just good form.

Also, things are funnier if they're qoted as is, rather than an amalgamation of words pieced together to wilfully misinterpret somebody's comments.

[little headache]

Adrian: "Can I be a lesbian too?"

[Akasha]

why is everyone talking about lesbians?

[lueez]

paranoid are we?! lol

Angus (in the Kitchens) "I like the dirty end"