anja will prove that lobsters are immortal if they arent injured or diseased, and will harness this gene-tech to develop better and better re-jun make up and she will become stupidly rich, but will always long for those simple days of telling everyone in hall to "fuck off" and "shut up".
kylie will use this treatment to rejuvenate her bowel and be able to eat wheat again.
because kylie can eat wheat, her interest in politics will subside whilst she becomes a grain tycoon and moves to states (though she will retain her green and lefty sympathies and donate vast quantities of food to starving nations)
the ensuing political vacuum will be filled by Nick McGlynn and his army of japs... they will rise to power and smash the fascist state run by messrs blincow, welshboy and akasha.
the japs will all move to glasgow which will be known as 'paradise' for evermore in japanese culture - the poor diet of the natives means they dont feel short, and there is a vast supply of stupid dirty gaijin to kick the living shit out of. eventually the japanese will believe that when they die they are reborn as glaswegians, as these are the "perfect" form of japanese - they speak in comprehensible, are short, eat lots of fish, are violent... BUT have larger caucasian penises.
louise hallman will quit her job as middle east correspondant to the telegraph and leave the middle east disatisfied... upon her chance return to see old uni friends at st andrews they decide on a whim to visit the new japanese state of Dalriada in the west of scotland.
this band of mighty renegade middle aged dissatisfied divorcees: hallman the former journalist; lily the former head of prisons in the state of Utah; seth/katie (yes, by now they truly ARE one being in an akira stylee) the former professional hairproduct experimentee; jules, the former drunkard (now professor of hip at the college of street in the university of life..... okokokok! he's a rentboy in edinburgh, ok?!); and fergus the crestfallen onehit wonder guitarist.
this group makes the perilous trek to glasgow and intend to reclaim dalriada as scottish british and european.
instead, louise is elevated to godhood amongst the STILL height senstive japs, lily is cremated by a plasma bomb for being chinese (sorry - but you know those japs!) seth/katie, who prefers to be known as MECAZORD decide to get evil on the japs and ends up fighting MIDGITUZO (louise the demigod) and jules and fergus end up setting up a sushi bar with a nice western twist that really draws the japanese crowds and become celebs in their own right in a richard branson stylee.
seeing his old friends torn apart by the fates, phil the treehugging nut - {{{erstwhilst president of the union of scientific states (the usa broke down into 4 power blokes in 2024 after the infamous "ice-cream bar incident - see Hemetic Differentiate book 3, "the mark of times" - these being the hispanic peoples american republica in the south east; the christain federation, in the obvious areas; the free peoples democracy (oiriental dominated west coast) and the union of scientific states in the north east}}}}
anyway, our old chap phil decides to go nuclear on the japs in scotland, but the day before he decides to strike he is invited to dinner in ayshire, in dalriada by an old friend and sparing partner David Sharp...
Davud, a known jap sympathiser, (and head of the new dalriadan defence force) convinces phil that the fusion of japs and wegies is in fact a good thing,
and together they go off righting wrongs and killing foreigners.
the USS and dalriada eventually force changes to the UN so that it has its own military and the ability and will to enforce international laws.
this mis guided act of global charity ends up with david blincow, bitter after all these years ceasing control of the UN's beaurocratic machinary and laying martial law on the world, creating a world state.
the dalriadan/USS axis are the last to fall to global blincowism.
30 years after they fall, blincow reveals his true nature to the captured enemies (still alive cos torture IS fun) - Sharp, Phil, Beth and Fergus (still mourning the loss of his good mate Jules - terrible thing blowfish poisoning) are stunned to discover that Blincow is not really blincow - the real blincow killed himself in what seemed honourable suicide after he was ousted, but in fact he was just fucking about with a pool cue and messed up big time.
blincow that took over the world was in fact the amalgam of MECAZORD and MIDGITUZO (demigod louise and katie/seth) she explained that global governance was for the best and that she deliberately made herself hated world wide so that when phil lead the counter revolution and re-instated worldwide scientific dalriadanism, the globe would embrace it!
so, louise/seth/katie made their peace with the world, and moved onto another realm of existence, phil and comrades rediscovered the old cell of Nick MyGlynn and invited him to be cultural pan-golbal secretary in the new government, - fregus become the greatest media mogul of all time with his own personal brand of himself playing guitar oin all tv stations for ever, beth found true love despite never having thought it existed and retires rich and happy.
And what of David Sharp? well i would tell you, but you'd never believe me.
disclaimer - i am not a racist, just a fantasist with a bizarre sense of humour and bad spelling... sorry for any offence caused - all was intended in good humour.
and i would actually LOVE it if the japanese and scots joined - that would rock. seriously it would.
[hr]
"Nazis! I hate those guys!"