Parents

[Anon]

Hi everyone,
I'm coming to St Andrews in September from London and I'm not sure whether I should bring my parents with me or not. The thing is that I think my parents will sort of hinder me making friends because I feel quite awkward meeting new people in front of them as they can act quite odd. I also get the impression they would want to stay for ages to help me unpack and that my mother will cry ridiculously.

I was thinking of coming to Edinburgh with them and then getting the university coach service on my own to St Andrews.
Does everyone bring their parents with them? Will I be the only one on my own?!! Any ideas?

[maenad]

I have at least one parent up at the start and end of the year because I live at home during the summer and my parents are kind enough to drive my stuff up and down the country. Most people seemed to have parents with them at the start of my first year but they (or at least mine) stay only one night. And it's not like they trail you round all the freshers' week activities!

They might be kind of hurt if you let them come all the way up to Edinburgh but don't let them actually see where you'll be living. If you don't want them there at all I'd talk to them about independence etc. and do the whole journey alone. Otherwise, if you're in uni accommodation tell them they'd have to book a B&B/hotel, which is expensive, so they should only stay one night. If you arrive in the afternoon and they leave the next day they're not going to be there long at all.

[hr]

Tommy can you hear me?

[Bizarre Atheist]

Agreed. One night is reasonable, normal etc. They'll also be handy for buying all the stuff you forgot to bring with you - but get in there quick cos Woolworths clears out fast!

Put your foot down if they try and buy Bop tickets, though.

[hr]

http://www.charities-campaign.org.uk

[unregistered]

Quoting Anon from 00:27, 21st Aug 2007
Hi everyone,
I'm coming to St Andrews in September from London and I'm not sure whether I should bring my parents with me or not. The thing is that I think my parents will sort of hinder me making friends because I feel quite awkward meeting new people in front of them as they can act quite odd. I also get the impression they would want to stay for ages to help me unpack and that my mother will cry ridiculously.

I was thinking of coming to Edinburgh with them and then getting the university coach service on my own to St Andrews.
Does everyone bring their parents with them? Will I be the only one on my own?!! Any ideas?

It's not as if they will trail you all freshers week....

[DrAlex]

Enjoy dining out on their dollar, it's a rare luxury!

[hr]

The Sinner: Where no one ever learned "if you haven't got any thing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

[steerpike]

seems to be a consensus developing here...

When i first came to st andrews, my parents were only around for one night and that worked out fine. They helped me unload my things, met my roommate, spoke to some other parents and then disappeared off by dinnertime leaving me to meet people in my hall. I think we met for lunch the next day and then they left town soon after.

Day one at university should be your day - your graduation day will be when the parents can claim you back, cry over you in public etc. Enjoy yourself:)

[rob 'f*ck off' wine boy]

seems to be a consensus developing here...

When i first came to st andrews, my parents were only around for one night and that worked out fine. They helped me unload my things, met my roommate, spoke to some other parents and then disappeared off by dinnertime leaving me to meet people in my hall. I think we met for lunch the next day and then they left town soon after.

Day one at university should be your day - your graduation day will be when the parents can claim you back, cry over you in public etc. Enjoy yourself:)

[box_of_delights]

My parents drove up from Wales in tandem with me on the first Saturday (they made me drive in front so that I could remember my own way for the future) and they helped me unpack everything bar the kitchen sink that I had brought with me.

But they left Melville immediately after that - probably no more than 30 mins after arriving. I had lived away from home on my gap year previously so they knew how important it is for parents to "fuck off" in the nicest possible sense and let us get on with life. In any case, they were staying with friends in Edinburgh that night and coming back to St Andrews the next day for the parents' thing with the Principal. In fact, that is something you may want to bear in mind, that there is a talk/reception for new parents on the Sunday in Lower College Hall, which if they want to attend may mean they hang around you longer than you want them. If they don't get the hint, then I would kindly tell them to go off around town themselves and let you get on with the business of making friends. If your parents are like mine and were quite happy not to see me at all on the Sunday then you're sorted. Say goodbye until Christmas

I've seen examples of parents who go out with their kids on the first night (or even first few nights) of Freshers Week and I cannot for the life of me fathom it. Why would any parent or student think it wise to not take part in any of the bonding activities that go on? I can understand some parents might have come from afar, but surely there are ways around having them spend all the time together.

[hr]

[s]http://standrews.facebook.com/profile.php?id=37101440&pwstdfy=c9c14f50e63e4951ba5a9abb7ffcdc6e

[orudge]

Indeed, if you're coming from afar with parents, it may be worth coming a few days early and staying in a B&B or similar - do all the touristy stuff with your parents before freshers week starts, then do your own thing from then on.

[hr]

http://www.owenrudge.net/
http://standrews.facebook.com/profile.php?id=37103734

[UanarchyK]

As has been said, you'll probably be better off without parents around during Freshers. Explain the whole bit about independence and experience, blah blah blah, and should they be adamant about sticking around... Well, you'll have to shoot them. I don't mean murder, but just seriously maim them enough that they'll know how serious and committed you are to starting your independent life at Uni.

[777]

Suggest that they spend lots of money on you the whole time they are in town, they will soon want to leave.