meeting an ex fiance and his new wife

[rae]

Right, here's the story. Over 2.5 years ago, I broke up with the guy I'd been with for 2 years who I'd also been engaged to for a few months. Called off the wedding and 4 days later hopped on a plane and moved to Scotland. Saw him 3 months later when I went home for Christmas - it was emotional and very difficult. Not seen him since (over two years now). We kept in very loose contact and in December of 2003, despite telling me as recently as August of that year that he loved me, he got engaged and married in July 2004.

Now he and his wife (who I knew before she knew him - didn't like her then, don't like her now!) are coming from Canada to Edinburgh for a night. They want to meet up. They are clearly NOT staying at my flat but what do I do? I don't care about him anymore but I don't really want to spend a whole night watching the two of them (with her trying to show how great she is) when my boyfriend is in Australia so I can't even bring a date! I don't think I can get out of meeting them altogether so any advice on how to handle the situation so I don't feel like a completely inferior loser?

[munchingfoo]

Shotgun, or sword for the more gorey effect.

[hr]I have made my site work again, so feel free to have a look.

My website:
http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~ag56/

[flossy]

Feign chickenpox.
Or bring a friend along so you can roll eyes at one another when she tries to be good girlfriend-y.

[hr]Fare thee well eyebrows

[Jesser]

Right, contrary to popular belief every day of yourlife does not have to be an episode of eastenders, tell the dude you just dont give a **** and aren't interested in meeting him. There you go, continue with an easy life and chill.

[johness]

Yeah, you don't have to go meet them at all. What do you have to prove, what does he have to prove? Perhaps its time you just shunned him.

[hr][s]I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you, maddening yet constant Julius, you're no monkey, no matter what Paul Frank says.[/s]

[Robo]

if u havent really been in touch, and splitting up was abit messy, it sounds like an absolutely terrible idea to meet up. if u want to keep in contact, use e-mail until u feel u wud be totally comfortable to meet up.

[hr]"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." --Bertrand Russell

"There's not a doubt in my mind." --George W. Bush

[Al]

Why not gather a group of your Edinburgh friends together and go out en masse? That way, you can meet them and so avoid being rude, you're not just with them, and you get to show them just how many people you know...

[hr]Life is too important to be taken seriously.

[Happy-Go-Lucky]

Hire yourself an unbelievably gorgeous guy to escort you out with them and act or loved up in a truely hand-me-a-bucket sickly way. Or, you could go one step further, and hire yourself an unbelievably gorgeous woman to escort you.

[flossy]

If you haven't talked to him for ages, it seems like he's trying to prove something to you. I feel sorry for his wife if he's being that petty.

[hr]Fare thee well eyebrows

[papercutheart]

Well if it's you that dumped him then I say go meet him and I hope you feel miserable...

[Rrrr]

[s]johness wrote on 16:16, 26th Feb 2005:
Yeah, you don't have to go meet them at all. What do you have to prove, what does [i]he have to prove? Perhaps its time you just shunned him.
[/i]

Good point!
Maybe also point out to him, as you politely refuse to meet him, that he obviously hasn't thought about how you'd feel about this meeting.
It's a bit "see me and my lovely new wife"


[hr]
Splat!

[rae]

He told me that they're coming to Edinburgh specifically to see me...which makes me feel like I should go out. I suppose that it's not that unusual a situation but i do feel like he's trying to prove something, and I just feel like I'll be fake no matter what approach I take. Either I'm friendly and buddy-buddy (false), I make out how brilliant everything is for me (not entirely true), or I'm aloof and cool (bitchy). Ach well. Thanks for the advice. I suppose I don't have to make an East Enders episode of it. I should just look at it as dinner with a couple of people from home.

[Aureliano]

If they're flying all the way over just to see you, then it's clearly a big gesture. Now whether this is to mainly satisfy their own needs for peace of mind (please forgive the expression, but tying up loose ends), or whether they actually care about reaching out... who knows?

Go along to dinner, I say. You may have a wonderful evening. If they do act like complete gits, and you didn't really like her before anyway and are over him, then all you have to put up with is a ruined evening and a waste of your time.
And in that scenario, you could always politely excuse yourself, do a dine 'n dash, and leave them with the bill! Muahahaha!

[MadDog20/20]

Spend the whole evening telling them about all the wicked Scottish loving you've been getting

[hr]"I love you MadDog, you have a great attitude towards women."
IMAGE:www.st-and.ac.uk/~gfm2/steph.jpg
"Thanks Steph!"