Any advice? I'm so tired.

[mousehouse24h]

Hi, My fiancee and I are both from foreign country, and we decide to marry next month. The wedding is small and our parents won't atend it. But now I'm in deep stress and I feel tired. I don't have savings as I am still a student. All the money I spend has to be asked for from my parents. So I want a reasonable spending on the wedding. Any advice can be given to me with repect to the following issues.

We change the marriage date from Saturday to Friday beacause the charge of the civil marriage will drop from £240 to £180. However fiancee's mother is very upset about it. She thinks that date should not change.

Fiancee's mother demands the wedding ring, the necklace and the earring for her daugher. I wonder if the necklace and the earing are essential for the wedding.

My budget for the wedding ring is £300 maximum. But my fiancee likes rings which are at least £1000.

My fiancee does not agree to use the necklace which I bought this February. She asks for a new one.

My fiancee wants the wedding to be photographed by a professional photographer. The charge of photography is £300 for 2.5 hours.

[fluffy]

Is your fiancee a student too?

Have you explained the situation properly? It sounds like too much is being asked from you, which you are currently unable to provide.

Perhaps suggest a temporary postponement of the wedding until you can afford to meet the demands of the in-laws. If they realise it's getting their own way or getting the wedding on time, perhaps they will realise you really do have no money.

Otherwise, you may have to bite the bullet and speak to your parents.

I don't know anything about the kind of culture you come from, and what may or may not be acceptable in your culture, but if you really can't afford to meet their demands, you just can't afford to and they will have to put up with it.

Your wedding day is just one day, not the rest of your life, remember that.

[cupoftea]

Hi there

I have some ideas to help you save money on your wedding as I am experienced in the wedding industry and am also a student so I know how to create a beautiful wedding on a budget. I can access very inexpensive wedding photography, a beautiful dress if you need one and can even loan our wedding decorations. I know a family who also cater for various other things such as make-up, cakes etc. It need not cost a lot of money.

Please send me an email on gf48@st-andrews.ac.uk and I'd be delighted to help where I can.

With best wishes

Gillian

[maxray]

By the way I am pretty serious about doing wedding photography for free (well, as long as it does not affect my studies much). I am not that much of a professional photographer, but I sure know how to make boring technically near-perfect photographs — just what every wedding needs.

[mousehouse24h]

Thank you for those guys who give me advice.

I don't have much choice. I cannot postpone the wedding using the lack of money as an excuse. In our culture, a bridegroom is expected to ask for money from his parents if he doesn't have enough money. Normally bridegroom's family spend about £10k-20k on the son's wedding. Apart from that, they also have to prepare a new flat for newlyweds, which costs £100k plus. By comparison, my fiancee's family is not demanding honestly.

The problems come from me. I feel bad about asking for money from my parents. Spending minimum money on the wedding will make me less guilty.

I have to choose compromise with my fiancee. Actually I quarreled with her almost every day during the past 10 days and I'm sick of it. I changed the date of wedding from a weekday to Saturday costing me £270. It would have charged me £180 if we had chosen a weekday. Yesterday, both of us went to Dundee for shopping. I paid £449 for her ring and £99 for my ring. I also bought her earrings for £40 even though she hasn't had her ears pierced. I didn't buy a necklace as eventually she agreed to use the existing one. However, she is still not very happy. She thinks that the ring and earrings are too cheap and told me that her mother will criticise her if she knows the prices.

Today she took me to meet photographers who are a couple. After showing the samples of wedding pictures, the couple wanted us to pay £200 as a deposit to secure the day. I wished her to consider for two days before paid the deposit. But she paid it outright and then asked me to pay her back later as well as the outstanding balance. When I asked her if we can share the expense, she cried and we quarreled again.

I'm in dilemma. I feel that I'm forced to go ahead.

[Dresses]

Hi there
Do you have a wedding dress yet? I have a wedding dress store based in my office in St Andrews. They cost between £300 and £450 for designer dresses.