Why are nice girls never available?

[ConspiracyTheorist]

Why don't they get together?


'Cause this is my bloody thread and I feel entitled to any linen it sews!!!!

[Thalia]

Linen? Odd phrase.

But calling women skanks when trying to endear yourself to the sinner at large probably isn't going to get you much And before you say you were justified - i don't think if a girl came on complaining that all the men she met were wankers, that she would necessarily get much interest either.

Good attempt to get the personals board working towards its purpose, What?, but like i said before, i'm not really looking. Relationships are stressful and generally more effort than they're worth. It would take a pretty damn amazing guy to change my mind about that at this stage in my life

[Delts]

Thalia, I thought I met you back in freshers week? Surely that meeting would have changed your mind in an instant

Oh yeah, I forgot about what happened later that night...

[Guest]

I'm guessing that it's probably the fact that a lot of nice girls are generally the ones that don't draw attention to themselves through their materialistic conversations that mean you've got this image of the girls in St Andrews - it's not that St Andrews' girls are all annoying and materialistic, just that they tend to be a bit more noticeable. It's far easier for someone who's a bit more quiet and shy to be a bit intimidated by someone talking about how Daddy flew them to Milan to buy her ball dress. Sometimes to find the good people it just takes looking a bit harder past all of those kind of people.
Although don't get me wrong, not all chatty people are like that - I have loads of friends who are really chatty and at the same time absolutely lovely!
And yes, confidence is great in a guy, but as someone who's pretty shy herself I can say that I find the quieter guys just as attractive - it's about personality, and as long as you have enough confidence that a girl can see your personality then it shouldn't matter whether you're shy or confident.

[beeny]

OP, no offence to you but you're not exactly coming across like a great catch. You say all the girls you meet are 'materialistic' and 'skanky' and 'two-faced'. Here you are, hiding behind an unreg name bitching about some girl in the street after intruding upon her conversation (even if it was loud enough for you to easily hear). Stinks a bit of hypocrisy to me.

Also, the fact that you seem to think 'nice girls' are the ones you've seen in your tutorials who look pretty makes you sound a little shallow and desperate. Get out there, meet girls, talk to girls (not just the ones who look like they've spent £500 of daddy's money, and 6 hours that morning, getting ready) and you'll probably find someone nice. It's not all just about appearance.

Having said all of this though, I can understand the frustration, the guys I have met in St Andrews have on the whole been immature, cocky, not particularly interesting and pretty self-absorbed. Maybe I've just had bad luck but I do think St Andrews generally attracts a certain type of people who are not exactly of my palate. My ex (a fellow student) was one of the most immature and insensitive boys I have ever met and damn near put me off guys for some time. My current relationship feels much much saner, and I can actually engage on some kind of *intellectual* level with my boyfriend. (And he's an Aberdeen graduate who doesn't live in this pathetic, closeted little town which is a huge bonus.)

In summary, try not to get disheartened, realise that a relationship is not the be-all-and-end-all ,and maybe cast your net a little further OP

[colleenie]

I'm not going to get into this conversation deeply or philosophically, though I do have quite a few thoughts on the subject, I just thought I'd let you know, conspiracytheorist, that the nice girls of st. andrews are thinking the exact same thing about the men of st. andrews! I think they may be on the verge of extinction, but it's just something we'll have to deal with until that inevitable person comes along to change our minds! So chin up! There are tons of us in that same frustrating boat, it's just too bad that we can't find each other!

[theshadowhost]

sounds like OP is setting standards to high. try going for the girls who would match you, ie go by what they look like (look like as in how they act, how they wear they're clothes, not look like as in attractiveness)

i imagine someone who considers herself a nice girl wear converse, jeans and likes hanging out with friends in the pub and the only difference to the "nice guy" is that she isnt necessarily looking to meet someone. after all since when should being nice have ANYTHING TO DO WITH GETTING LAID/ finding a partner? nice people are just happy being nice and in their surroundings.

people who whine about not getting any seem desperate, and that "i'm a nice guy" stuff is utter bullshit. you have to be depressed to not view yourself as nice - everyone views themselves as nice; even those who end up cheating as OP describes. so you could say "nice people are everywhere", though i feel like a smug twat for typing that.

The thing is - try not to label a whole gender just because of a few individuals.

[girl]

I been at St As for 3 years now and have never had a proper relationship since I've been here but not for lack of trying. All the guys I meet are either taken/gay/idiots. I've no idea where the nice guys are! The few that I've met I've become really good friends with and then it's had no chance of going anywhere.Any idea where to look for some genuine, nice guys who won't string me along/ignore me?

[theshadowhost]

do you mean ignore you as in dont value your opinions or that they pretend not to hear what you're saying?

I guess for girls its harder cause if they are more forward in trying to get guys they can end up with some dickheads who think they are slutty. tsthe things that makes the most sense for me for what a girl should do is meet lots of guys, and get good at judgung whether the guys are nice. cause at the end of the day its more likely that the guys will be chasing after the girls and so you should be the one deciding on which guy you want.

I guess a lot of the same things apply for both guys and girls and thats just keep meeting people, talk to them about your interests etc and eventually you should find someone who is into the same things, and build a connection with them. At the end of the day if someone is stringing you along it might be a) cause you didnt have that much in common for it to work out and b) cause you couldnt tell that they were stringing you along cause you didnt know them as well as you thought.

another thing is if a guy seems desperate, its a major turn off for girls, and if a girl seems desperate its an excuse for guys to get with her and then treat her like crap. all this rambling advice basically says that its a fine line...

[Pace]

I been at St As for 3 years now and have never had a proper relationship since I've been here but not for lack of trying. All the guys I meet are either taken/gay/idiots. I've no idea where the nice guys are! The few that I've met I've become really good friends with and then it's had no chance of going anywhere.Any idea where to look for some genuine, nice guys who won't string me along/ignore me?

If you are willing to share the secret of where the nice girls are then I'll tell you where the nice guys are.

Personally I've always gone with the advice given by 'Coming to America'.

Prince Akeem: Sir, where can one go to find nice women here?
Clarence: You gotta get out and look, they ain't just gonna fall on your lap.
Semmi: We've been to every bar in Queens.
Clarence: Well, that's where you messed up, son, you can't go to no bar to find a nice woman. You gotta go to a nice place,...

[theshadowhost]

yeah i guess societies are good - instant common interests - but its also lame to go to them just for the reason of hitting on people.

Also saying all guys you meet are taken/gay/idiots makes you look pretty judgemental and maybe your standards are too high?

[Pace]

yeah i guess societies are good - instant common interests - but its also lame to go to them just for the reason of hitting on people.

Also saying all guys you meet are taken/gay/idiots makes you look pretty judgemental and maybe your standards are too high?

Societies are good way to meet people and you are right in that they shouldn't be used as a vehicle for hitting on people. I was leaning on the idea that if you want to meet people who are perhaps more compatible in terms of interests then you need a way of showing those interests.

It is also an idea that can be expanded beyond societies. ie the gym, classes at the sports centre, cinema, theatre etc. I think you hit the nail on the head with 'instant common interests'. If you know you have something in common then you already have a strong starting point for conversations.

It's hard to help though when you have no idea of what someone's interpretation of a genuine, nice guy is. I guess this fits in nicely with the point of standards. Knowing the criteria that classes someone as an idiot might help in pointing a finger in the right direction...

[ConspiracyTheorist]

Well, there have been some interesting points of view since my first posting - some helpful, some not so much. But when all is said and done, if there are like-minded people reading this, I'd love to hear from you.

Email me on tenguitars@hotmail.com

[theshadowhost]

dude "i want a girl who isn't materialisitc show-off or a skank" you should get with Girl "All the guys I meet are either taken/gay/idiots."

You already think most of opposite sex are the problem - that's something in common right there!

[Pace]

dude "i want a girl who isn't materialisitc show-off or a skank" you should get with Girl "All the guys I meet are either taken/gay/idiots."

You already think most of opposite sex are the problem - that's something in common right there!

Not a bad idea there ^^^

Although I believe our friend has likely dropped himself into the 'idiot' group.

I'm reachable at toastedandghosted@hotmail.co.uk and seeing as I've been on a bit of a roll with helping others recently I'm willing to put aside a little time to listen to anyone who needs a morale boost, a point in the right direction or just someone to moan at.

[Hennessy]

dude "i want a girl who isn't materialisitc show-off or a skank" you should get with Girl "All the guys I meet are either taken/gay/idiots."

You already think most of opposite sex are the problem - that's something in common right there!

Not a bad idea there ^^^

Although I believe our friend has likely dropped himself into the 'idiot' group.

I'm reachable at toastedandghosted@hotmail.co.uk and seeing as I've been on a bit of a roll with helping others recently I'm willing to put aside a little time to listen to anyone who needs a morale boost, a point in the right direction or just someone to moan at.

This thread has turned from morbidly amusing to boring poor stuff indeed, it is time for a little richness to return:



Now, see how long you can look at this picture without thinking "sandwich".

inb4 "I don't like branston pickle", only members of branston's master race need reply.

[Ruru Hedgehog]

This thread has turned from morbidly amusing to boring poor stuff indeed, it is time for a little richness to return:



Now, see how long you can look at this picture without thinking "sandwich".

inb4 "I don't like branston pickle", only members of branston's master race need reply.

I thought "sandwich".
I also remembered this as the "Personal Ads Board".
Put the two together, and we'll have some pretty odd requests.

Alo, I find it funny that I'm saying this on my 69th post.
*proceeds to high-five with all Sinners*

[Freaker]

Bring on the "Nice Girls and Nice Guys" society - or wait, was that OrgySoc?

[la pantera rosa]

maybe:
because of that
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MHqXfYa ... C4&index=8
if so...

[Swiss]

Having said all of this though, I can understand the frustration, the guys I have met in St Andrews have on the whole been immature, cocky, not particularly interesting and pretty self-absorbed. Maybe I've just had bad luck but I do think St Andrews generally attracts a certain type of people who are not exactly of my palate. My ex (a fellow student) was one of the most immature and insensitive boys I have ever met and damn near put me off guys for some time. My current relationship feels much much saner, and I can actually engage on some kind of *intellectual* level with my boyfriend. (And he's an Aberdeen graduate who doesn't live in this pathetic, closeted little town which is a huge bonus.)

Hahahahahaha