The Withnail & I quotation thread

[Anon.]

Prostitutes for the bees.

[Big X]

I could hardly piss straight with fear

[hr]

"Never apologise for showing feeling, in doing so you apologise for truth" Disraeli

[Jason Dunn]

"I can never touch meat until it's cooked. As a youth I used to weep in butchers shops." Monty

[Eliot Wilson]

Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer!

[hr]

Bill and Ted beat the Grim Reaper at Twister

Bill: "You played very well, Death, especially with your totally heavy Death robes."

Death: "Don't patronise me."

[blondie]

It's trying to get itself in with you. It's trying for even more advantage. It's obsessed with its gut - it's like a rugby ball now. It will die! It will die!... once again that oaf has destroyed my day.

[Smith]

What fucker said that?

[hr]

We're not drunk, we're multi-millionaires...
IMAGE:img.photobucket.com/albums/v516/ryanlewisjones/burlyman.jpg

[johness]

My thumbs have gone wierd!

[hr]

[s]Wait a minuite Sally, I got something in my teeth, could you get it out for me? That's fucking teamwork![/s]

[ARTooD2]

I Fuck Arses? Who Fucks Arses?? Maybe HE Fucks Arses....!

Don't Threaten ME with a dead fish!

And of course my all time favourite:

We've run out of wine...What are we going to do about it!?!?

[hr]

'What did you say, my boy? It's all over? That's what you said... but it isn't at all. It's far from being all over...'

[jennyo]

We want the finest wines known to humanity! We want them here and we want them now!

There must and shall be aspirin. If I do not have aspirin I shall die [to be muttered to self after big nights out].

And of course:
We've gone on holiday by mistake!

God, I love that film.



[hr]

And fuckin give her some smoochies too!

[Gealle]

I feel like a pig shat in my head...

[legohead]

if I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present.

[hr]

This is for all those headless acrobats
faces crushed in the circus dust
all in the name of gravity
and the price of admission

[Manic23]

Then the Fucker will rue the day!

[Campbell]

scrubbers!


i invented it in camberwell and it looks like a carrot

[steve low]

We will install a fucking juke box in this place, liven all you fuckers up a bit

[Eddie Baby]

A COWARD YOU ARE, WITHNAIL...
AN EXPERT ON BULLS YOU ARE NOT!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires!

[Guest]

MONTY YOU TERRIBLE CUNT!

[pelopidas]

"Right, here's the plan. First, we go in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop some Surmontil-50's each. That way we'll miss out on Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning"

"What happened to my cigar commercial? What happened to my agent? Bastard must have died."

" Look at that. "Accident Blackspot"? These aren't accidents. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly. Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness"

[felix]

"Throw yourself into the road darling, you haven't got a chance"

"We are multi millionaires, we will buy this place and fire you immediately"
Yes we will buy this place and install a fucking jukebox, liven all you stiffs up a bit"

[hr]

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission

[Anon.]

I have a heart condition. If you touch me, it's murder.

[Eliot Wilson]

My wife is having a baby!

[hr]

Bill and Ted beat the Grim Reaper at Twister

Bill: "You played very well, Death, especially with your totally heavy Death robes."

Death: "Don't patronise me."