New Satirical Newspaper Needs Writers

[Simpleton]

The Badger, a new St Andrews based, student run, satircial newspaper, is currently seeking writers for it's first issue. We are looking for articles in the style/tone of the Onion ( http://www.theonion.com ). Feel free to write on any topic - we are not afraid of being sued; we have our ways around these things.

Please contact Martin Hulf, the editor, at acsmcfly@hotmail.com, if you're interested. He'll be able to answer any questions you may have.

Cheers,

Simon Williams
Production Ass.

PS - Lara Cunningham, word on the street is, you're funny. Fancy a collaboration? (I think your mum and my mum know each other... my cousin is Natasha Young; if that means anything to you)

[Prophet Tenebrae]

Sounds tempting, will this - until other publications I wouldn't dream of mentioning - actually have the publicity and such that are required to make it worthwhile?

[Simpleton]

Yes.

[Prophet Tenebrae]

That's good to know, I mean it's a real shame when gangly individuals spend an entire year saying they're going to advertise something, saying they're going to do stuff and then eventually conceding that nothing is going to happen because they're "busy" when you know fine well they spent about 3 months asleep.

[Robert Siegel]

Sounds great but I would like to know precisely what satricial means before giving my blessing and the deadbeats over at Chambers have not put it in their dictronarry yet.

[Simpleton]

What are you chatting about Tenebrae? If it's about advertising the Sinner, i didn't do that coz i was ill.

The reason why we haven't started advertising the Badger yet, is because we are still searching for enough writers to make our first issue. Then we will advertise.

[Sophs]

I'm sure I would love to help, if I could access the Onion webpage.... Any suggestions how my simple brain can get around this one...?

[Thackary]

Would it be as simple as clicking on the link in the first message?

Or is that too obvious, and you've tried it, and it doesn't work?

[Sophs]

Ok, I'm not that stupid.... The link doesn't work from my computer.

[Greebo]

The link was broken - looks fixed to me now.

[Prophet Tenebrae]

Talking about the Sinner, perish the thought - I was talking about some other publication entirely.

[Al]

"Lara Cunningham, word on the street is, you're funny."

What street? Are you actually, seriously suggesting that people talk about this?

"Psst. Keep it to yourself but y'know that Lara Cunningham. She is funny!"

"I know man. I heard it in the ghetto."

"Y'mean the word has reached Bogward?"

"Fancy a collaboration?"

I've never heard it called that before.

[hr]"Happiness is a time, a place...a chemical imbalance"

[Simpleton]

Erm... was it something I was meant to do? Or will I get vague sarcasm thrown back at me? If it was meant to be me then it was either for the Sinner last year; or, for the Vine this year. Neither of which seem in great need of advertising - the Sinner as there are already posters up and about; the Vine: people don't buy it - why advertise it? Although more could be done to get writers... offering them the chance to meet such greats as Busted ("That's what we go to school for" - grrr). It's probably not even me and my paranoid delusions are once again starting to take hold: nurse!





[hr] Do my trousers make my bum look fat?

No, your fat makes you look fat.

[Prophet Tenebrae]

I'm just writing an article for the Badger now.