Limericks

[Mr Comedy]

Oh, I do like that!

[grousefanatic]

[s]Tor wrote on 13:54, 20th Apr 2004:
i dont really think anyone else has a problem with my japan limerick...

i wasn't intending to be anal-y correct - i think my version is as worthy and unique as yours... so go to hell.

how you can have a 'correct' form of any limrick is beyond me... its like chinese whispers - the fact that mine has deviated somewhat is a mark of interest and devlopment - not error.

So erm, there we go...


I thought the whole point of it all that a limerick, like a lot of other poetic form, is a set down structure and like Bryn says the joke works because the last line doesn't fit the pattern. However, if other lines don't fit it as well then both the idea of the joke and the limerick are lost.

Just a thought.
For some really good limericks, check out Edward Lear's stuff, he was a master of them!

[Anon.]

Here are some I made earlier:

The girl of a chappie named Christopher
On returning asked him what he missed of her
Blushes her face did tinge
When he answered, "Your minge,"
And her comeback made clear that he'd pissed off her.

And another funny-spelling one (I do like them, sorry):

A woman had crabs in her belvoir
And heartily wished they would lelvoir.
But on going to Brough
To rinse out her mough
She caught cold and died of a felvoir.

[Dee]

Recalling the Chuck Paluchnik (sp?) story:

His brother taught him a very cool trick
Involving a candle stick.
It may seem perverted.
Where the wax was inserted.
But it's getting it out that's the trick.

Oh, I remember being told this one and wishing I hadn't.

There was an old Bishop of Birmingham,
Who buggered the boys while confirming 'em.
As they knelt at the hassock,
He pulled up his cassock,
And spurted ecclesiastical sperm in 'em.

[hr]Crank up the Beethoven, it's time to kick some butt.

[Lindsay]

This one's from the late great Spike Milligan...

There once was a man named Syd
Who was chased by the police so he hid
For a year and a day
In the Sewers they say
Which is why he was covered in shid.

Or another one...

In attempting to kill Rasputin
They tried poisoning, stabbing and shooting
Then up spoke a guy
Said "let's have one more try"
"But this time we all put the boot-in!"

[KateBush]

[s]Tor wrote on 13:54, 20th Apr 2004:
i dont really think anyone else has a problem with my japan limerick...

i wasn't intending to be anal-y correct - i think my version is as worthy and unique as yours... so go to hell.



Daughter mine! Play NICELY:P

[hr]
a red rose is not selfish because it wants to be red rose. It would be selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red, and roses. -Oscar Wilde

[Biitchboy]

There once was a boy called Chris Ait
Whose last essay was terribly late
"I just can't be assed,
So long as I've passed,
And I can't wait till I graduate"

(P.S. poetic license on my name...)
Oh, and sorry, it's bad! But it explains the reasons why I even started this thread in the first place...

[hr]If I gave a shit, you'd be the first person I'd give it to.

http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/~lgbtsoc
*This post does not necessarily reflect the views of the society*

[Bryn]

[s]Tor wrote on 13:54, 20th Apr 2004:
i wasn't intending to be anal-y correct - i think my version is as worthy and unique as yours... so go to hell.

God - arsey much?

[hr]
Come and see "Baby with the Bathwater" - http://baby.tz4.com

[Anon.]

[s]Tor wrote on 13:54, 20th Apr 2004:
i wasn't intending to be anal-y correct - i think my version is as worthy and unique as yours... so go to hell.

I don't.

[ever_nocturnal]

.

[Bryn]

[s]Tor wrote on 13:54, 20th Apr 2004:
i wasn't intending to be anal-y correct - i think my version is as worthy and unique as yours... so go to hell.

Considering the joke is about how limericks should scan, ie. they have a particular rhythm pattern that NEEDS to be stuck to, and certain people don't seem to realise that, the fact that you didn't manage to have your second line scanning suggests you don't get the joke. No?

[hr]
Come and see "Baby with the Bathwater" - http://baby.tz4.com

[ever_nocturnal]

.

[ever_nocturnal]

.

[Anon.]

[s]ever_nocturnal wrote on 19:59, 20th Apr 2004:
he often cried 'Tony, you Poof!'

Referring to you, or the Right Honourable member for Sedgefield?

[ever_nocturnal]

.

[Tor]

the second line of my japan limerick does work bryn darling....

you just have to read it properly - with a slight pause after the word 'lyrics'

there was a young man from japan,
whose lyrics, never would span.

the pause comes where 'young' would on the first line... its all a matter of interpretation... im not stupid - i do know about form...and that the last line is supposed to be the only differing one... or do you always jump to the conclusion that everyone is somewhat less intelligent than you?

[S.L.G.]

Ummm can I just say how flattered I am to have made it into a limerick, but I just want to state for the record that I didn't so much mind the beard as it had to go because Peter and I are in a play (the one mentioned below - yes shameless self-promotion I know).

Besides, people kept saying he looked like Jesus and it was a little weird for it to be implied that I was dating Jesus.

[hr]"You obviously prefer Nanny to me, so as far as I'm concerned, you can just go to hell"
Come see Baby With the Bathwater May 5-8 at the Crawford!

[Bryn]

[s]Tor wrote on 01:12, 21st Apr 2004:
the pause comes where 'young' would on the first line... its all a matter of interpretation... im not stupid - i do know about form...and that the last line is supposed to be the only differing one... or do you always jump to the conclusion that everyone is somewhat less intelligent than you?

You shouldn't have to make it fit with a pause. But anyway, I do apologise, I really didn't mean to upset you so much. And no, of course I don't assume that everyone is less intelligent than me, quite the contrary, I'm much better at slagging myself off than I am other people.

[hr]
Come and see "Baby with the Bathwater" - http://baby.tz4.com

[Magus]

There was a young curate from Kew
Who kept an old cat in a pew.
He taught it to speak
Alphabetical Greek
But it never got furthur than mu.

Bad Classics jokes. Oh dear, I must have work to do...

[StrangeQuark]

Some physics ones here, carefully stolen from another messageboard:

Consider the pitiful plight

Of a runner who wasn't too bright

He sprinted so fast,

That he vanished at last

By red-shifting himself out of sight.

******

At near light speed I’ve taken a spin

Then returned back to earth and my twin.

Since I’ve been away,

I’ve aged hardly a day,

But just look at the shape that HE’s in!

*****

A proton, who once spied a boson,

Said, "Hey sailor, you I have chosen.

It’s your type of guy on

Whom, lovable pion,

In strong interaction I’m closin’."