student insanity

[nighteyes]

is it only me that has noticed the number of threads and replys that mention or detail self harm, depression, insomnia or an eating disorder?
for such a small town there seem to be a high number of *at risk* people.it could just be the concentration on the sinner but it got me wondering about the stresses of student life. how many had these behaviours were present before being a university student, how many had these behaviours as a school student?
are these things on the increase or are they simply more open for discussion?
as u can tell im a cheery soul at this time in the morning.
mind that im not critisising, im an imsomniac, have mild depression and self harmed in the past. and im quite open about it.
but it does seem like not a week goes by without someone asking what to do about there problems, always to be told the same things. go to sss, or go to a doctor.
for some ppl to admitt they are having problems in person is an incredibly big step, and for someone who is unsure of themselves it is frightning to give up some control to someone else, to let the confident mask slip.

i dont even know why im writting this realy, as the product of a sleep deprived mind this will no doubt be deleted later today.

i suppose what im trying to get across here is that for those out there that cant approach anyone in person, email and messenger helps. easier to type and send how you feel than doing it in person. so wether it is to a friend, family member, sss, or even if u dont send...give it a try.

to everyone else try to understand that the person pushing past you on the street isnt just being rude. they are possibly going through hell in there heads and the rest of the world doesnt click.

god what a load of crap...feel free to flame

[hr]i didnt say i was consistant, just right!

[theflirt]

[s]nighteyes wrote on 05:39, 17th Jan 2005:

go to sss, or go to a doctor.
[hr]i didnt say i was consistant, just right!


Well I went to the sss at the weekened there to basically tell them that one of my friend was taken into hospital and can't sit her maths exam today-but guess what? The sss isn't open at the weekends...or at least the time I went! What is the point in that? Surely the weekend would be the busiest time for them since most people are free at the weekend, free to talk and perhaps get very upset!

I think St Andrews, the city itself, doesn't help matters when people are depressed or self-harming..it is so small and hiding from the 'outside' world that it would make the happiest person alive become very depressed eventually if they couldn't leave whether it be for the pants 'public transport' or the fact they have lectures everyday!

Woo, enough of that rant! off to the library!

[hr]
"I have nothing to declare but my own genius" - Oscar Wilde

[flarewearer]

[s]nighteyes wrote on 05:39, 17th Jan 2005:
is it only me that has noticed the number of threads and replys that mention or detail self harm, depression, insomnia or an eating disorder?

i think it may be more to do with the fact that the Sinner is a good place to turn if you are experiencing some sort of problem; It's always there for you, (unlike SSS) and you can normally get some useful, productive advice.

[hr]
..if you smell an odourless gas, it is likely to be Carbon Monoxide...

[Unknown]

[s]flarewearer wrote on 11:05, 17th Jan 2005:
i think it may be more to do with the fact that the Sinner is a good place to turn if you are experiencing some sort of problem; It's always there for you, (unlike SSS) and you can normally get some useful, productive advice.


It's largely anonymous as well, if you want it to be, which can help too: means people suffering can avoid any perceived stigma, can be more private, and don't have to worry about getting biased or overly-specific advise.

[Cain]

[s]Unknown wrote on 12:26, 17th Jan 2005:
It's largely anonymous as well, if you want it to be, which can help too: means people suffering can avoid any perceived stigma, can be more private, and don't have to worry about getting biased or overly-specific advise.


i've posted unreg with problems a few times because i knew that i could trust the advice of sinners. it's always good to hear advice from somebody that you actually know and respect, even if they don't actually know that they're talking to you.

[hr]
I hold an element of surprise

[KateBush]

[s]theflirt wrote on 08:24, 17th Jan 2005:
[s]nighteyes wrote on 05:39, 17th Jan 2005:[i]

go to sss, or go to a doctor.
[hr]i didnt say i was consistant, just right!


Well I went to the sss at the weekened there to basically tell them that one of my friend was taken into hospital and can't sit her maths exam today-but guess what? The sss isn't open at the weekends...or at least the time I went! What is the point in that? Surely the weekend would be the busiest time for them since most people are free at the weekend, free to talk and perhaps get very upset!

I think St Andrews, the city itself, doesn't help matters when people are depressed or self-harming..it is so small and hiding from the 'outside' world that it would make the happiest person alive become very depressed eventually if they couldn't leave whether it be for the pants 'public transport' or the fact they have lectures everyday!

Woo, enough of that rant! off to the library!

[hr]
"I have nothing to declare but my own genius" - Oscar Wilde
[/i]


theyh have an out of hours service over nights and weekenbds. If you ring x 2720 they give you details on the answer phone. you can also email

[LonelyPilgrim]

I know that I've had problems dealing with St Andrews at times. I mean, I've never been the most cheerful person around, but I would never have classified myself as depressive before coming here. Not that I consider myself depressive all the time here, but there's definately something about the climate, and the stress to perform, and the fact that it's such a different culture from where I'm from that makes it difficult not to get down sometimes.

[hr]---Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.--- Abraham Lincoln

[Idealist]

I was just thinking the same thing yesterday. At the beginning of this academic year(my second year) I was really depressed and absolutely hated myself, and I had never ever been depressed in my life before. Although, failing a resit and arguing alot with one of my best friends didn't help, but it was still so, so unlike me. As freshers week passed I didn't even recognise the person I had become, I was usually so bubbly and happy, now I was crying all the time for no real reason, and one drunken night I turned to self harming. The fright that I gave my friends really shocked my into getting my arse in gear!

With a few hiccups along the way things eventually got alot a better, and now I think I'm a better and stronger person for what has happenned. I can't believe how much I didn't like myself, now I realise I'm not all that bad!

I don't know if maybe the same thing happens in all universities, or situations where young people move away from home. I think that people who have been fairly sheltered (myself included!) throughout there life have a hard time facing the big bad world, and it gets to them. Having said that, St Andrews' unique, secluded situation doesn't help matters at all.

I know people say go to SSS and the doctors etc, but sometimes its not always the way. You CAN get through it on your own and with the help of your friends. My friends were a God send. It takes time and alot of thinking about who you are as a person. I went to SSS because my friends made me, and I didn't really find it all that helpful, the people were great but it wasn't what I needed. I utterly refused to go to the doctors as I certainly didn't want to go on anti-depressants.

Its been a hard few months but I'm a better and stronger person now. I hope that other people can cope with the pressures of their university lives, I too didn't realise how many there actually were!

Take Care
x

[Thalia]

Yep, i've been depressed for a lot of this semester though it was mostly because i'd had glandular fever and just couldn't seem to drag myself out of bed when it came to starting uni again and going to my lectures.

I went to SSS and my doctor but it was really just a case of waiting until i'd recovered physically before i really started to feel better. Although my wonderful boyfriend did have to go through a hell of a lot of crap with me until that happened

I don't think St Andrews really helps sometimes either - it can feel rather oppressive at times but maybe it was worse for me because i live in Fife Park and when you're depressed it's like your trapped there, in that one room, alone, and everything's so far away you just don't have the energy to go to it. At least in other halls there are common rooms nearby that you can go to just for a change of scenery.

[confused]

I was just wondering what people's honest opinion on self harm is? I self harm and have done for years but i have really only heard opinions on self harm from professionals or from people who want to help me to stop, so was just wondering what others really think about it?

[n01]

I don't know about the depressive state of StA. Last year (I was a first year) and I got incredibly depressed after the first exams. Everyone went home but I stayed in StA (I'm from the states). I ended up downward spiraling and taking a year out of school. I'm heading back next fall and I hope that I'll be better and able to hold up. I think that the culture is different, but if you can find a set of friends, you're all the better. I was at a school in the states this year, and it just seemed easier to make friends. Perhaps it just takes a bit of practice and settling down before one really makes friends. Being alone sucks but being with people you hate is worse. If you find some one (which is what people try to do here) then you are all the better off. Alcoholism doesn't really help either... drinking on the weekends i understand (what else IS there to do) but overboard'll get to you.

I think that most ppl turn to the sinner when not happy. It's not often you get ppl coming here who don't have any problems or don't want to talk about anything! Why else would they be here. I guess its weird because the only things you see are here, and the only ones here are 'depressed' etc.

as far as self harm goes.. i dunno, i've been really really down before, but i've never come to it. no clue really...

[hr][s]I'm sure that some day we'll wake from the dream of success and focus...[/s]

[nighteyes]

as i used to self harm i dont know if i could give an opinion. do you want a reply from ppl that have never done it? and you are right about not realy hearing non profesional views about it. tho sometimes what is herd is negative. like you dont deserve treatment for injurys because it was you who did it deliberatly.


[hr]
i didnt say i was consistant, just right!

[onefinalstep]

[s]nighteyes wrote on 22:17, 19th Jan 2005:
like you dont deserve treatment for injurys because it was you who did it deliberatly.



That attitude needs to change. The sooner, the better in my view. Having hospitalised myself several times in the past few years due to both self harm and suicide attempts I find the way doctors and other medical staff look at people like me is in some ways absolutely disgusting. In some ways I admit that the injuries are self inflicted but surely that shows that more care is required, not less. I don't know if nighteyes will agree with me on this but self harm can in some ways be a cry for help, not in all cases, but in a lot.

[nighteyes]

self harm is different in all cases. while it is gen thought to be a cry for help or suicidal tendencies...some go through it to releive tension when there is no other escape valve for that person. part of stopping cutting is finding other coping mechanisms. of course you have to want to stop.

[hr]
i didnt say i was consistant, just right!

[mylittlepony]

living in st andrews would make anyone want to self-harm. it's a fuckin shit hole full of plebs

[floatingonmycloud]

[s]mylittlepony wrote on 23:11, 19th Jan 2005:
living in st andrews would make anyone want to self-harm. it's a fuckin shit hole full of plebs


Charming.

I think people self-harm for various reasons, some to somehow try to ease the psychological pain they are feeling inside by cutting themselves to feel physical pain, grr I don't know, I don't think anyone really understands it. With some people I think it is a call for help. Like one girl at my old school used to go around showing people her scars, although maybe that was just her calling out for attention. Other people and probably most people don't want people to know they have been cutting.

[fact_me_till_i_fart]

Back at school I went through quite a few rough patches and needed to self harm to stay alive. I felt like I couldn't really talk about what I was feeling with friends because they would think I was mad or lying. Insted of telling my friends about it and what was making me do it I lied about it. I still don't think that a lot of my friends at home would believe the real reasons why. I put up a mask to hide what I was feeling from everyone, even my family and i'm ashamed of it. It got to the stage that I ended up cutting myself so much in one sitting that I'd pass out and was doing this on a regular basis. I didn't care who knew that I was doing it. I wasn't trying to cry out for help. I did it for one simple reason. I wanted to die. I still do. That sounds shocking but its the truth.

And I, like onefinalstep, have had problems with hospital staff after they realise I self harm. Attitudes do need to change.

But back to nighteyes original point, yes it is much easier to tell people things over MSN, the sinner or text message purely because it is impersonal and you can hide yourself behind a mask. It is easier but not as helpful as actually having the person there to look at, to cry with and just to comfort you when you need it most. Perhaps having someone truly there for you is one of the best things in the world. I just wish I had that a year or so ago when I needed it the most...

This may sound contradictory to what I said a moment ago but you also have to solve some of your problems out yourself. I've learned recently that having people to talk to is one of the best things in the world but heal the emotional wounds that cause the problems in the first place you need to look inside yourself. Its finding the ballance between what you need other people to help with and what you can do yourself that is all important. If you depend too much on others then you'll never properly heal.

Oh, and St Andrews is not as bad as it seems. You've never lived in the Kirkintilloch area. Thats a true shit hole.

[hr]Black is my mind when a new day has come
Black are the tears when I cry
Come here and take my hand, join this misery
The fallen angel will set us free