‘These statues portray Jesus actively participating with boys and girls in a variety of sports. A wonderful way to reinforce Jesus "as friend" in everyday activities’
However, as you can see, Jesus is being a right cunt in all of these statues. If he’s a friend, as he claims to be, then it’s the mate that pretends to like you and then steals your marbles and refuses to return your superman comic.
These two kids were probably playing away quite happily until Jesus came along to ruin the fun. ‘I want to bat’ says the selfish messiah. ‘But its my turn’, replies the ginger kid in the blue cap. ‘Fine’ says Jesus, ‘we’ll both do it’ and he grabs onto the bat, ignoring the protests of the children. Needless to say, neither of them are able to return the ball properly and the kid in the blue cap gets hit in the face. Jesus laughs and heads back to his yard to burn ants with a magnifying glass
Later on, the two kids are playing basketball. ‘I want to play’ screams Jesus, throwing a primadonna tantrum. The kids remember him from earlier and tell him to ‘fuck off’. Undeterred, Jesus steps in and takes the basketball, he then holds it above the children’s heads and giggles inanely. ‘Hahaha, I’m taller than you, and my daddy is more important’, he says, and lobs the basketball into a nearby stream.
God threatens the children with eternal damnation unless they let his son play with them. Reluctantly the kids agree and let him play soccer. As soon as Jesus gets the ball he categorically refuses to pass and shoulder barges the other two kids when they come near. ‘Stop hogging it’, they shout, but their protests are in vain. When they eventually get the ball off Jesus, he lunges into a vicious two-footed tackle, spits on his victim and kicks the football into a thorn bush.
Jesus teams up with the tallest kid against the little guy for a game of American football. ‘Its not fair’ screams the kid in the pink top. ‘Shut up you nobhead’, shouts Jesus and he and his teammate run in touchdown after touchdown. Eventually when this becomes boring, they rub the little guy’s face in the dirt and head off to the house of god to torture the cat.
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