"Lost" St Andrews-style

[David Bean]

So here's the thing. We were in an aeroplane crash, there weremany deaths, and we're the only survivors. We're stranded on some reasonably-sized island somewhere in the middle of nowhere, our communications systems aren't functioning, and we have no obvious means of immediate rescue. We need to combine our efforts and skills, working together with the sole object of survival. Each of us has to spend out time doing whatever we're best at. What role do you take?

I hit the ground running, no pun intended, by rallying the survivors with an inspiring speech calling on us all to do exactly that. The expression 'Today we celebrate our Independence Day!' might well be used, and the audience can virtually hear the strains of John Williams in the background.

From there, I go about setting up a form of democratic government of our new micro-nation. I write a constitution, based on the simple principle that, as we're so few in number, all decisions can practically be taken by everyone. Executive, legislative and judicial branches are combined; meetings of the resultant Council are to be held initially once a day, and then to be decided at each preceding meeting, or when called by the Chairman, who will be elected for an indefinite term until recalled.

The constitution passes unanimously, and I'm returned unopposed as Chairman. I need a clerk to record the business of the meetings, but I can't do that myself because I'm chariting them. There are no laws, but everyone is expected to conduct themselves according to the requirements of natural justice, and abide by any resolutions passed by Council, including measures like the rationing of food. I recruit a couple of heavies to act as the police force able to enforce the will of the Council in cases of emergency like violence but, in general, anyone who refuses to work is simply excluded from the survival effort, and must fend for himself.

Things work out okay, and the island pretty much runs itself. For the rest of the time I make my way around the group, talking to people, caring for the sick and depressed, making sure everyone's okay and resolving little disputes. It's a good time.

[hr]

"Don't ask me what you know is true, don't have to tell you, I love your precious heart. I - I was standing, you were there, two worlds collided, and they could never tear us apart" - INXS

[flarewearer]

..and then someone started a RON campaign and the surviros turned on eachother, resorting to extreme scissors-paper-stone to settle their differences

[hr]

image:www.magnificentoctopus.com/x/blackback.png

[Gealle]

Well, I'm buggered if I'd be at all useful. I just left Swallowgate after four years...

I'm a smashingly good cook though

[DrAlex]

Yeah, while you were talking, I built myself a shelter and fire. Now I'm checking my traps, and later I'll set up some stills to catch fresh water.

Subsequently people see me as a loner, and no one wants to talk to me because they don't trust me. Eventually my survival and first aid knowledge will save you all.

[hr]

RUSH KATO '05!

rush.kato@gmail.com

[Duggeh]

Lost survivor Douglas has discovered "Secrets of the Human Brain" the news generates a burst of MacIntyre Faction Research.

Douglas has just entered into service his first prototype unit 2-2-1, rendering his Lost forces practically invincible.

Turn complete.

[hr]

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[hr]Duggeh: Master Of Ceremonies
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[BeccaLydia]

Quoting DrAlex from 18:49, 20th Aug 2005
Yeah, while you were talking, I built myself a shelter and fire.

No doubt you wouldn't be allowed to share your shelter because someone would reject your HMO.

Sorry, bit HMO stressed!

I think maybe I could de-stress myself by sunbathing on the beach and then maybe search for dew on leaves to drink.

[bramble]

I'd be utterly useless, im not a very practical person at all and cant stand the sight of blood so i guess i'd just sit on the beach and cry! Although i am quite good at being an agony aunt and comforting people so i guess i could be the mother hen for wont of anything else. Oh and i can whip up a meal from nothing. Yes definately the mother hen role for me - as long as no dead bodies or gore got sent in my direction!

[hr]

Its not how long it takes, its whos taking you

[sabra_girl]

I'd wade in and help the med students try to save and cure the injured - I've always had a keen knowledge of first-aid and don't flinch at the sight of blood/gross things any more. Would probably then take stock of what needs to be done initially and help organise people into teams to get the jobs done. Would also get people to start building a big-ass fire on the beach and gathering what material goods we can find from the wreckage in case they come in useful. Oh, and I'd like to be the official Island Laureate if no-one has a problem with that.

But mostly I'd probably be trying not to panic )

[hr]

"You guys are like our guinea pigs...only without the long-term cancer!" Chris Thile, Nickel Creek [to audience]

IMAGE:www.sugarhillrecords.com/ecard/assets/3990_boardSHR.jpg

[DrAlex]

Quoting bramble from 21:29, 20th Aug 2005
Although i am quite good at being an agony aunt and comforting people so i guess i could be the mother hen for wont of anything else.

The last chapter of the US Army's first aid manual is 'Psychological First Aid'. It shouldn't be overlooked.

[hr]

RUSH KATO '05!

rush.kato@gmail.com

[Little Miss Giggles]

Quoting sabra_girl from 21:54, 20th Aug 2005
I'd wade in and help the med students try to save and cure the injured

Hee hee, that's assuming any of us actually know anything that might be remotely useful in such a practical (eeek *real life*)situation :p

[novium]

I would search around for ancient ruins and do a bit of amateur archaeology to discover more about the island. (Something the people on Lost are really silly about. I mean, you find a ship out in the middle of nowhere, maybe a quick search of it for more than dynamite might be a good idea).

And I could maybe make some suggestions on how to do things with ancient technologies.

[hr]

I have no witty signature.

[Dave the Explosive Newt]

I establish myself as chair of the medical provisioning executive subcomittee, under Chairperson Bean's consitutional government. The first item on the agenda is establishing triage-situation roles and drawing up an action plan to deal with the injured and dying, however this is delayed as an emergency motion is tabled on the provisioning of artificial contraception for islanders. It is agreed to liase with the plane salvage and plant manufacturing/industry subcomittees to secure adequate provisions for the sexier/sluttier islanders, in the meantime the committee votes to recommend "doing 'er up the wrong-un" as a stop-gap measure.
After this prolonged deliberation, the comittee was advised by the intelligence services - intercepting communications from private councilling services acting on the ground - that that the first point on the agenda had now become moot. Given that this was the only item on the agenda, the comittee removed to a local restaurant, the "Carrion Cafe" for dinner - being advised by the clerk to the comittee to keep all reciepts to make their expenses claims.

[hr]

Will Watson. Medical Student. Cake Lover.

[Paranoid]

FUCK THE BUREAUCRACY!!! "You good at that?...Fine your in charge of that!!...you an expert at this...fine go and get the best people to join you!" COME ON PEOPLE fuck the structure, who needs a President!?! We're here to survive therefore lets start working to survive!

Each of us have a purpose in life, and whether you believe it or not, everyone has a better understanding of something than somemone else so lets start sharing that 'pointless' knowledge and get on with things..


...YEAH MAN WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

[hr]

..I've got this pain down all the diodes on my left side...

[Grandpa]

Quoting Paranoid from 03:01, 21st Aug 2005
**** THE BUREAUCRACY!!! "You good at that?...Fine your in charge of that!!...you an expert at this...fine go and get the best people to join you!" COME ON PEOPLE **** the structure, who needs a President!?! We're here to survive therefore lets start working to survive!

Each of us have a purpose in life, and whether you believe it or not, everyone has a better understanding of something than somemone else so lets start sharing that 'pointless' knowledge and get on with things..


...YEAH MAN WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

Er, didn't Bean already do that?

Apart from not bringing in DrAlex as a potential source of food, water and sustenance, I think he's doing a very good job.

So...what would my role be? In light of the above events I would chair the Hunting, Agricultural and Nutritional Dietary Subcommittee (Yes, I know, it's H.A.N.D.S. for short), which will have the purposes of recruiting those both with enough savy and enough experience/physical ability to undertake the various ensueing heavy workloads. I would lead by example and all involved would look to me as a source of inspiration. After the inspiring, when my ego has deflated, we would get on with the real tasks at hand: Hunting, farming, and collecting/producing clean water whilst also providing any necessary dietary information to Gealle, the chef! As an offshoot, we would supply the materials gained as by products of our ventures - all stuff like fibres of rope and clothing, logs and other wood and anything anyone else would be able to come up with on a sunday morning after only four hours sleep!

As a subsiduary interest I would start a campaign to deslare the Island property of Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second, thereby promoting Bean to Prime Minister. We shall not be a republic! NOOOO, sorry, got a bit carried away.

[hr]

[s]God save The Queen, long live Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and Her other Realms and Territories - Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.[/s]

[Dave the Explosive Newt]

Day 2 - The Medical Provisioning Executive Subcomittee votes unanimously for a change of title to The Medical Liason Working Subcomittee - a memorandum is circulated to all other departments, and stationary is changed, at a cost of the bark of 3 trees and ink made from 360 leaves (to be met by the taxpayer).
Next, the subcomittee listens to a speech from Chairperson-Primeminister Bean on the benefits of decentralisation and privatisation of state-run interests. The speech is well-recieved and the committee instantly decides to go private. It renames itself Island Medical Contracting (at a cost similar to the above, although no longer being a government department it also incurrs a cost of 7 salvaged suitcases to pay for labour).
Island Medical Contracting's only competitor for the health provision contract for the island is an independantly run councilling service, which has up to now been providing for the mental health of the island on a purely independant basis. While the councillers had a far better record in terms of healthcare outcomes in the island population, Island Medical Contracting wins the contract due to its far superior existing relationships with other (now privatised) industries on the island. Also, the councilling service had yet to name itself. It is however agreed to purchase the councilling service as a wholly-owned subsiduary of IMC.
It is decided that healthcare services would be improved substantially by placing a small charge at the point of service, allowing us to compete more effectively with new private start-ups. The levy is set at one banana. Unfortunately, owing to HANDS becomming bogged down by strike action over the provision of leisure facilities for workers, no islanders are able to meet this charge. Crisis talks are scheduled for tomorrow's meeting.

As CEO of IMC, I attend a public meeting of peoples' representatives in the afternoon. The only items of interest were a demand from a member of the public that we change our name to Island Medical Services, as the contracting section of the name could be misleading to the public. This is ratified by the chairperson, and we agree to change our name, at the above cost.
Another islander complains to the meeting that their relative has been unable to obtain heathcare owing to IMS's point-of-entry charge of one banana. I respond that this charge will afford us better long-term provision of healthcare, and loaned monies based on our business plan have already gone into purchasing drugs and equipment from Plane Salvage and Technology Inc. and contracting HANDS to build new hospital facilities on the more popular East side of the island, where the populus tends to be more affluent, thusly ensuring greater business growth. Another islander points out that the first islander died several hours ago owing to illness, and hence the motion falls.

[hr]

Will Watson. Medical Student. Cake Lover.

[DrAlex]

Shocked that it has taken less than 48 hours for this group of human beings to become so beauracratic, I welcome other islanders whom have become disenchanted by the government and teach them more fundamental skills, like using charcoal, a pit, rocks, a pot and a plastic sheet to distill condensing water, poisonous saps, and urine into safe drinking water.

A few people are beginning to trust me, but others think I'm a hermit and are weary of me. I share my rabbit jerkey.

It has been two days and I haven't checked on the Red Sox. I begin to worry.

[hr]

RUSH KATO '05!

rush.kato@gmail.com

[Paranoid]

Anyone heard the radio series of Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy (the original series)...I'm beginning to believe we are indeed evolved from hairdressers and telephone sanitisers afterall!! What the hell is it with all these committee's, heads, subcommittees, daily meetings!?! Cant you see nothing will ever get done whilst people just talk about it all the time

[hr]

..I've got this pain down all the diodes on my left side...

[bubba]

I'll make a flag, we don't want to be invaded and caught unprepared by izzard-esque tactics.



[hr]

Who is John Galt?

[bubba]

I'm worried where all the people for these subcomittees are coming from, unless they're all subcommittees of one. If not i think all efforts should be be switched towards the flag making activities, its very hard work on my onesy.
Also we definitely need a song, i think something by the fine young canniballs will proove to be strangely appropriate... after all I've heard bureaucrats taste like chicken...

[quote]Quoting Paranoid from 12:29, 21st Aug 2005
What the hell is it with all these committee's, heads, subcommittees, daily meetings!?! Cant you see nothing will ever get done whilst people just talk about it all the time

[hr]



[hr]

Who is John Galt?

[Duggeh]

I must warn all other survivors that my faction has developed a terrible weapon of last resort. The Planet Buster.

We require more formers, in order to help us with farms/ soil enrichment/ boreholes/ removal of fungus/ planting of forests.

[hr]

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