Weirdest behaviour by a member of stuff yet?

[Paranoid]

THink you'll find thats McKiernan, a genius of a man and the head of the management school (and AU Rector or whatever the head position is).

I could only wish that I had him lecture me for more than those 3 weeks in 1st year, but in the end he only gave one more module in my 4 years there and it didnt suit my workload )

That all said I do remember one memorable quote from the great man (even tho it was now 5 years ago) when describing a golf club:

"So what we've effectively got here is a hard long stick with a rubber on its end....ah!"

You cant make this stuff up!

Quoting munchingfoo from 17:00, 27th Jan 2006
Theres that management lecture that demonstraits something in first year management by throwing a bottle of water into the upper tier of the buccanan theatre. John I think his name was.

Can't remember the point - maybe not the best learning strategy

[hr]

I'd like to change the world but they won't give me the source code.

[hr]

..I've got this pain down all the diodes on my left side...

[Manic23]

Quoting Insight from 21:29, 28th Jan 2006

Quoting Manic23 from 20:31, 28th Jan 2006
Paloma Gay Y Blasco - Dr. in Social Anthropology...her apparent zeal for recounting the days in her fieldwork when she used to masturbate 7 year old Gitano girls off with her big toe will stay with me til the day I die

WTF, mate?

[hr]

SRC Member for Sexualities & Genders

Yup, apparently it was a right-of-passage amongst the Gitano Gypsies indigenous to Spain, so, when in Rome and all that...

[grousefanatic]

Quoting Manic23 from 20:48, 29th Jan 2006

Quoting Insight from 21:29, 28th Jan 2006

Quoting Manic23 from 20:31, 28th Jan 2006
Paloma Gay Y Blasco - Dr. in Social Anthropology...her apparent zeal for recounting the days in her fieldwork when she used to masturbate 7 year old Gitano girls off with her big toe will stay with me til the day I die

WTF, mate?

[hr]

SRC Member for Sexualities & Genders

Yup, apparently it was a right-of-passage amongst the Gitano Gypsies indigenous to Spain, so, when in Rome and all that...

Her first year lectures were fab. Really interesting stuff too, once you got over the fact that she was yelling words like "semen" and "masturbation" every 10 seconds.

My favourite moment in her lectures was when she told us about the "discovery" of semen - a cloth merchant got bored, cranked one off and, for a laugh, looked at the result under a microscope.

A sidebar there, but oh how I miss those lectures.

[hr]

veni vidi nates calce concidi - i came, i saw, i kicked ass

[Malcolm]

One thing which wasn't necessarily weird, but something the CS1002 people will remember:

Ron Morrison, blaming Bill Gates for everything that went wrong in his lectures. ("Thank you, Mr Gates!").

[no use for a user name]

Quoting Malcolm from 20:57, 29th Jan 2006
One thing which wasn't necessarily weird, but something the CS1002 people will remember:

Ron Morrison, blaming Bill Gates for everything that went wrong in his lectures. ("Thank you, Mr Gates!").

On no Ron Morrision in our first year, head of the Computer Sci dep. "So how do I find a file on this system?" and "Errm where do I go for the Internet errrm errm ah Start that sounds good"

[Insight]

Don't know if she's still works there, my cleaner in Chattan in 03-04 (blonde curly hair, buggered if I can remember her name) had a fondness for putting plastic turds in people's beds while they showered.

[hr]

SRC Member for Sexualities & Genders

[box_of_delights]

Melville's decision to employ a 'salad bar warden' during meal times a couple of years ago was a little bizarre, if not Nazi-like. The fact they actually did restrict the amount of salad taken by any one person indicates bizarre behaviour in the extreme.

[hr]

http://standrews.facebook.com/profile.php?id=37101440

[Guest]

Quoting kaybee from 15:54, 28th Jan 2006
Mark Mon Williams (former psychology lecturer) once delivered a 1st year class from a bath, just wearing speedos..........

Mark Mon Williams delivered a Psychology lecture in the Buchanan building where he started off standing on the stage with a golf club and a full-looking tesco carrier bag. Over the course of the next 45 minutes he took various items out of the bag and hit them towards the audience using the golf club... I can't remember exactly what the lecture was about but I did write down the items in order for some reason. I'll have to have a look for those notes! I do remember that he clearly didn't play golf as he had quite a few fresh-air shots. It was brilliant.

It was quite funny to start with as he hit strawberries, plums, apples and other fruit. He nailed a couple of shots using plums in particular and they travelled very well and hit the back wall of the lower level. He then moved onto a "breakfast pack" (everything needed for the ingredients of a fried breakfast in one packet) where he teed up each sausage, piece of black pudding and lorne sausage before hitting them too. The vegetarians in the lecture hall weren't amused at that and people were shouting at him to stop by this stage.

The finale was a box of eggs, 5 of which he had hardbolied. He announced that he couldn't remember which was which and this sent more people running for cover. Luckily (for him) he mis-hit the shot on the fresh egg and it just trickled off the stage. Some hardy people sat right in the firing line for the duration and hid behind their desks as food rained down on them.

I think he got some kind of official warning for all this as lots of people complained. I ended up getting a solid 4 for that module as I don't think I went to many lectures after that!

[DeepBlue]

Quoting no use for a user name from 21:27, 29th Jan 2006

Quoting Malcolm from 20:57, 29th Jan 2006
One thing which wasn't necessarily weird, but something the CS1002 people will remember:

Ron Morrison, blaming Bill Gates for everything that went wrong in his lectures. ("Thank you, Mr Gates!").

On no Ron Morrision in our first year, head of the Computer Sci dep. "So how do I find a file on this system?" and "Errm where do I go for the Internet errrm errm ah Start that sounds good"

In all fairness to the man, he invented a programming language for his PHD (S-Algol) which was still in use until the Java era. And he is a Mac user therefore unfamiliar with inferior products.

[[James]]

Quoting David Bean from 14:25, 29th Jan 2006

Quoting from 15:51, 27th Jan 2006
An IR lecturer this semester, telling a student whose phone was ringing:

"Congratulations, you've just won the mobile phone wanker of the year award!"

That must have been Mark Imber - he was using that line back when I was in First Year!

Bingo!

[hr]

http://www.auditmypc.com/freescan/antispam.html

[jennyo]

Quoting exnihilo from 12:33, 27th Jan 2006
Does Hugh Kennedy still walk up the lecture hall from desk to desk?

He did in my second year during the castles lecture, which was ages ago. Did he just like the exercise?

[hr]

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. -Friedrich Nietzsche

[zuza]

In 1st year astronomy lecture..Keith Horne and Andrew Cameron "orbiting" each other around the lecture theatre while spinning round and round, to demonstrate the earth and sun system i think..was kind of funny![img]littleicons/grin.gif[/img]

[Gubbins]

Quoting Insight from 21:46, 29th Jan 2006
Don't know if she's still works there, my cleaner in Chattan in 03-04 (blonde curly hair, buggered if I can remember her name) had a fondness for putting plastic turds in people's beds while they showered.

Would that be Gwen? Always up for a laugh, but has a bit of an obsession for pigs.

[hr]

...but then again, that is only my opinion.

[orudge]

Quoting Paranoid from 18:45, 29th Jan 2006
That all said I do remember one memorable quote from the great man (even tho it was now 5 years ago) when describing a golf club:

Heh, I really enjoyed the lectures with Peter this year - he did indeed give us the exact same joke, and other similar ones to do with "shafts" and the like - but he actually made the lectures interesting. It was so depressing when we moved onto the second module with a boring lecturer. ;<

[hr]

http://www.owenrudge.net/
http://standrews.facebook.com/profile.php?id=37103734

[flarewearer]

Quoting box_of_delights from 22:10, 29th Jan 2006
Melville's decision to employ a 'salad bar warden' during meal times a couple of years ago was a little bizarre, if not Nazi-like. The fact they actually did restrict the amount of salad taken by any one person indicates bizarre behaviour in the extreme.

The old DRH had one to ensure you couldnt have salad AND the side vegetables. We called it "Salador"

[hr]

image:www.magnificentoctopus.com/x/elgar.png

[KayBee]

Quoting from 21:12, 29th Jan 2006
Mark Mon Williams delivered a Psychology lecture in the Buchanan building where he started off standing on the stage with a golf club and a full-looking tesco carrier bag.

More than likely he was demonstrating something to do with hand-eye co-ordination and movement as the control of movement etc is what he teaches. It's hust the sort of thing Mark would do though I'm mighty glad I missed that little performance of his.

[Guest]

One of the biology lecturers tried to explain how some plants attract male bees for pollination by appearing to a female bees rear end. He then buzzed about and rubbed his backside on the wall, apparently what the bee would do to the flower!

[macgamer]

A few things I remember Prof. Kinghorn doing last year was to bring in a mouldy tangerine to demostrate how mould can puncture the tough outer skin - he squeezed the fruit slightly, which promptly burst and shot out of his hand onto the floor. He left it there saying it gives the cleaners something to do.

He also discussed the hallucinogenic effects of certain mushrooms, often saying "They're great" and describing in detail they're effects.

His slides were also interesting which included some graphic yeast infections - nice.

[The Dude]

I once had an english tutor who left half way through the tutorial. Upon her return she informed the class that it was going to end soon because she was so hung over.

Also I remember from milton lectures an explanation by Dr. Parry I think about Milton's idea of free will. It went something like:

"God does not cause you to sin and go to hell, he simply sees that you will. Similarly you will see your self going on the bus to Dundee on Tuesday even though you have the choice not to. Like all analogies though this is flawed because Dundee is in fact worse than hell."

[Guest]

Jens Timmerman must be my favourite lecturer. He had some classic lines. Whenever a mobile phone rang he'd politely say, 'Please turn off your walkie-talkies.'

There was also the time in first year when he got really pissed off with students taking his handouts and leaving the lecture. He made a fake handout with irrelevant information and waited until all the escapees had left before issuing the rest of the class with the genuine one.