Academic Parent Training

[nighteyes]

I am thinking of being an academic parent this year. But seeing as my academic parents didnt take their job seriously. I dont actually have much of a clue about how to be a mum.

What is my role?
How do I go about it?
What traditions must I take part in?
What do I do in these traditions?
Anything else?

[hr]

i didnt say i was consistant, just right!

[Cain]

When I was adopting, I just thought of what my academic mum was like and all of the things that she was crap at, then decided to be better for my kids.

What sort of a parent you are depends on what sort of a person you are, but as far as the role goes, mothers put on a mothers' tea party on Raisin Sunday, dress their kids on Raisin Monday and put together their Raisin Strings.

I enjoyed being a mum much more than I enjoyed being a Dad.

[hr]

I hold an element of surprise

[nighteyes]

Propper tea party or drinking session?
What goes on the strings?
Do I get raisins? My parents were crap. I cant believe I am going into 3rd year and I dont know this stuff.
Anyone willing to adopt me at this late stage or do you only take the babies?

Quoting cain from 00:33, 18th Jun 2006
When I was adopting, I just thought of what my academic mum was like and all of the things that she was crap at, then decided to be better for my kids.

What sort of a parent you are depends on what sort of a person you are, but as far as the role goes, mothers put on a mothers' tea party on Raisin Sunday, dress their kids on Raisin Monday and put together their Raisin Strings.

I enjoyed being a mum much more than I enjoyed being a Dad.

[hr]

I hold an element of surprise

[hr]

i didnt say i was consistant, just right!

[DrAlex]

Ahem...

http://www.thesinner.net/article-view.php?article=162

[hr]

"Listen to DrAlex."-Polli
http://standrews.facebook.com/profile.php?id=37100343

[Thalia]

Don't worry nighteyes, we'll most likely have a big joint party anyway since there are four of us who can all adopt kiddies

[hr]

The shadow proves the sunshine...

[nighteyes]

The flat will never survive!!!

[hr]

i didnt say i was consistant, just right!

[Happy-Go-Lucky]

Well, obviously academic parenting has it's own individual traditions that are passed down the generations, but differ between families. Things you did and enjoyed with your parents will likely differ from the things I liked about my parenting. So here's a summary of my academic parenting experience, based on my own parents' methods, and what I saw and liked and picked up from hearing what other parent's did etc.

I was quite close to my academic kids. We went out to pubs and stayed up late into the nights playing cards and watching DVDs together etc. I'd invite them to some parties or events I was going to etc. Not all the time, but many. I think academic parents should let themselves be a person a 1st year can go to to ask about how things academic or social 'work' in St Andrews, or go to for emotional support or just a bit of help with simple little things like where to find a shop to buy certain things, or how to work the library system and that sort of thing.

Raisin weekend was different for my kids than mine. I was disappointed with my costume and receipt when I was a 1st year, so I made an effort to make my own kids more fun and imaginative. Heck, I even made the costumes out of waterproof material so they didn't get too cold, and brought lots of towels to wrap them up in. I gave them plenty of advanced warning about things like buying shaving cream well in advance because they have a habit of being sold-out in St Andrews in the Raisin season.

I got way too drunk on my raisin Sunday in my 1st year, and the result was that I was so sick the next day, I could hardly stop vomiting and almost missed the foam fight which I would have been devastated about if I had. So I told my kids that while I want them to have a good time, I advised that they try not to get too drunk, because if they might be too sick to go to the foam fight and they'd be very disappointed with themselves and regret it if they did. On the other hand, I also went to an alcohol-free raisin party in my 2nd year, and it was awful. Just suggest they don't go too far. Some people will not like this advice, but I think it's good to at least warn them.

Also, after seeing the great party a mate of mine threw for her kids in her 2nd year, I picked up tips for my own party in 4th year. A bunch of people would get together at a flat (several academic families of various ages) at about the middle of the afternoon. We would nibble things like crumpets etc. Somebody at a raisin party brought crumpets and I thought it was so cute and quaint that I brought them over to the party I took my kids to, and it went down a right treat.

The rule of this party was no alcohol before 7pm. Yes, it may sound a bit harsh, but we felt that there was nothing worse than being so drunk you vomited and passed out barely before lunchtime on the Monday. So before that we'd all watch a really silly funny movie like South Park or something similar (those also go down a treat). Then around dinner time, we'd all order takeout of whatever type people liked. Chinese was always a good one.

Then finally once 7pm hit, out would come the booze. Keeping nibbles handy so that people could eat which keeps the drunkenness more under control. Try to keep an eye on your kids to make sure they don't get too out of control or into trouble. And finally at the end of the night, make sure you get them back home safely and into their beds. Maybe even feed them water, lay out a bucket and some newspaper on the floor too if they seem a bit worse for wares. Then in the morning get them up and dressed and off to the Quad in time for the fight. Bring a towel to wrap them up afterwards cause they'll get very cold. And after they are all showered and clean, meet up again for hot chocolates, cake and a day lounging in front of the tv.

Ah, so many great memories. I wish I could do it all again.

Now, many people will not like this method of raisin weekend-ery, but that's how my parent's myself and my friends did it, and it seemed to be a pretty good, and popular formula. But whatever works for you. Maybe cme up with your own "traditions" and if they are popular, they'll be passed down. Certainly my crumpets were a big hit. Everybody loved the quaintness of it all.

[nighteyes]

That sounds good - I got so drunk in my first year that I lost 9 hours and apparently I probs should have been taken to get my stomach pumped - I woke with the most awful hangover, which turned out to be alcohol poisoning and I couldnt touch a drop of alcohol for around 4 months after raisin I will NOT allow any of my children to get like that.

Not supprising that I did miss the foam fight and that is something that I still deeply regret.

This year was more fun - despite the fact my parents are gone - some of my housmates held a party which my gf and I got swept into without meaning to. There was a mini-foam fight and dying of hair. It was fun.

But I like the idea of always feeding the kids so they dont get too drunk and/or ill. That is something that I think I will do.

[hr]

i didnt say i was consistant, just right!

[JM]

Quoting dunqn from 13:25, 19th Jun 2006
Sadly, my wife got all my kids hideously wasted before they got to mine - where a number of them promptly engaged the veritable torrent of vomit.

I think i'll do it again this year, but with far fewer kids, and probably not at my house - the new place is far too nice to have drunk 1st years staggering about.

so whats the Dads role then? and how do you actually find the kids??? (sounded wrong,but you get the drift :S)

[hr]

"Life can be full of many problems"; this can be translated into "tormenting you is how the big man gets his jollies"

[flossy]

I was drunker than my kids this year, so not again!

I adopted 3 of my 5 kids with a mate (who is now my flatmate), and I'd recommend this as it's a good way of staying in touch and organising the parties.

Make your Raisin strings and costumes as far in advance as poss because Raisin weekend sneaks up on you. Set yourself a limit - too many kids usually means some get neglected.

My fave games are stuff like "I have never" so that my kids got to know each other and my mates' kids (joint party for 4 mummies). Buy a cheap Jenga set and write punishments!

Always get the kids to be returned to your house... then at least if they get wasted, there'll be someone to mind them. And just remember not to pressure them into doing something they don't want to do (my academic dad was made to do some pretty yucky stuff by his parents and never really forgave them!).

[hr]

www.myspace.com/rocksocfloss

[Happy-Go-Lucky]

Often the games which are the most fun are really silly ones you play when you're little. It's like a kind of regression thing, and everybody has so much fun. When I was at my 1st year party, and at the one I went to as an adult, such games included pass-the-parcel. A silly thing was wrapped up but in between every 2 or 3 layers, a note would be hidden with a truth type question on it, and the person who got it would have to answer it. And silly stuff like that. It's so silly, but everybody loves it. There were also "normal" drinking games too, but you didn't have to play, or you could play with soft drinks if you wanted. I don't think you should pressure people to drink more than they want, especially if they want to be well enough to foam fight the next day. Various truth or dare type games too. Especially silly things like "stuff newspapers down your bra and run down the road and back". Nothing too nasty, and the person can back out (though they usually want to do it for fun).

I only had 2 kids myself, but I took them to a party of several small families, so there was a more even number of parents and kids which is good to help them meet new people and there were more parent's to keep an eye on the situation.

I didn't trust my kids academic father to do his duties, so I made my kids a string each and got them a raisin receipt. I went out in the dead of night and unscrewed a large sign from a car park as a receipt. A mate of mine gave her kids sand bags which she swiped from some roadworks.

I was quite pleased with the strings I made my kids. Obviously you go to BESS and buy the appropriate strings. Then you should get about 3 small objects which in some way reflects their personality. Idealy, one of those 3 should be related to their degree subject. My daughter did history and had a fetish about medieval royalty, so I made a little cardboard king's crown out of cardboard and cottom wool etc. She also had a thing about ducks and her pet rabbits, so I also added some very small stuffed toys of a rabbit and a duck (charity shops are great for this sort of thing).

My son did maths, so he got a pocket calculator, he was incredibly camp, so he also got a pink rosette saying "Number 1 Girl", and he had a t-shirt that said "filthy" that he wore all the time, and was a frequent for foal language, so I bought a bottle of handwash, emptied it (too heavy otherwise), peeled off the label, and stuck on one I made on my computer saying "Oral Soap for the Filthy Foul Mouth). Both my kids loved their strings.

[Duffman]

Happy-Go-Lucky you sound like such a great parent I wish I'd had a mum like you mine was a bit crap (this is in reference to my 1st mum, mum number 2 don't take offence you were great ) My daughter's raisin string consisted of a mini academic gown with a condom, as she did the naughty in her gown - ah the things you learn playing 'I never'.

[hr]

I would have stayed up with you all night,
if I had known how to save a life.

[Gealle]

A fetish about Mediaeval Royalty does disturb me slightly...

[Guest]

and what type of dares can be asked, what have you hear of and such.

[laguna]

As a father what would i have to do? Do I actively have to go out to find childers?

[Gubbins]

Quoting laguna from 17:05, 24th Jun 2006
As a father what would i have to do? Do I actively have to go out to find childers?

Traditionally 3rd years ask 1st years of the opposite sex (fathers choose their daughters), and 1st years ask 3rd years of the same sex (sons choose their fathers), but you'll find it working both ways.

Having just watched my remaining children graduate (and my grandson - I'm feeling old!), I'd say the secret to a happy family is getting to know your kids before you ask them to be your children and be careful about who you accept as a child. Also remember that academic incest, when done right, is a wonderful thing - vice is nice, but incest is best.

[hr]

...but then again, that is only my opinion.

[Al]

Quoting Gubbins from 17:56, 26th Jun 2006
Traditionally 3rd years ask 1st years of the opposite sex (fathers choose their daughters), and 1st years ask 3rd years of the same sex (sons choose their fathers), but you'll find it working both ways.

The tradition is for potential fathers to ask those who they wish to have as children and potential children to ask whoever they want as a mother.

[laguna]

Thank you!:D
Yeah I have dabbled in the incest bit seeing as i was in a relationship with my academic brother for 2 years :S