Ex Sex

[waiting to ex-laid]

What do you all think about sex with an ex? As a general rule, is it okay in order to defuse all that tension or is it the kind of thing that no good can come of? (No pun intended.)

[Professor Calculus]

It's a disaster waiting to happen.

Might be a fun disaster though...

[Saki]

Depends really. If you're both over with each other and generally stable then sex could be fun. I think honesty is the key - if you're sure that it's only sex and sure that your ex feels the same then it'll be fine.

[Bonnie]

Someone's feelings always eventually get all tangled up. It's the same with friendship sex. They always start out without any qualms, but somewhere along the line, attachment starts to creep into the scene. No one ever intends for it to happen. It's human nature to have emotions, and in this case where passion is literally involved, those emotions always come through somehow, somewhere, sometime.

[dfds]

[s]Unregisted User waiting to ex-laid wrote on 09:25, 7th Jan 2003:
What do you all think about sex with an ex? As a general rule, is it okay in order to defuse all that tension or is it the kind of thing that no good can come of? (No pun intended.)




ARSE

[The_Farwall]

[s]Unregisted User dfds wrote on 20:18, 11th Jan 2003:ARSE


Sorry? Does that mean you're for or against? Or was that just a style preference?

[hr]
[s]"I wanna do great things
I don't wanna compromise
I wanna know what love is
Is it something I do to myself?"
Echobelly - Great Things[/s]

[HappyMe]

This is a bad idea, remember why they are now an ex.

[ChampagneChe]

Don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it don't do it.

[rubbermuffin]

Can I join in?

[The_Farwall]

[s]rubbermuffin wrote on 13:04, 13th Jan 2003:
Can I join in?

The conversation or the sex?

[hr]
[s]"I wanna do great things/ I don't wanna compromise
I wanna know what love is/ Is it something I do to myself?"
Echobelly - Great Things[/s]

[waiting...]

Hmm. Well, I kinda did it before I got all these stern warnings as, as you all predicted, it was a big mistake. Now we're not speaking. I should stick to mindless flinging rebound sex only I can't find any of that in St Andrews. It's funny that a silly thing like sex can screw things up so royally.

[Cathy]

I had sex with an ex in my first year - problem was, I still liked him and he just wanted sex! That then resulted in ex deciding that we were getting too close and running off leaving me rather upset and friendship ruined.
Incidentally, he started going out with my best friend a year later and now she doesn't talk to me because she finds it too wierd that we were going out and she knew how much I liked him and thinks I still do...
Moral is... sex with ex... avoid at all costs - only bad can come from it!

"Old flames are dead matches"

[anonymous to protect the guilty]

[s]Unregisted User Cathy wrote on 20:39, 15th Jan 2003:
I had sex with an ex in my first year - problem was, I still liked him and he just wanted sex!


The problem here is not ex-sex as such, but two people wanting different things from a relationship. That's a problem wether its an ex or a current partner. Ex, or friendship, sex CAN work but ONLY if both parties feel the same way (ie its purely a physical thing - and a better option than Playboy + Kleenex!). If one person is lying to the other (or themself) then its going to go wrong. At a guess, I'd say the majority of times ANY sex (not just ex-sex) causes emotional problems, it is because of this.

[Guest]

To quote Samantha from sex and the city:

'Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore; if it's bad, you just had sex with an ex.'

[NicC]

*coughsplutterchoke*

Just say No, kids.

Invariably one or other of you will have more emotional investment in it than is healthy, will take it as encouragement that somehow the relationship might resume... No; that way lies bunny-boiling and other such stalkage. Not good.


Nic


[hr]"'Our Mrs Peel in Ladies Underwear'. I rattled up the stairs three at a time..."
--Steed, The Avengers

Soldier in the War on the Brain since October 2002

[rae]

Bunny boiling? Does that mean you too read that awful book that came free with Red magazine back in September? I can't remember the title (something 'Cupid'?) but it was BAD. And a surprising amount of people seem to have read it anyway, me included.

Anyway, on the ex sex note, nah I don't it's ever a good idea. You have to remember why you're not together any more. And it can get ugly. And who wants to tell their friends that they got with their ex anyway? Think of the horror on their faces and run the other way!

[The Kaiser]

Film ref, dahling - whatever-it's-called with Michael Douglas and Glenn Close.

[rae]

Oh. I feel dumb. Or literate. No, mostly dumb.

[skoal]

shouldn't sex be more than just a romp?! why would you want to have sex with someone you don't care about? and if you care about them and they don't care about you then you are just begging for a kick in the face with a golf shoe!!!

[Biitchboy]

[s]Unregisted User skoal wrote on 20:32, 16th Jan 2003:
shouldn't sex be more than just a romp?! why would you want to have sex with someone you don't care about?

Sex is sex. It doesn't require love, just lust. And as for sex with an ex, well I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm still friends with my ex, and we still have sex sometimes, and why not? The sex is good, and wasn't the reason we split up... Neither of us want anything more so it works. I think in those circumstances then there is nothing wrong with it...


[hr]
"Everybody knows that boys are bitches"
Rachel Stamp.