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by **spirit** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 10:15 am

okay controversial title...I don't know if its just me speaking out my sick mind or whether this is common underneath the masks of lots of students here and should be taken seriously. I'm still a virgin, and I'm a guy. okay laugh all you want, but at this age guys have their testosterone level reaching their peak as far as sexual drive is concerned, and feeling deprived of this (mating, that is) is quite unhealthy in a way. And I don't like treating girls like dirt by just using them and chucking them in the bin afterwards like a packet of sweets, this guy has a personality but also is suffering from social phobia. Views on sex is that it should be with someone you are close to and not someone you met 5 mins at the bar. I fear perhaps my mind is becoming sick in feeling this 'need', but I just hope I am wrong and there is a way to let out these sometimes tense feelings of this need to mate (and no, masturbation is OUT OF THE QUESTION!!). After all we are animals and mating is a natural biological function, on the other hand it is a very personal thing to share with when with another person and raises ethical issues. Please no rude responces as this is a serious topic for discussion. I wouldn't mind meeting an attractive girl, just don't like to be viewed as some predator like other men. Meeting people as well is a problem as I suffer from a social phobia or anxiety when thrown into the social scene.

by **Greebo** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 10:21 am

and no, masturbation is OUT OF THE QUESTION!!

...why?

by **Blessed Benediction** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 10:58 am

someone who's feeling such desperation for mating yet has wanking 'out of the question' (in BOLD) strikes me as somewhat odd. is it the intimacy, the orgasm or all three you want?

Do you require casual but vaguely meaningful sex then? frankly this seems slightly worse then wanking off. it seems that the sex is the main thing & the friendship is just a required field to justify the sex.

It is shite that there are blokes that will use once & throw away but often that's what the girls seem to want anyway, it's certainly not all one way.

it's just a question of whether you want to uphold your morals or whether you want to get laid. it seems like having your cake & eating it is something that isn't always an option.

i agree with you to a good respect in that i just wouldn't feel terribly right in fucking a girl for the sake of the fuck but then my politeness prevents me from a number of things which perhaps i should do.

as for the mating bit, then please clear up what you mean here. it comes across as though you wish to reproduce. is this true or would you rather there be no conception involved?

anyway good luck. it probably would be easier if we were animals but then again we're not really animals in many a sense. animals have an even rougher time often.

[hr]watches should have a smiley face on them as it's always time to be happy

by **Greebo** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 11:02 am

[s]Blessed Benediction wrote on 10:58, 1st Mar 2003:
(in BOLD)

That wasn't bold
That was CAPS
This is bold

by **RRankin** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 11:13 am

[s]Greebo wrote on 11:02, 1st Mar 2003:
[s]Blessed Benediction wrote on 10:58, 1st Mar 2003:[i]
(in BOLD)

That wasn't bold
That was CAPS
This is bold
[/i]

My god... Anal Retentiveness taken to an extreme

by **Blessed Benediction** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 11:15 am

good point, thanks

[hr]watches should have a smiley face on them as it's always time to be happy

by **Curiosity Killed the Cat** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 11:45 am

Well, from my experience, women seem to be just as sexually predatory as men, if not more, we just seem to have less of a reputation for it!!!
So, why don't you let yourself get taken for a 'ride' by seem predatory female?
Ok, not the most romantic idea, but call me cynical, sex is just sex. The act itself is not particularly intimate, more the person who you are doin it with.
I've just realised that this all sounds very vague and probably a pile rubbish - but heh! :-p

by **rr12** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 11:59 am

http://www.realdoll.com/

Heres the solution but you may need a job to get a couple of grand together.

by **Blessed Benediction** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 12:05 pm

why get a job? surely you could just go on the dole.

*ba-dum ching*

[hr]watches should have a smiley face on them as it's always time to be happy

by **ambigous** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 12:45 pm

Hanging around isn't going to change stuff massively. You actually need to get out and meet lots of people. Sure, there are several girls who would happily leap into bed with you after meeting you at the bar.
But there are also people in St Andrews who aren't that straight forward. But saying basically you just want sex isn't really the way you get what you want.
If you want a loving relationship, then surely sex is just a part of that, and may come with time. And believe it or not, although sex can be good, it isn't all its cracked up to be..
But why are you so bothered about it anyway? If you just want to meet someone now, then you actually aren't too bothered about a relationship, more about what you can personally get. If you want that kind of thing, its not too hard to get that in the bop.

But if you want to make time to put together a proper relationship, then you
should make the time to get to know someone. When you get to the stage where there is someone you would do anything for then you are in the right stage for a relationship. Take as long as you want to - last time I was really crazy about someone, it took me a year and a half to get around to asking her out. I know thats probably too long, but I'm making a point. Don't rush into anything.
And don't beat yourself up either.
Just take your time..

[hr]
Hey, don't give yourelf up yet, it's only in your head you feel left out, and looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can..

by **ghettogirl** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 12:52 pm

Well said. This is so completely off the point but do i detect a fellow member of the jimmy eat world appreciation society? I must confess i love them like brothers.

by **Greebo** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 12:58 pm

Please no rude responces as this is a serious topic for discussion.

Oh well....nice try, you got 2

by **Dee** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 1:11 pm

If intimacy/friendship is your goal the usual advice bandied about is to try to get to know people in your hall by starting to talk to them at dinner time, or to join a society/sports club and get to know people with shared interests. The latter would be my favourite (although the society you pick can alter effectiveness of this stratagem - the Christian Societies for instance tend to be filled with people who'll come over and talk to you quite spontaneously - I'm not sure if you get "social members" of the CU however so perhaps this recommendation is of limited value). At any rate they're both ways of getting to know people, and a logical first step towards finding a partner.

If it's just sex, I'd recommend lots of fresh air, cold showers, jogging, morning dips in the sea, meditation upon higher truths, taking up tai chi or yoga, and of course self flagellation to beat out these wicked desires. :-)

by **MercuryAnna** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 1:20 pm

If you have a social phobia and anxiety, I'm wondering how much social interaction you have.

You know, it's easy to do without sex, but a life without friends, people to confide in and share experiences with and all that... that's a bit more difficult. (Probably why you're posting this anonymously on a forum, come to think of it.)

If you're lacking both sex and platonic relationships, but only really feeling the pain of being un-laid, maybe you should re-evalutate your priorities. If you can't connect with people on a simple, friendly level, you'll never get a meaningful fuck.

Ha ha, and listen to Mary Prankster's "Mercyfuck". That song is great.

by **Rennie** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 1:20 pm

Look mate, the sinner isn't the place to get these problems solved. Either go to a) a counsellor - i'm sure there's loads kicking around St Andrews or b) the Bop. there's normally enough pissed girls in there that you havea good chance of pulling. And anyway, it's quite dark.

by **Blessed Benediction** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 1:25 pm

someone who finds getting with members of the opposite sex difficult, often find it's when they're least looking for it when opportunities come along.

the 1st step is to be happy (& be at peace with yourself) & then stuff like confidence comes & then you might not have to put in so much effort to find someone. of course to be happy & settled is quite difficult but that's what friends are for.

& if someone has difficulty finding friends then there's always the good old internet, which has proved useful to many over the years.

[hr]watches should have a smiley face on them as it's always time to be happy

by **rubbermuffin** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 1:43 pm

Are you a christian?

[hr]
'When I finally got down off the radiator and went out to the hat-check room, I was crying and all. I don't know why, but I was. I guess it was because I was feeling so damn depressed and lonesome.'

by **Prophet Tenebrae** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 1:50 pm

*refrains from any comments on Christians*

Me and self-restraint, who would have thought it?

Anyway...yeah, you should have come to the Sinner night out. That would solve all your problems.

by **Cola Cube** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 1:59 pm

[s]ambigous wrote on 12:45, 1st Mar 2003:
And believe it or not, although sex can be good, it isn't all its cracked up to be..

How so?

by **ambigous** on Sat Mar 01, 2003 3:21 pm

[s]ghettogirl wrote on 12:52, 1st Mar 2003:
do i detect a fellow member of the jimmy eat world appreciation society

absolutely

oh, and sex is about someone you love, and where as it is quite good with anyone, its fantastic with someone you love (apparently)

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