Barstaff Rant

[Hennessy]

Sorry I've got a couple of things to get off my chest about serving people in a bar.

1. If you have been served at a bar, move the fuck away from the bar, especially if there are people behind you wanting a drink. I don't mind people leaning on the bar when the place is dead, but show some courtesy to your fellow drinkers.

2. If you havent reached the bar yet, shouting "3 pints of tennents" over the shoulders of three guys at the bar waiting to be served is just plain rude.

3. Standing at the bar and ordering ten drinks, one after the other as each one is prepared, makes you look like an unforgivable twat. If you have a large order just say it in nice 3 drink divisions to give the barstaff time to calculate and make you look less selfish.

4. Have your money ready if the place is busy. Counting out coppers on a bar which is heaving is so fucking arrogant it makes me want to slap you. Equally if there is a big sign saying "cash only", do not try and give me your credit card after a large order unless you are illiterate and need me to communicate the lack of PIN machines through the medium of interpretive dance. Or I could just give you a big hat with a "D" on it.

5. If you say "rum and coke" when you order, do not quibble about the type of rum you get with your order as you haven't bothered to specify which rum you want. That's what brand names are for, use them if you want Morgans rather than Bacardi.

6. Never, fucking ever, say "Surprise Me", as if I will then go and make you the best drink ever just because you're so awesome. Equally if you do say "Surprise Me", don't expect I'm going to make you something cheap, in all probability I'll make you something with a nice round number, as it eases the mental arithmetic I have to do with all the drink you've ordered, most of which you'll probably see again at some point during the night.

There is more, but I can't think of it right now...

[CheeseDaddy]

bad night last night?

[Hennessy]

Someone called me "boy". Yeah bad night last night. Hopefully etiquette will prevail amongst all those reading this thread.

[Haunted]

All 5 of us

[Hennessy]

Frank's post got 603 views!

[Haunted]

Thats just my F5 key

[lizzie_liz]

Well said Hennessy, particularly the whole having your money ready. It is obvious that you have to pay for your drink so can you not at the least have your purse/wallet out rather than spending 5-10 minutes rummaging around to find it when in that time i could have served several other customers.
Also please know what you want to order when we come to serve you rather umming for 5 minutes.

AND its Snakebite BLACK or DIESEL if you want your snakebite to have blackcurrent in it.

[Duggeh]

People who order Guinness at the end of a 7 drink order should go to prison for 6 months.

[Easy tiger!]

Bitterness much? Chill out guys. Maybe the Sinner's not the place to be ranting with such fervour?

[Guest]

Or - heres an idea - you could always just do your job?
Lots of people work in bars (myself included) and you just deal with it.

From a customer point of view:

1) Smile when you take my order and don't look offended if I order a long list of drinks. You are being paid to serve people - so just do it.

2) If you pull a pint that is more head than beer - dont give it to me. I did notice and I do mind.

3) If I am frustrated because you haven't served me in ages, its because you aren't managing your queue well and are unaware of whats going on. That is your fault - not mine.

4) Please don't give me my change by slapping in down on a wet bar - its not big and its not clever.

If customer service isnt for you, then get a different job, or stop moaning about it! Just get on with it as the majority of us manage to do.

[Anon.]

And DON'T put lemon in a gin and tonic. I suppose it's just about OK if they've no other fruit, but some bar staff do this even when there's cut lime there ready and waiting!

[Hennessy]

You seem to forget that most of the people barstaff have to deal with are steadily getting more and more drunk, which hinders common sense, communication skills, and in some people the ability to simply count. I'd like to add a couple of points to my OP.

1. If you come to the bar and order drinks, check you have the money in your wallet first. It's not my job to check you have the money in your wallet, it's my job to serve you drinks. Yelling loudly for four alcopops then ifinding with dismay you havent even got a pound on you, and nor does your girlfriend, does not make a swift and easy transaction.

2. If I say I don't have something behind the bar, please take this as fact and don't look at me like I'm trying to hide something. There is nothing as pathetic as a suspicious drunk demanding straws loudly when none are left, or quibbling about change when he can't tell a £2 coin from a £1 coin.

Of course I'm not talking about the majority of customers, who are a lovely bunch. But some people obviously never learned any pub etiquette. Unsurprisingly the most arrogant of customers arent usually regulars of my favourite pubs, perhaps preferring the golfier bit of town. Plus it's always the encounters with these people which puts you off your stride when dealing with others.

[Duggeh]

And DON'T put lemon in a gin and tonic. I suppose it's just about OK if they've no other fruit, but some bar staff do this even when there's cut lime there ready and waiting!

A proper gin and tonic should contain neither fruit nor ice. Excepting a concession to those who like cucumber in their Hendricks.

[crystalclear]

where is it you actually work? cos if its the vic then u dont hav a leg to stand on... the barstaff in the vic are unbelievably crap. like, shockingly so. i'm pretty sure one of them was actually drunk while serving me the other night.

[Super Jock]

From what I've heard the bar staff in the vic are treated absolute crap.

[Delts]

If you ever drop a glass that shatters, don't then kick the shards across the floor. And especially don't complain when you then get glass in your shoe. It makes me want to take the broken glass and put it in other places of your person.

[Idle]

Sorry I've got a couple of things to get off my chest about serving people in a bar.

1. If you have been served at a bar, move the fuck away from the bar, especially if there are people behind you wanting a drink. I don't mind people leaning on the bar when the place is dead, but show some courtesy to your fellow drinkers.

2. If you havent reached the bar yet, shouting "3 pints of tennents" over the shoulders of three guys at the bar waiting to be served is just plain rude.

3. Standing at the bar and ordering ten drinks, one after the other as each one is prepared, makes you look like an unforgivable twat. If you have a large order just say it in nice 3 drink divisions to give the barstaff time to calculate and make you look less selfish.

4. Have your money ready if the place is busy. Counting out coppers on a bar which is heaving is so fucking arrogant it makes me want to slap you. Equally if there is a big sign saying "cash only", do not try and give me your credit card after a large order unless you are illiterate and need me to communicate the lack of PIN machines through the medium of interpretive dance. Or I could just give you a big hat with a "D" on it.

5. If you say "rum and coke" when you order, do not quibble about the type of rum you get with your order as you haven't bothered to specify which rum you want. That's what brand names are for, use them if you want Morgans rather than Bacardi.

6. Never, fucking ever, say "Surprise Me", as if I will then go and make you the best drink ever just because you're so awesome. Equally if you do say "Surprise Me", don't expect I'm going to make you something cheap, in all probability I'll make you something with a nice round number, as it eases the mental arithmetic I have to do with all the drink you've ordered, most of which you'll probably see again at some point during the night.

There is more, but I can't think of it right now...

Pretty good rant there. My experiences in a pub doesn't seemed to be as bad as yours. There were always some people who would take hours to get their money out or coint out the cost in 2 pences. I also agree with another poster that people who order Guinness last should suffer for their crime!

[munchingfoo]

I think perhaps we need to qualify Hennesy's post (first four points) with the introduction "These rules apply only to a busy bar". If you get annoyed when people do this during a quiet period then you should find a new profession.

Sometimes it's nice to walk into a quiet bar and peruse their wares before deciding, adding an extra drink on the end after longer thought (yes, even if it is Guinness) and not knowing how much it comes to, but still wanting to pay with as correct change as you can manage. I also like to stand at the bar and chat to the other people standing at the bar in quietish pubs. For me, this makes a nice trip to a pub for a Sunday beer, if I had to be as regimental in ordering as I was on a Friday and Saturday night it just wouldn't be the same.

Does anyone have any objections to my reasoning?

[Hennessy]

No and to be fair I should have qualified that myself. Most of what I said applies only when the bar is busy and there are lots of people waiting to be served. If it's quiet then it's all just banter and I don't mind if you order twenty drinks with a guinness on the end.

[beeny]

I agree with OP's comments and would like to add my own as a waitress AND bar maid (lucky me):

I know you're a student and want your wee cheapy lunch but when I see you pay for a glass of tap water and a burger with a £20 note AND you don't leave a tip even though it's quite obvious I'm also an impoverished student (hence the part time job) it's just plain rude.

I know tips are optional but it's really just common courtesy, especially if I have to run around like an arse because you can;t ask for ketchup, mayo and vinegar in one go, prompting me to make 3 trips to your table. If you can't follow restaurant etiquette, eat at home - it's even cheaper, you tight-arse.