Comedy Injuries.

[medea]

Let's hear about your amusing injury stories. Here's mine:

In July I was playing golf with my brother in Torquay (of all places) and totally miss hit my ball into some trees about 3m away from where I teed off.

My brother did totally the same shot, except it went into my knee cap instead of the trees.

Did anyone rush over to help me? (bearing in mind it had knocked me off my feet.) Oh no. Everyone was rolling around on the floor in hysterics.

This week I have found out that said golf ball actually chipped my knee cap. Cheers bro.

I laugh through the pain.

[Cain]

I had two of my lower teeth knocked out with a hockey stick because, even though I was a striker, i tracked back to help defend, and came in on the wrong side.

If I wasn't wearing a gumshield, i'd have lost four or five teeth.

I might have laughed at some point. in between the swearing.

[hr]
I hold an element of surprise

[Chippy]

I have a good one to share. Last summer myself and several drinking buddys went to the beach to have a party. This party included a big ass fire and plenty of petrol. After much consumotion of alcohol it became a bit of a game to jump over the fire. For a while it was quite cool and everyone was taking running jumps and dives etc. One time when i was jumping over it some fat drunk idiot decided it was time to top up the fire with some petrol which he poured exactly at the time i was midflight. So my right leg got splashed and ultimately ignited. however i didnt notcie immediatley and after completing the jump rather successfully i turned round to see everyone shouting at me. Then i notice i'm in flames. As the saying goes drop n roll and all will be well, and the flames went out leaving me with some scorched jeans and no hair on that leg at all, no burns thankfully.
And thats my story, let it be a lesson to you all

[EviLTwiN]

i cut vegetations thumb off in a door... they sewed it back on...

i put a 6ft axe straight thru a rotten tree stump and smacked vegetations knee-cap (he wa standing behind me).

vegetation had tried to kill me at birth so fairs fair.


I also played indoor hockey, jumped over goalkeeper to try and back-stick a cross across the face of the goal, and went head first at sprinting pace into the only piece of wall without crash mat padding on them. :S Taken to hospital and not able to move head for a while

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[Rennie]

Who is vegetation?

[Valen_gr]

veg the evil twin #2 i think....

[Thackary]

The good twin...


PS - who did I meet today?

[Cain]

[s]Thackary wrote on 19:58, 11th Oct 2003:
The good twin...


visited http://www.the-eviltwin.co.uk/ yet?

very odd site.

i'm not sure which twin I am. i think that i have a darker side than big brother.

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I hold an element of surprise

[EviLTwiN]

vegetation posts on the sinner sometimes... not so often anymore tho.... and i think you must've met veg today...

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[gingerbeer]

When I was seven my mum shut the car door on one of my fingers and the door closed so firmly that it locked. Looking back on it, many people thought this was funny afterwards, but I didn't, even though I was incredibly lucky not to break any bones.

[hr]It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.
-Terry Pratchett

[Thackary]

I once shut my hand in a car door - I didn't realise I'd trapped it until I noticed I couldn't pull my fingers back into the car. The knuckles swelled to twice their normal size, but at the time it didn't hurt a bit.

[medea]

When my brother was about 8 he was playing footy with a mate and kicked the ball into a tree where it got stuck between 2 branches.

(You can see what's coming here...)

So, the clever little bunny, threw a brick up into the tree to get the ball out and didn't have the common sense to stand well out of the way as both came crashing down to earth.

The ball to the floor, the brick on his head. Fool. Obviously numerous head staples ensued. Dammed funny though.

[Cain]

[s]medea wrote on 11:14, 12th Oct 2003:
When my brother was about 8 he was playing footy with a mate and kicked the ball into a tree where it got stuck between 2 branches.


the last time that that happened to us, a spear was thrown at it and it came back down without any problems.

mind you, we were 18, and thus smart enough to stay away from falling spears.

[hr]
I hold an element of surprise

[nova]

When I was 15 I jumped through a plate glass French window because I didn't see it. Rather embarrassingly there is no reason why I should not have seen it, given that the window was in my own house. A house I had lived in for ten years. To this day I don't know what possessed me to run through the window without looking to see if anyone had actually bothered to open it, but I do know that I lost several pints of blood, sliced off part of my scalp, put a large gash in my leg, and got 23 stitches in my arm for my troubles. Oh, and I got a ride in an ambulance to Harlow general hospital , where they tried to remove glass from my arm without using any anasthetic before deciding that i needed surgery. Is that enough comedy for you? My friends still laugh at me.

[hr]"I slopped at the corner on cold chow mein and shot billiards with a midget until the rain stopped."

Tom Waits.

[Valen_gr]

I was once cycling down a hill with a friend on the back of the bike,which makes it harder to steer(namely, turn in time to avoid stuff)

So when we reached the bottom of the road, sharp turn follows which we knew about but did not know of the MASSIVE mountain of lime used for a nearby construction site placed halfay across the street.So, naturally, we see it, scream like hell before plunging into it bike and all.I can say that lime (the gooey white stuff) gives you skin burns and can leave you blind if you get it in your eyes.We had to swimm/wade out, totaly covered in white goop and walk like fools all the way back home(trailing a wrecked bike..) enduring people's pointed fingers and hysterical laughs....

[Cain]

[s]Valen_gr wrote on 14:25, 12th Oct 2003:
We had to swimm/wade out, totaly covered in white goop and walk like fools all the way back home(trailing a wrecked bike..) enduring people's pointed fingers and hysterical laughs....


point and laugh? i might do that the next time i see you. in about 5 minutes

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I hold an element of surprise

[Valen_gr]

Oh thanks Cain, i will feel sooo much nicer then

[mossop]

I gave myself an eye infection once. I got home after a few shandies *ahem* and remembered that it might actually be a good idea to take out my contact lenses before I went to bed. So I'm standing over the sink and got the right one out ok, but I couldn't actually pull my left lens out. So I'm poking at my eye, which was getting redder and redder, and screaming at my fiance to come and see if he could still see it in my eye, which he couldn't for the water and gunk now coming out of my tearduct! So by this point I'm getting ready to go to hospital because I thought I could feel it, but couldn't pull it out. Anyway, my man goes to the loo and shouts me through and there's this lens lying on the floor by the sink - it had fallen out already and was crispy because it was too dry! I hate to think what it was that I was trying to pull off of my eye....Anyway, next day, I woke up and my eye was bright red and very sore. So moral of the story? Don't get drunk when wearing contact lenses....

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[Anon.]

That's not so much comedy as just plain mingin.

[Mr Comedy]

In fresher week last year, I fell down the moat of St Andrews castle, and hit my knee into the wall fo the castle, cracking my kneecap in half. I couldn't walk for 3 weeks. Oh, the wonders of drink!