Sex

[Henry]

Sometimes I wonder, I really wonder. Is sex supposed to be romantic, or is it simply something designed to satisfy people's lust after a night's drinking? My conundrum is, if you have sex with someone after too much to drink, and then try to contact them afterwrds, but they don't reply for a week, is this usual? Is it kind of taken for granted that it was a one-off. Or are people just such bastards that they don't attach any consequences whatsoever to their actions, however much it meant at the time?

[Pilmour Boy]

Surely it depends on whom it is with?

[tintin]

Yes, I get the impression that "Henry" is out of touch with the superficiality of modern life. Of course casual sex is *meaningless* - gone are the days when people would end yup marrying after this sort of thing occurred.

[benedict]

you just got fucked over. it happens. try & learn from it & also try not to get too caught up in the emotions. if you are caught up then then get it all out at once & then you should be ok after a bit of time.

[Guest]

tintin, i understand what you are saying but what if it is our primal nature to have sex as often as we like and with as many nameless/faceless people as we can? i mean would you really want to go back to how it was?think about all of the constraints people were under as little as 20-30 years ago. and even though, libral views of sexuality are probably at their peak right now, people can finally have sex and not have any strings attached because lets face it, men and women alike need a quick fix every now and then. but women i think get burned more often because we are more into the psychological aspect of sex than the "get-in get-out" mentality that guys have. (not all mind you!)but this new found era of causal sex with no strings does seem to have put a strain on relationships or the lack there of but think about how much it has liberated people to live...and learn too.

i mean, did you know that parents sent their daughters away for a year to a home for unwed mothers when they got pregnant but the guy got off scott free to go shag whom ever else came along. crazy, huh? Anywho, maybe, it's a good thing and it will help people settle into marriage better because they have "been there done that" and are now ready to do the whole monogomy thing and have a family. BUT then again too much freedom could be the downfall of marriage and commited relationships as we know it...

[Guest]

After what might be considered a one night stand i deffinately don't want to see the person again if i get to feel like a slut. If you were serious about her you definately should have said something earlier that this was not a mistake after a night of drinking for you. Like in the morning is usually a good time to mention something. It is quite possibler for a one night stand to turn into a relationship it's just not likey. Odds are definately against you.

[Tweety]

[s]Henry wrote on 21:03, 3rd Dec 2003:
Sometimes I wonder, I really wonder. Is sex supposed to be romantic, or is it simply something designed to satisfy people's lust after a night's drinking?

Depends on one's belief and idea of sex but I personally happen to believe that sex is an act of love that should only be done when two people are in love. So, yes, for me, sex is supposed to be romantic. It might seem outdated or naive to some people but that's just my take.

[/i]
Or are people just such bastards that they don't attach any consequences whatsoever to their actions, however much it meant at the time?
[/i]

Umm... I liked how you put this question. I wouldn't use the word you used but it seems like some people are just too "carefree." I don't know why they do these things and I cannot speak for them.

I just thought I might help you with your wondering. I'm new, by the way, and it's weird to have my first reply on this topic.

Hello everyone!

[Henry]

OK, perhaps "bastards" was too strong a term to use (especially of a girl!!). I guess I jsut felt bitter about what had happened.

I've taken on board people's constructive comments - thankyou.

[christian_harris]

I have to say that I feel in a distinct minority here in St. Andrews, as well as in general, in that I am quite opposed to going out on the pull. For me, even kissing someone is an important thing that shouldn't be rushed into, never mind having sex with someone

[ane]

it's nice to hear guys write this. I was starting to think here all guys are only looking for sex or girlfriends with no genuine interest in the persons. There seem to be an awful lot of people who think this is normal, but I've never liked to do stuff like this and never will.

Why? It's not for strong moral convictions, not even romantic ideals. Quite frankly, I like my body, and I don't see why I would let some random guy touch it. For me it is something very special to let someone close to me, hug him, kiss him etc. and I reserve this right to the guys who are very special to me. If someone is goodlooking and nice enough to have sex with I dono't understand why there should be no further interest in seeing that person again. On the other hand, if he's not good enough to want to see again, then why have sex in the first place? It's a mystery to me.

[turtle]

[s]christian_harris wrote on 16:14, 4th Dec 2003:
I have to say that I feel in a distinct minority here in St. Andrews, as well as in general, in that I am quite opposed to going out on the pull. For me, even kissing someone is an important thing that shouldn't be rushed into, never mind having sex with someone


I have to agree. Any other way just seems like some kind of injustice to the other person. And the minority bit: I didn't realise this until recently, but it really does appear that way. But i could just be looking at things the wrong way.

[Wong]

We're in the minority, perhaps, but we're not alone.

[Guest]

i agree with you christian...

[Tweety]

[s]Henry wrote on 14:47, 4th Dec 2003:
OK, perhaps "bastards" was too strong a term to use (especially of a girl!!). I guess I jsut felt bitter about what had happened.

I've taken on board people's constructive comments - thankyou.


It's not hard to understand why you feel that way. You are welcome. I hope you feel better about this whole thing.

[Guest]

It's called libido..or hormones..you don't have to have a genuine interest in getting to know a person to want to have sex with them. Hell, you can hate a person and still want to have sex with them, just because you're horny. Whether it's a good judgement call or not is another matter.

[AR]

People should just do what they want. No reason to judge anyone for wanting to go out on the pull, and same goes for people who are looking for relationships. It's all personal preference.
But I also think sometimes it seems like there are more people interested in only sex because if you go out to a bar on a weekend night there's going to always be a number of aggressive people who make it seem that way

[AR]

People should just do what they want. No reason to judge anyone for wanting to go out on the pull, and same goes for people who are looking for relationships. It's all personal preference.
But I also think sometimes it seems like there are more people interested in only sex because if you go out to a bar on a weekend night there's going to always be a number of aggressive people who make it seem that way

[highway_to_hell1982]

Sex is a natural biological process. It does not matter how many of the opposite gender we go to bed with, we cannot help who we are. We are human, humans reproduce, so don't both crying over its ethics and religious philosophies that it is wrong etc because thats just BS. Its part of our life, period. You cannot help but be what you are.

[hohoho]

[s]Unregisted User wrote on 02:57, 5th Dec 2003:
It's called libido..or hormones..you don't have to have a genuine interest in getting to know a person to want to have sex with them. Hell, you can hate a person and still want to have sex with them, just because you're horny. Whether it's a good judgement call or not is another matter.


Some people have the self respect not to shag random people. The best people are often the ones prepared to wait, especially guys as it is so much harder to find guys like that.

And I would never want to have sex with someone I hated, only someone I loved very much. At least it's good to see that there are some poeple who aren't so shallow.

[highway_to_hell1982]

[s]Unregisted User hohoho wrote on 15:30, 5th Dec 2003:
[s]Unregisted User wrote on 02:57, 5th Dec 2003:[i]
It's called libido..or hormones..you don't have to have a genuine interest in getting to know a person to want to have sex with them. Hell, you can hate a person and still want to have sex with them, just because you're horny. Whether it's a good judgement call or not is another matter.


Some people have the self respect not to shag random people. The best people are often the ones prepared to wait, especially guys as it is so much harder to find guys like that.

And I would never want to have sex with someone I hated, only someone I loved very much. At least it's good to see that there are some poeple who aren't so shallow.
[/i]



Not shallow, just facing the true facts, nomatter how cold they are.