Filthy Sean

[Sleigh]

This board is dying on its arse, isn't it? Anyway...

A man, Mr Connery, is sitting behind a desk in his office. A knock is heard at the door.
Mr C: Come, enter.
A young man in a suit walks in and stands in front of the chair near Mr C’s desk.
Mr C: Ah, you musht be the applicant.
Mr Smith: Yes, Mr Smith. Nice to meet you.
Mr C: Pleashe, take a sheat.
The man looks around nervously and, spotting a pile of paper on Mr C’s desk, grabs a sheet of it.
Mr C: What the Hell are you doing, lad?
Mr Smith: I-I’m doing what you told me, taking a sheet.
Mr C: No, no, no. Shit! Go on!
Mr Smith: What…here? Now? In front of you? He looks puzzled.
Mr C: Of course! We can’t have you getting a shore arshe can we? He laughs. Sho we musht get you shitting! Shit on that chair!
Mr Smith: B-but that’s revolting!
Mr C: Why? I’ve shat there many a time – it doesh wondersh for the backshide, I tell you.
Mr Smiths stares at the chair with disgust.
Mr C: Why sho fusshy, lad? I’ll shit anywhere that’ll shupport my arshe, I will. Be it on a log, on a wall, or even on the lap of a beautiful woman, if you get my drift…
Mr Smith: And…they let you do that?
Mr C: Of courshe! There’sh not much that shounds better at a party than shaying “Shean Connery” shat on my lap! Beshidesh, didn’t you ever shit on your parentsh’ lap?
Mr Smith: No, I most certainly did not! You are abysmal, you filthy old man!
Mr C: Me? You’re the one who’sh never even shat on his parentsh’ lap – what kind of shick family do you come from anyway?
Mr Smith runs out of the office. Breathless, he attempts communication with the secretary, failing miserably. He then points at Mr Connery’s door, shaking his head in disgust.
Secretary: It wasn’t the “shit” thing, was it?
Mr Smith: Y…Yes. How did you know?
Secretary: We get that all the time, basically. He was only asking you to sit down, y’know. After that you could’ve had the amazing, fantastic chance of joining his wanks.
Mr Smith gasps and then, seeing nowhere to flee, jumps out of the window, screaming.
Secretary: Wediculous, twuly wediculous.


[hr]When I read about the dangers of drinking, I gave up reading.

[Bonnie]

that was apalling
[hr]I love cheese.

[ed of the neds]

brilliant!

[Fawksie]

You should get a medal for services to thread necromancy, Ed.

[Legomancer eD]

lol whos you Fawksie?
But if you think this is bumping a dead horse then go on the Comedysoc Facebook group. The main maintainers are me, an ex-student, and the re-founder and ex-President Ann. What does it take to make people fucking post? (besides having something to post?)
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=4 ... 259&ref=mf