Hall of Fame!

[Amorphous]

Why? Because I'm bored, that's why, and NONE OF YOU HAVE THE POWER TO STOP ME! (Ahem.)

Welcome, one and all, to the Assassins Hall of Fame where we commemorate those who made outstanding contributions to the science of killing or, alternately, those who screwed up a little bit.

Trial Run 2006

Master Assassins:
804 (3 kills)
Red5 (3 kills)

Wanted Assassins:
Dakota
Airbiscuit

Incompetent Assassins:
007
Noodles


Assassins 2: The Return (2006)

...who can say? The current leader is Wessex with two kills but we have a number of disputed kills on the books at the moment so it's difficult to say much more! As of yet there are no Wanted or Incompetent Players, but a word of warning to those who've done nothing yet: the clock is ticking...

[Frank]

By my count I make it that we have three Master Assassins currently.

805, Red 5 and Wessex, freshly coated in the blood of Raphanizein...

It's almost as if the plan is unfolding exactly as desired...

[hr]

"There is only ever one truth. Things are always black or white, there's no such thing as a shade of grey. If you think that something is a shade of grey it simply means that you don't fully understand the situation. The truth is narrow and the path of the pursuit of truth is similarly narrow."

[Amorphous]

Well, at the moment that only makes him our current Master Assassin. He'll be a REAL Master Assassin if he's:
a) alive
b) still in possession of most kills

...by the end of the game.

[Amorphous]

Following one of the reports from earlier today, I nominate Pegasus for the coveted (and brand new) "Highest Number Of Attempts Without Actually Killing Anybody" award. His attempts:kills ratio is currently 2:0, thereby working out to be infinity.

Keep stalking, Pegasus!

[Amorphous]

Another record:
Fastest Wiping-Out Of An Entire Incompetence List (by whatever means) - 4 hours and 17 minutes

The individuals involved know who they are!

[Amorphous]

That's right: the votes are in, the counts have been done twice, and I have a lab report that I am pretending is not due in for this Friday. These can mean only one thing: it is time for Assassins Awards 2006!


Master Assassin, awarded to the last surviving player:
Wild Bill


Most Kills, awarded to (somewhat predictably) the player who killed the most other players:
Wessex, with 4 dead Assassins to his name.
Honourable Mention goes to Bullet_MaGnEt for 2 dead Assassins and 2 dead Hit Squad members.


Most Attempted Upon, awarded to the Assassin who others apparently most wanted dead:
The clear 'winner' here is Bullet_MaGnEt, with a total of 9 attempts on his life (the last one being successful) including Hit Squad efforts.
In an inverse sort of way, Honourable Mention goes to Wild Bill for being attempted upon only twice, one of which was quite dubious.


The Pacifist Award, awarded to the Assassin who got furthest without ever actually killing anybody:
Pegasus, who was so outstanding in this regard that in future we may posthumously honour him by naming it the Pegasus Award. Honestly, people, how does someone get to the final three (the top seventh of Assassins, if you will) without killing anyone?


The Sarcophagus Award, awarded to any Assassin involved in some kind of peculiar resurrection ceremony:
Countess Montagui, the only person in St Andrews Assassins history to have died twice (although not, curiously, the only one to have been resurrected - at least she didn't get as far as being buried, like poor 804 last year)
Honourable Mention in this category should probably go to Gumball who was maintained as a walking corpse for a number of days.


...More will follow when I can think of some more silly titles and people to give them to. Until such time as then, here are some basic stats:

Players: 21
Deaths: 28 (20 players, of which 1 died twice, 5 innocents, 2 Hit Squad members)
Length of game: precisely 4 weeks (from Monday 13th November to Monday 11th December)
Hit Squad members: 8
Lies, deception, corruption, avarice and vice: countless

[Amorphous]

As requested by... erm... someone (no offence to that person, I would indeed know your name if I could recall your face, but I'm blanking completely on who said it) at the social last night: the updated Hall of Fame!



ASSASSINS 3: LACKING A SNAPPY TITLE (someone did suggest 'Killing In The Name Of')


Master Assassin:
Ark


Most Kills:
Hypercube, for 2 Assassins and 4 Hit Squad (somehow managing to take out six people in only two distinct events)
Honourable Mention in this category should go to Wildcard, who took out 2 Assassins and 1 squaddie


Most Attempted Upon:
Beard, for five attempts on her life during the course of the game (three of which were by Ark)
If I'd counted every squad attempt in terms of people involved rather than just one event then chances are it would have been Hypercube, Aspasia, Turnip Farmer Man, Wildcard... in fact, you can probably see why I took the lazy route.


The Pegasus Award, given to the player who survived longest without actually killing anyone:
Beard
An Honourable Mention MIGHT be due to Turnip Farmer Man; he missed out on the award on the basis that he didn't actually do anything for the entire game other than get killed and send emails, and had he not been killed off by the Squad would probably have faced the same fate as Penny the Poo Inspector (Dishonourable Discharge) eventually.


The Sarcophagus Award:
Turnip Farmer Man, for his miraculous survival of a stab wound to the neck. Bloody med students.


...and that's it until I get bored and make up some more!

Players: 22 (18 Assassins, 1 Squad Leader, 3 direct-to-Squad late sign-ups)
Deaths: 21 (I think - 15 Assassins, 5 Squad members, 1 Dishonourable Discharge. The Honourable Discharge doesn't count!)
Game time: barely 2 and a half weeks!

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

[Amorphous]

As requested by... erm... someone (no offence to that person, I would indeed know your name if I could recall your face, but I'm blanking completely on who said it) at the social last night: the updated Hall of Fame!



ASSASSINS 3: LACKING A SNAPPY TITLE (someone did suggest 'Killing In The Name Of')


Master Assassin:
Ark


Most Kills:
Hypercube, for 2 Assassins and 4 Hit Squad (somehow managing to take out six people in only two distinct events)
Honourable Mention in this category should go to Wildcard, who took out 2 Assassins and 1 squaddie


Most Attempted Upon:
Beard, for five attempts on her life during the course of the game (three of which were by Ark)
If I'd counted every squad attempt in terms of people involved rather than just one event then chances are it would have been Hypercube, Aspasia, Turnip Farmer Man, Wildcard... in fact, you can probably see why I took the lazy route.


The Pegasus Award, given to the player who survived longest without actually killing anyone:
Beard
An Honourable Mention MIGHT be due to Turnip Farmer Man; he missed out on the award on the basis that he didn't actually do anything for the entire game other than get killed and send emails, and had he not been killed off by the Squad would probably have faced the same fate as Penny the Poo Inspector (Dishonourable Discharge) eventually.


The Sarcophagus Award:
Turnip Farmer Man, for his miraculous survival of a stab wound to the neck. Bloody med students.


...and that's it until I get bored and make up some more!

Players: 22 (18 Assassins, 1 Squad Leader, 3 direct-to-Squad late sign-ups)
Deaths: 21 (I think - 15 Assassins, 5 Squad members, 1 Dishonourable Discharge. The Honourable Discharge doesn't count!)
Game time: barely 2 and a half weeks!
Hit Squad: 14, including the Squad Leader. Ye gods.

[hr]

If Jack Bauer was put in a room with Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler and Nina Myers and handed a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.