It's Time For A War... ON MASTURBATION

[Prophet Tenebrae]

http://www.truechristian.com/masturbation.html

Let's lock these fiends up!

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IMAGE:www.btinternet.com/~brother.war/white10-2.gif

[flarewearer]

USA! USA! USA! USA!

[Duggeh]

[b] AMEN BROTHER!
.


Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't Masturbate.


the 5% who are over 75, dead or lost their dicks in vietnam.

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IMAGE:www.macintyre42.plus.com/images/tubular100.jpg
Duggeh: Master Of Ceremonies
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[s]http://www.macintyre42.plus.com[/s]
[s]http://www.owenrudge.net/various/freshers.htm[/s]

[the racing tortoise]

I was more amused by the line "but the point is that God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason".

that one had me in stiches. so monty python.

Edit: Ok the next part gets better, "3. Certain food. If we outlaw dildos and require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to Masturbate."

Classic


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minesweeper times:
Beginner: 3
Intermediate: 34
Expert: 163

A wasted life.

[ARTooD2]

ALL candles, no matter what their shape, must be banned. They're scraping the bottom of the barrel for things to ban there I think....

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Many Bothans died to bring you this information...

[ARTooD2]

3. Certain food. If we outlaw dildos and require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to Masturbate.


HAHAHAHA!

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Many Bothans died to bring you this information...

[Canandrew]

I like the kid's section on the page. With it's colourful drawings and straight-talking messiah, it's quite endearing in a 'Buddy Christ' kind of way.

[ARTooD2]

Is this site a piss take because the sausage cucumber and carrot thing CANNOT be real...

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Many Bothans died to bring you this information...

[mariposita]

If you have a wife like I do you should know there is a time of month where the woman spills blood in the night. What is this and what does it mean? Does it mean she is demon possessed or maybe she is having an orgasm. In all truth we all know women don't have orgasms. All women just lie on their backs and let you do your thing then you have a baby. Actually women hate sex and they usually cry during it as does my wife.


HAHAHA . . .yeah i bet she does cry . ..seriously, this site has to be a piss - take. it's completely insane.

[Aureliano]

IMAGE:www.truechristian.com/img/realgraph.gif

As you can all see, there is a clear proportionate relationship between the rise in crime and that of masturbation.

Aahhhh... statistics.

[Dave the Explosive Newt]

TRUE FACTS THAT ARE TRUE SINCE WE USED THE WORD TRUE WHICH MAKES THEM TRUE SINCE THEY ARE FACTS WHICH MEANS THEY ARE TRUE.
SUVs ~Emits air which makes trees and plants grow more plentifully. This ensures healthy people and a higher chance of being smart enough to become a Christian.
THE BIBLE ~Emits the Word of God which unites all people in the world and makes the world peaceful. There is no war or murders. This is why America is the #1 Christian nation on Earth with the lowest divorce rates, crime rates, suicides, wars, nuclear weapons, guns, gangs, drugs, prostitution and so forth. The more Christian a nation gets, the less of these things you see (ignore what the Liberal Media tells you)

What does the Bible say about abortion? How do we know the God is against abortion?

It's in the Bible.

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Will Watson. Medical Student. Cake Lover.

[Gealle]

http://www.truechristian.com/kidzbabel.html

This just takes the fucking biscuit. This site's a great timewaster!

[Eliot Wilson]

I love "In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators." Well, yes, because they're human beings. Similarly, practically all politicians, clergymen, charity workers, doctors and nurses started out as Masturbators. Hang 'em high!

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Bill and Ted beat the Grim Reaper at Twister

Bill: "You played very well, Death, especially with your totally heavy Death robes."

Death: "Don't patronise me."

[Guest]

You made my day!

[Guest]

That site sounds as though it was written by fascists rather than Christians. As true Christians know that everyone has free will to make their own mistakes, turning society into a totalitarian regime takes peoples' God given right to free will away.

[echo]

Err
Its a joke sight, note the the earth is flat etc.

[rob 'f*ck off' wine boy]

Quoting echo from 13:01, 1st Sep 2005
Err
Its a joke sight, note the the earth is flat etc.

Ya think?!

[Prophet Tenebrae]

SHIT! And there was all of us thinking it was real! Thank fuck someone pointed out it was a fake or our faces could have been really red!

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IMAGE:www.btinternet.com/~brother.war/white10-2.gif

[WashingtonIrving]

on a similar note, http://www.landoverbaptist.org/is awesome. Special kudos goes to them for the forum section, some great stuff in there.

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There's gotta be some way out of here, the joker said to the thief

[bramble]

Hehe those websites are hilarious...however i showed my sister them and it failed to raise even a laugh out of her. Makes me wonder...

*slopes off to sell sister and buy a better model*

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And i still hold your hand in mine when im asleep