Thinking of leaving

[Guest]

I'm a 1st year and although I've enjoyed my time here so far I've started to have second thoughts about staying. Basically most of the people I've met are geeks and don't talk much and are downright annoying (sorry I know this sounds harsh). I haven't met many people who I can really imagine being proper friends with and if I'm here for 4 yrs I think it's important that I do. Is it too early on to be making decisions like this? Have most people found their friendship groups by this time?

[Anonymous/b]

i left in my first yr, now i'm back (several yrs l8r) - most ppl don't form firm friendship grps for a while, ur v lucky if u fall into a good group instantly. there's so much choice its difficult 2 find the people that'll b ur m8s 4 the rest of ur life but they're out there if u can b arsed 2 find them. it's worth the wait, truly, but if ur really unhappy then leaving can also b a good thing - double edged sword eh?

i took a leave of absence (fro 2 yrs) instead of dropping out, and visited every now and again 2 c the m8s i had made. they're not my best friends but they're there and it helps 2 have a foot in the door.

if ur not sure abt the friends u have now then go out n meet nu ones, the best thing about uni is that ppl r always happy 2 chat 2 someone they havent met b4. smile and most will smile back (if not then theyre miserable sods and not worth knowing neways) [img]littleicons/yellowhappyface.gif[/img] <- my first sinner smiley - figure u cud do with it

[flossy]

Does anyone else find txtspk almost unintelligable?

Anyhoos, great bit of advice I was given: you spend first year making as many friends as possible, you spend the next few years trying to get rid of the ones you dislike. (Cruel, yes. And this was from my mum).

Get involved in societies and sports that you're interested in - if you missed them at the Freshers Fair, you can usually find their email address on the Union website etc. - as you'll have more in common with people from these than just people you met whilst drunk at a party.

If you're truly unhappy, it is best to take a gap year or apply to another university but if you're funded by an authority, this can have an adverse effect on the fees you pay (you may be expected to self-fund for any repeated years).

[hr]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the substrate.

[Thalia]

I'm a fourth year and the majority of the people i spend time with now aren't the same people as back in first year.

If you are enjoying your time here, and the only problem is that you don't think you've made any real friends yet, then i'd suggest persevering and going out there and meeting new people.

[hr]

You've been nothing but an angel every day of your life and now you wonder what it's like to be damned...

[Pacitti]

i didn't make many friends last year when i was a fresher, but now that i'm in second year its far better. i dont form weak friendships i look for people that i rally get on with. trust me it'll get better with time.

its been said in a previous post i know but most people are more than happy to talk to randoms, not that im saying your a random, you know what i mean.

my ex left at easter last year, she got into a group of friends who ended up being really fake and just a bunch of bitches actually. that wasn't the reason for her leaving but it didn't help.

the people i spoke to in the first few months for term last year, i dont really speak to now. it does get better trust me.

[harmless loony]

It's no secret that it took my ages to settle in when I arrived in St A and did actually have an offer from another university at the end of my first year...however, I decided to give it another go and had an absolutely fab 2nd year and knew I'd made the right decision to stay.

It takes time to make friends..at one point I had this strange feeling that I had somehow forgotton how to make friends and I kept meeting people I had nothing in common with but trust me as time goes on you get to know people better and you will find your set of friends.

I met my best friend in the laundry room in New Hall - it all started when I asked her if I should put one of my shirts in with the colours or the whites..mundane and strange conversation that it was we somehow got on really well and well the rest is history! You will meet your friends in the strangest of places! Maybe if Oli hosts another Sinner Dinner you can go along to that and meet some of the Sinners and find something in common with at least one of them?

I graduated last year and I'm still in touch with a lot of my friends. Looking back now I can't believe I almost left but I do understand the feeling you're having and trust me you'll get the same feeling whichever uni you start out at.

[iab2]

It wasn't until halfway through 2nd year that I formed the friendships that would take me through the next few years. Like you, I couldn't really get on with many people, though there were some that were good people and I am still friends with them today. The best thing I ever did was agree to move into a house with a friend and people who were more on the periphery of those I spent most time with, as they turned into the best friends you could ever want to have. Not all people have a solid group by the end of 1st year, university can be lonely that way, but it often changes in 2nd year, with growing confidence in themselves.

I would advise getting to know people through friends (or those you can imagine being friends with anyway), could be the best effort you ever make.

[hr]

http://www.usefilm.com/photographer/104233.html

[JohnMac]

If you dont like the group you are with just now then why not try and get involved in other groups. WHy not get involved with lots of societies and meet new groups of people that way! One of the best pieces of advice for 1st years is simply to get involved with everything that you can!