A guy thing

[Guest]

what are peoples opinion on the following!
I liked a guy at christmas time last yr and we met up a few times in clubs, each with our friends(i.e.weve never been out alone).He told me that he liked me too but we lost touch..... then he started messaging me in may again
Weve been txting each other since and aggreed to go on a date last fri but wen i msgd him to ask time etc he didnt reply. Next day he msgd to say sorry but he fell asleep and asked if i wanted to go out properly. Thing is, he asks me when and where, as if he finds it hard making descisions, maybe hes not had a gf before, im not sure!!!
Anwyay, ive been messaging him the past few days and hes not replied.
Do you think he still likes me????

[Legion]

Yes, he likes you.

Make the first move.
Jump on him.

[ariel]

my advice is to stop texting him, and act like you dont give a shit. If he likes you enough, he will worry and text you. Which is good.
If he doesnt like you that much then he wont bother texting back.Which is also
good, because then you're still single and can move on to the next guy.
It's not playing hard to get, you're just leaving the chase to him. You just have to let him know that you have plenty of other options, which you do dont you?!

[Haunted]

Quoting ariel from 14:03, 23rd Jun 2005
my advice is to stop texting him, and act like you dont give a shit. If he likes you enough, he will worry and text you. Which is good.
If he doesnt like you that much then he wont bother texting back.Which is also
good, because then you're still single and can move on to the next guy.
It's not playing hard to get, you're just leaving the chase to him. You just have to let him know that you have plenty of other options, which you do dont you?!

I really hope this line of thinking isnt common among the female populace. Acting like you dont care is sure way to make him believe you dont care. I know if I believed a girl didnt care then I wouldnt waste any more time on her

[Altheia]

If he can't be arsed to text you first, then he's just not that into you (as the title of the book goes) and you should find someone better. If he texts you, then text him back, sure, but at this point if you're doing all the work, then it's like him saying that you're not worth the effort to him. Which is a shitty thing. So let it go for a bit, and if he doesn't text back, then he doesn't deserve you.

[hr]

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain

[Nell]

in my experience, most guys are incapable of maing decisions, whether or not theyve had girlfriends. If i were you, id text him and give him a time and place, so he doesnt have to make any decisions except yes or no. if he doesnt reply to that then theres prolly no good txtin any more!

[munchingfoo]

Quoting Altheia from 15:23, 23rd Jun 2005
If he can't be arsed to text you first, then he's just not that into you (as the title of the book goes) and you should find someone better. If he texts you, then text him back, sure, but at this point if you're doing all the work, then it's like him saying that you're not worth the effort to him. Which is a shitty thing. So let it go for a bit, and if he doesn't text back, then he doesn't deserve you.

[hr]

This is rather silly. Surely the guy could be thinking exactly the same thing. Women who think like this have been reading too many self help books and have fucked their heads up. Remember, guys are people too, all the feelings of, do they like me, and, why haven't they called, WE GET THOSE TOO.(sometimes :p)

If you don't text or phone him then you appear to "not be arsed" as well. Unless you feel yourself somehow superior to the guy, in which case the relationship would be doomed to failure anyway.

[hr]

[s]
My entire life in boolean logic

¬emptyGlass(pint) => drinking(Andy)
emptyGlass(pint) AND ¬stomache(full) => buy(pint)
emptyGlass(pint) AND stomache(full) => buy(vodka)
emptyGlass(vodka) => buy(vodka)
¬emptyGlass(vodka) => drinking(Andy) [/s]

IMAGE:t3300.homepage.dk/Awesome.gif

[Rilla]

Quoting from 23:30, 22nd Jun 2005
Anwyay, ive been messaging him the past few days and hes not replied.
Do you think he still likes me????

Probably not. In my experience, if a guy ends all contact with you, it's generally because he doesn't want to have any more contact with you, i.e., he doesn't like you.
It's usually pretty obvious when someone is ignoring you- they are just too cowardly to actually say anything - ie - i dont want to see you again - they just assume you will get the message if they ignore you.
And it works.

It's definitely worth a try contacting him and seeing, but there's only so much you can do if he's not interested and there comes a point when it's best to stop and try not to think about him.

[hr]

"O unworn world enrapture me, enrapture me in a web
Of fabulous grass and eternal voices by a beech"

[munchingfoo]

Quoting Rilla from 16:38, 23rd Jun 2005

Quoting from 23:30, 22nd Jun 2005
Anwyay, ive been messaging him the past few days and hes not replied.
Do you think he still likes me????

Probably not. In my experience, if a guy ends all contact with you, it's generally because he doesn't want to have any more contact with you, i.e., he doesn't like you.
It's usually pretty obvious when someone is ignoring you- they are just too cowardly to actually say anything - ie - i dont want to see you again - they just assume you will get the message if they ignore you.
And it works.

Here we have a perfect example of what I was talking about... ... and I assume you tried to contact him after three days of not talking. No? Ah, of course, it has to be the guy that contacts people. It is likely that he was confused by such a defensive action for no reason at all that he now feels too embaraced to talk to you.

[hr]

[s]
My entire life in boolean logic

¬emptyGlass(pint) => drinking(Andy)
emptyGlass(pint) AND ¬stomache(full) => buy(pint)
emptyGlass(pint) AND stomache(full) => buy(vodka)
emptyGlass(vodka) => buy(vodka)
¬emptyGlass(vodka) => drinking(Andy) [/s]

IMAGE:t3300.homepage.dk/Awesome.gif

[rob 'f*ck off' wine boy]

Maybe he's run out of credit or his phone broke.

[munchingfoo]

yup, I mean, here is one possible scenario.

You last speak on Friday, he goes home for the weekend with no credit on his phone, he then gets back to an e-mail saying that he has been ignoring you.(which sounds quite mad and paranoid) Now he doesn't know what to do and really is ignoring you.

Purely hypothetical of course. There are many other instances where the same bodes true.

[hr]

[s]
My entire life in boolean logic

¬emptyGlass(pint) => drinking(Andy)
emptyGlass(pint) AND ¬stomache(full) => buy(pint)
emptyGlass(pint) AND stomache(full) => buy(vodka)
emptyGlass(vodka) => buy(vodka)
¬emptyGlass(vodka) => drinking(Andy) [/s]

IMAGE:t3300.homepage.dk/Awesome.gif

[ariel]

Quoting Haunted from 14:18, 23rd Jun 2005

Quoting ariel from 14:03, 23rd Jun 2005
my advice is to stop texting him, and act like you dont give a shit. If he likes you enough, he will worry and text you. Which is good.
If he doesnt like you that much then he wont bother texting back.Which is also
good, because then you're still single and can move on to the next guy.
It's not playing hard to get, you're just leaving the chase to him. You just have to let him know that you have plenty of other options, which you do dont you?!

I really hope this line of thinking isnt common among the female populace. Acting like you dont care is sure way to make him believe you dont care. I know if I believed a girl didnt care then I wouldnt waste any more time on her

Isnt it already clear that he's not wasting time on her? She has already mentioned that she texts him and he fails to reply. And if there is a reason he isnt texting back, then he wont find a million messages from her, if she stops texting that is. This will make her appear less desperate, and therefore more 'alluring'! Obviously if he texts her then she should reply-i didnt mean give him the cold shoulder.

[Thalia]

Here's a suggestion - ring him. Then you'll get your answer and you won't be sitting wondering whether he's out of credit or whether he's just ignoring you. I mean if you want to go out with the guy you should at least be capable of a phone conversation with him.

[hr]

[s]A Question
A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth.
---Robert Frost[/s]

[Prophet Tenebrae]

I've always held texting in contempt if you want to get an answer out of someone why not just call them? It'll take a tenth of the money, a hundredth of the time and is a thousand times more personal.

And really, if you fancy someone and you sit around going "well, maybe if I wait for them to call me that'll prove they like me." Yeah, that would be a fucking great idea if it were for one thing - LOGIC. This is an old argument and used by Arthur C. Clarke in Rama.

Basically, there are 3 possiblities - the person will never go out with you, will always go out with you, will go out with you only if you make contact.

Sadly because the general global populace doesn't understand, logic, probability or even common sense, sitcomesque escapades ensue.

[hr]

IMAGE:www.btinternet.com/~brother.war/white10-2.gif

[rob 'f*ck off' wine boy]

Also, maybe his nads dropped off.

[Haunted]

There is no subterfuge. If you don't ask, you don't get. Trying to complicate it more is just stupid

[Cain]

People that you have to chase all the time to get them to do anything aren't worth it.

That said, you shouldn't just give up and say he's bloody useless. leave him a message saying that you'd like to talk to him, give hints of going out for a drink or something (preferably with some sort of deadline), then forget about it. He knows what the deal is with you now. Either he messages back and you go out, or he decides not to and you move on.

either way, best of luck.

[hr]

I hold an element of surprise

[Guest]

Hi, this is not 100% connected to the topic of this thread but it is related...sort of.

I need a bit of advice here, i'm a bloke, i have now left the uni. First 3 years I hated uni, got pretty depressed etc was all set to pack it in and get a job after 3rd year. 4th Year was better, one of the main reasons was this girl i got to like, possibly the most beautiful and sweet girl I have ever met. I didnt get to know her that well, but asked her out and turns out she had a boyfriend which is fair enough. I'm not sure she realises how much I liked her and how much of a difference she made to my final year etc etc. Now we are both off and will never see each other again probably I was considering emailing her just to let her know these things. She probably wouldnt even reply but it would be nice if she knew. So basically is this a good or bad idea? Is it a bit too weird or pointless or should I just do it?

[Rufus]

Do it. It can't hurt you.

Honesty is always the best policy.

[hr]

'Do you remember how long the days were when you were a child?'

[Haunted]

Quoting from 17:39, 23rd Jun 2005
I was considering emailing her just to let her know these things. She probably wouldnt even reply but it would be nice if she knew. So basically is this a good or bad idea? Is it a bit too weird or pointless or should I just do it?

Dangerous thinking. I know the desire to tell her everything is very powerful, but you have to think about the potential damage that could be caused. It may not seem like it now, but your feelings will reduce in intensity and you may find you would rather her as a friend. If she didnt have a boyfriend I would perhaps advise you to open up to her, but if shes in a stable relationship then its best not to rock the boat.