Seeking Support

[Carmen]

Hello,

Before your proceed with this thread, if you are here to make vile, insensitive comments, I ask that you please turn away. I am not here for sympathy, but am just looking for a support group.

What's my story? I've recently pulled away from a relationship that was making me sick, mentally and physically.

I've often heard my friends saying "if he doesn't love you now, he'll never love you." I understood this and lived by this rule. But then I let myself go.

I met a this guy in autumn 2007. About 4 months ago, things got really rocky.

I tried everything to make it better; I took love lessons, sex lessons, I gave him space, we took a break because I thought that was what we needed. Although I was hurt, I took the pain when he told me he wanted to hang out with his friends instead. Things drastically worsen and I started changing myself physically; I got contacts, slimmed down and changed my wardrobe.

I know you're probably thinking, "STUPID!" I'll admit it, I was. Things took a toll on me and being stressed became being depressed.

It took a lot to clear the smoke in front of me. I did and gave all I knew and could, but deep down inside, I knew better. I knew the man I met a year ago was no longer there. Instead what stood in front of me was a complete stranger. I knew I had to walk away. So I did.

I didn't cry when I broke it off. Tears that are wept would have no value to him, but tears that are held back are priceless.

Often times a break through looks like a break down until you get to the other side. Just because I have fallen short of my expectations, it doesn't mean I'm a failure.

Thank you for reading this. Please do not hesitate to share your sorrow.

[kate_m]

Well done you for breaking it off! It often takes time, and doing things which may seem stupid afterwards, but not at the time, to see what has always been obvious to others. It sounds like you went through a really tough time, but are a stronger person because of it. well done

[faith]

You definitely did the right thing. I know how hard it is, having had a crap relationship that I found really hard to get out of because I didn't want to hurt him by breaking up with him, even though I was really miserable. I look back and realise how stupid I was, but it has taught me so much and I've really grown as a person because of it.
Don't regret it. I'm sure you won't make the same mistake again. It will help you appreciate a man who really loves you when you find him.
After my rubbish relationship I met the nicest guy ever and we are still going out. I love him so much and I know he loves me too. He means so much more to me since I know how lucky I am to have him and that Im not stuck with the guy I was with before.
If you feel you have to change yourself for a guy, then he is not the guy for you. A man who truely loves you will except you for who you are.
I hope you begin to feel happier now that the relationship is over, I know it takes a while but you've been so strong to get so far and Im sure you will suceed.

[Hennessy]

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THANKYOU FOR CHOOSING WINDOWS VISTA...

SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB!
MAIN SCREEN TURN ON!
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!



[hr]

"What happened to Spoon?"
"There is no Spoon"
Dog Soldiers

[Tigger]

Hennessey, That is possibly the hardest Ive laughed in over a year.
thankyou.
you truly are a genius!
(an unsympathetic heartless bastard, But genius nonetheless)

[hr]

My Wings Are Like A Shield of Steel...
(Claire Raynor)

[Power Metal Dom]

Oh my! *wipes tear of joy from eye*

My exact thoughts delivered in a geeky enough way for me to relate. Bravo sir, bravo.

[hr]

Like flames on fuel...upon metal I drool

[princess]

to be honest, I find it a bit sad that every single post has to be rediculed. This is supposed to be a forum for every student at the university to voice their concerns, share things, discuss what concerns them, and if most of them are not serious that is fine. But why is it not possible to just leave some threads to those who actually care. If someone is seeking support on the student chatroom, then why not let them? because you don't care? then don't read it. simple.

[Sympathetic]

Hi,

Having been in the same position as you a few years ago I can sympathise. I don't think you are stupid for doing all that you possibly could to save this relationship, but I do think you need to think more about yourself than other people. I know what it is like to give and give and give but not get anything back, it is exhausting and depressing. You must feel that you deserve better than this.

You have done the right thing in letting this guy go, it may not feel like it now but believe me you have. I think the main thing you can do now is take some time for yourself. You have spent so long pleasing someone else that you need to find yourself again, find what makes you happy. Please do not dwell on the past. You might have been happy with this guy once, but you weren't towards the end. You health and future happiness is worth much more than any man.

One day you will find someone who is as giving and caring as you are. Until then look after yourself first and foremost. If you don't look after yourself no-one else will do it for you.

[anonymous]

Love makes you do insane things! Just know that you did try to make things better. It's just unfortunate he couldn't realize that.

[Guest]

DON'T feel stupid. It's what most of us do at some point in our life in one way or another.

I have been through almost the exact same thing last year, and it only ended after almost a year because I was not strong enough to just stay away after breaking it off.

It takes time to get over it, but it gets better.

my sympathies in any case, and don't feel stupid, just take care of yourself, that's what you need now.

[777]

Is anyone else sensing bunny boiler here? Maybe it's just me but it sounds as though he's had a lucky escape.

[hr]


You're not pinning it on me - I didn't did it!

[sunshinegirl]

the more you chase, the more they run away from you!!!

[Raindog]

Sex Lessons! What joker is teaching these. You can't teach sex. Good sex just happens. Should have tried it up t'other.

[munchingfoo]

I think Sex lessons would be more accurately described as confidence and openess lessons.

The thing is, if you met the guy in Autumn 2007, and things got rocky 4 months ago, that means the longest you could have been in a relationship was 4 months. Although, since you used the word met i think we can assume it was closer to 2 or 3 months.

I tried everything to make it better; I took love lessons, sex lessons, I gave him space, we took a break because I thought that was what we needed.

If thats what you do after two months together then its not really much wonder he ran for the hills.

I'm sorry for being so blunt. Upon my first read I felt sorry for you. When 777 posted their comment, I thought they were being a bit OTT, but then I actually re-read your post and did the maths. You should try to be a little less needy and clingy in relationships, especially right at the start.

It seems to me like you take joy in knowing that your ending of the relationship hurt him, thats pretty nasty, given the circumstances I have described above.

Men have feelings too, its hard to imagine, but they really do.

[hr]

“ When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading”