Limericks

[eagle]

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical

(from Wikipedia).

Anyone care to pass the time with a good limerick or two? Can be clean or filthy, I don't think we'd mind.

How about St Andrews based limericks? Or maybe some for the up coming first years?

[exnihilo]

I can't be bothered to write one, but a St Andrews one could very easily work on the town, gown, fear, pier, drown scheme.

[Jay]

A gastronomical cat from Putney
Concocted a wonderful chutney.
Bits of old lamb
mixed with strawberry jam
which tasted sweet and yet muttony.

that's enough for now. - Ed.

[hr]

Friends applaud, the comedy is over. (Beethoven, on his deathbed)

[munchingfoo]

There once was a man from St Andrews
Who liked to produce lots of man juice
His wife was uptight
His dog took a fright
When he wanked all night and dreamt of flange juice.

[hr]

“ When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading”

[greg-o]

There once was a girl from China
Who really wanted to be a miner
She dug a big hole
Looking for coal
And now nobody can find her

[eagle]

Great start - that last one has had me chuckling.

[Delts]

http://limerickdb.com/

Many a good one.

[hr]

Quotes: For when you can think of nothing to say yourself.

[sat]

The integral of t squared d-t,
From 1 to the cube root of 3,
Times the cosine,
Of 3 pi by 9,
Is the log of the cube root of e.

[Bizarre Atheist]

There once was a man from Hong Kong
Who thought limericks were far too long.

[hr]

[Frank]

Since your poems are clumsy and shite,
No longer can I be polite:
Come on you fucktard,
It's really not hard,
to get the damn syllables right.

[hr]

"There is only ever one truth. Things are always black or white, there's no such thing as a shade of grey. If you think that something is a shade of grey it simply means that you don't fully understand the situation. The truth is narrow and the path of the pursuit of truth is similarly narrow."
Also, some years later:
"here we are arguing about a few uppity troublemakers with a bee in their bonnet and a conspiracy theory."

[rob 'f*ck off' wine boy]

Since your poems are clumsy and shite,
No longer can I be polite:
Come on you fucktard,
It's really not hard,
to get the damn syllables right.

[hr]

[i:1c4cglb3]"There is only ever one truth. Things are always black or white, there's no such thing as a shade of grey. If you think that something is a shade of grey it simply means that you don't fully understand the situation. The truth is narrow and the path of the pursuit of truth is similarly narrow."
[/i:1c4cglb3]Also, some years later:[i:1c4cglb3]
"here we are arguing about a few uppity troublemakers with a bee in their bonnet and a conspiracy theory."
[/i:1c4cglb3]