English/Scottish Customs

[samanthad3]

Curious-

No one in the States do it, but here everyone (especially posh people) seem to enjoy kissing each other on both cheeks. I have been doing it too, but just once in a while, depending on the person.

What I'm curious is - who initiates it, and is it an 'air kiss' (aka fake kiss) or do your lips actually touch the other person's cheeks? I also notice some people like to make "muah" noises when they do. Is it ok to just give a person a kiss on one cheek?

I'm also interested in what other English/Scottish customs there are...

[gingerbeer]

I think this may be a universal 'posh person' thing. I wouldn't do it myself, but I've seen others do it. A lot of Scottish people are a bit funny about physical contact, hugging your friends is fine, but some people don't like it when someone they don't really know puts their hand on their arm when they talk to them.

[babydyke]

If your in America, just one kiss on the cheek is fine to say hello but 2 is quite normal over here (right then left apparently). air kisses are really silly and (i think)your lips are supposed to touch the other persons skin.

[Dr. Bute]

I know girls who do this but that's just so fake, even faker than the kisses (which in my opinion is already a bit of a cheesy thing). However you will spot if someone wants to do it. By the way they dress, the accent, the body language, etc. However I do notice that it's usually the man that has to do the kiss, more girls give 'air kisses' (perhaps it's a 'ego' thing, dunno) I normally only give one kiss on the cheek but it's strange because alot of people in the UK seem to expect 2.

I never realized that Scottish people don't like physical contact. I met a this cute girl from glasgow last week and she kept putting her hand on my arm so I reciprocated. Hope that wasn't a bad thing! lol.

By the way, speaking of manners/customs, I never knew it was rude to put your hand/hands in your pocket when you're talking to someone. I thought that only applied in Turkey! But the other day my consultant said if I do that again in front of the patient he'd break my glasses (and that I can't do much in return because he doesn't wear glasses. What a sense of humour) So now everytime my hands wander to my pockets I cringe at the thought of glass smashing against my face!

[sharpez]

this CERTAINLY is not a scottish custom, nor is it an english one - the few people you will see doing this are generally the rich, and the wanna-be rich.

its perceived over here as a continental thing, kissing like that, with your friends +acquaintances, and the pseudo-rich like to do it because it makes them look elegantly european.

sorry to burst your bubble

[ane]

well in Spain and Italy it's common if not almost compulsory among everyone, not a posh thing. I Germany I suppose it's a bit posh just like in England. In France on the hand it's very common.

If you do it right, at least in Spain, the girl gives an air kiss while the boy/man may touch the girls cheek with his lips lightly.

French boys for example love it when they meet girls who are not familiar with these customs and kiss them on the cheek with their lips, unlike the French girls who never really kiss them .

I do it with family and friends if we haven't seen for a longer time but not every day certainly, only if we haven't met for at least two weeks or so. But everyone does what he likes, so if you notice the other person is used to doing this just go ahead.

[EviLTwiN]

i think everywhere it is rude to put your hands in your pockets when talking to someone in a professional way. ie. if ur talking to your friends, or even a stranger in a bar, then hands in pockets is fine. If you're working though it's not fine. It's because putting your hands in your pockets is a casual thing to do, and when you're providing a service (like in a shop/restaurant/whatever) or acting in a professional manner you shouldn't give the impression that you're being casual.

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[EviLTwiN]

and yeah, the kissing thing over here is well off middle class people who want to be upper class trying to act elegant and european. ie. about 3 quaters of the regulars in ma bells.

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[babydyke]

Although I wouldn't describe it as a 'custom' in Britain, I think though some people might do it to be extra ptretentious, in my opinion, kissing on the cheek is a lovely way of saying hello to family or friends because its intimate without the full contact of a hug but not as distant as just shaking hands or something.
Just my badly-worded opinion anyway.

[Evil Knevil]

You're only supposed to shake hands when you first meet somebody! Not everytime, not to people you know, not more than once *ever*. It's supposed to demonstrate that you don't have a weapon in your hands. If you keep repeating it, then it's a demonstration that you don't trust the other person, or that you're nervous.

[babydyke]

oh, oops. ok then, kissing on both cheeks is (in my opinion) between.....hugging and..er.. just saying hello.

[EviLTwiN]

i think kissing on the cheek is a nice way of saying hello as well... it's just a pity that because pertentious aspiring rich kids do it, it's been ruined for everyone else (in britain) as they'll be associated with the aspiring rich kids.

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[Prophet Tenebrae]

There is - if not a stigma - then certainly a general discomfort. It's probably not worth trying if only for the akwardness that it can cause - and it's not like people can shy away from a bear hug.

[Cain]

[s]EviLTwiN wrote on 15:31, 14th Sep 2003:
i think everywhere it is rude to put your hands in your pockets when talking to someone in a professional way. ie. if ur talking to your friends, or even a stranger in a bar, then hands in pockets is fine. If you're working though it's not fine. It's because putting your hands in your pockets is a casual thing to do, and when you're providing a service (like in a shop/restaurant/whatever) or acting in a professional manner you shouldn't give the impression that you're being casual.

[hr]

Ditto crossing your arms. I was given a polite warning against crossing my arms when my sensei was speaking. it shows defence and sometimes defiance and disinterest.

I don't think that there are too many customs here. How you greet people depends a lot on how you know them. most of my mates will just get a small wave, or a tip of the hand. some people get big waves, others get full arms outstretched from fifty paces "HELLO!"s. it all depends on hwo they are, and how we get on.

the deal with manners like this is that there's no hard and fast way of doing things. its more about what people feel comfortable with. you should be able to work out for yourself when you meet people.

best of luck

[Aureliano]

[s]EviLTwiN wrote on 19:21, 14th Sep 2003:
i think kissing on the cheek is a nice way of saying hello as well... it's just a pity that because pertentious aspiring rich kids do it, it's been ruined for everyone else (in britain) as they'll be associated with the aspiring rich kids.


There's been a lot of talk about pseudo-wannabe-rich kids trying to act all continental. In that case, gosh darn it, what about 'us actual Europeans' in St Andrews then? Are we not allowed to socially express ourselves in our peculiar ways?

...Although us Finnish blokes aren't really known for our fiery discourse or tactile interaction. I on the other hand am somewhat of a touchy-feely oddity among my kinsmen.

I agree with Eviltwin - it's a fun and cosy way of greeting. Can be heartwarming and flattering when saying goodbye to a friendly new acquaintance, but definitely the most fun with those you truly care about.

Smooch those who deserve to be kissed, I say. Har!

[Aureliano]

Anyone remember the internet celebrity Mahir, who inspired Ali G's Borat -character and raving lunatics worldwide?

"Welcome to my Home Page! I Kiss You!"

http://www.istanbul.tc/mahir/mahir/

Now there's a man who wouldn't hesitate to go for your cheeks... or anywhere else.

[LeopardSkinQueen]

A French friend of mine's mum tried to kiss me in my first year, and I just backed away in fear. It totally freaked me out. It isn't a Norn Iron 'thing' and if someone I just met tried it I would probably run away from them in fear.

[hr][s]"Frodo breathed heavily and leaned against Sam, who put his arms about him." 'Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2'
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[Prophet Tenebrae]

When in St. Andrews...

[Anon.]

I must have terribly bad depth perception or something, 'cos I've frequently ended up bashing my nose against the other person's cheekbone. Embarrassing, to say the least.

[MercuryAnna]

[s]Anon. wrote on 23:03, 14th Sep 2003:
I must have terribly bad depth perception or something, 'cos I've frequently ended up bashing my nose against the other person's cheekbone. Embarrassing, to say the least.


It's probably due to the monocole.